Laughter

Laughter is such a great gift because:

1. Is cheap
2. Requires no special skill
3. Doesn't need any special equipment
4. Can be done anywhere
5. Is universal and common to all cultures 

 and  ... is proven to be a very efficient and effective way to happiness!

Laughter has evolved over the last two to four million years. Over that time, it's played an important role in our social fabric and is an instinct we share with our closest cousins in the animal world - the primates. What is unnervingly clear is that we are laughing far less than we used to.

It 's a sad waste of a great natural resource! 

Here are some quick and simple ways to get more of the joy of laughter into your life:

1. Hang out with people that laugh!
It's infectious. Have you got a friend that makes you laugh? or may be your relatives? Make time to meet them or call. It's valuable!

2. Determine your humour profile
What makes you laugh? Be honest about it. Make a list and then build up a stock of funny books and videos or films that you can watch when the need takes you. Compile a memory journal of all the funny experiences you have had. This might include funny pictures, articles or cartoons that made you laugh or just mementos of a funny situation. These memories can return you to that funny moment. It’s a great project and you can continue to add to it. It’s a wonderful resource when you’re feeling low, guaranteed to immediately lift your spirits.

3. Laugh at yourself
Notice what you do that's silly or childish and learn how to poke fun at yourself. Change perspective. Look at the situation from someone else's point of view - are you acting like a bit of a goose? Imagine the situation five years from now - does it really matter?

4. A weekly laughter list
Once a week, jot down five to seven things that made you laugh or were funny over the past week

5. Practice! Practice! Practice! Discover what makes you happy and keep doing it!

• Spend time playing with your pets and/or children. Play is a great way to bring on laughter

• Download screensavers that make you smile — with all the time we spend sitting in front of our computers, it seems logical to use some of this time to smile.

• Avoid the news on television, radio and in the paper. If you can’t resist, finish with the cartoon section so you can have a hearty chuckle.

• Take 30 minutes every day and live it as if it was the last 30 minutes of your life — that sure puts things into focus.

By Cris Popp, Chief Laughter Officer, Laughter Works

Happiness and Joy

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     JOY: HOW IT WORKS

We have feelings about our needs (like food, air, water, etc.).
When needs are satisfied we feel joy.

We have feelings about our wants (for love and affection, even for things like a new house, car, etc.).
When wants are satisfied we feel joy.

Our emotions constantly push us toward joy. When we use our anger positively, we increase our odds of getting what we want and to feel joy.

When we use our sadness positively, we replace what we’ve lost and feel joy again.

When we use our fear well, we protect ourselves and feel joy.

We feel excited whenever we are “on our way” toward what we want! Excitement mobilizes our energy to keep us on track toward joy.

Source: About Joy by Tony Schirtzinger, Therapist 

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TAKING THE TIME TO FEEL THE JOY

Life is changing constantly, and that means that our wants, needs, feelings and choices are changing too. We need to re-evaluate them on a regular basis.

Ask yourself questions:
“What is truly important to me in my life, and why?”
“What is in my day that is stopping me feeling happy?”.

Your goal is to find your top priorities in your life and focus on what really matters for you. Make sure you know what are your true needs and wants, and why. Everyone you know probably has an opinion about what should be important to you. Keep in mind that this is your life, your needs and your wants.

Consider a Concept Living by Half by Jonar C. Nader : “Half everything in your life that is not adding value to you , so you will have time to double anything else that creates value and bring more daily enjoyment.” Try to balance your “need to do” activities with a few things you really want to do.
It is important to make time every day for the things you really enjoy.

GETTING MORE JOY IN YOUR LIFE

• Give yourself small doses of joy regularly using your IMAGINATION.
  The easiest way to get more joy in your life is to simply IMAGINE that you’ve got something you want. Close your eyes and picture a situation or place that feels peaceful and joyful. Are you a music lover? Tune in to the soundtrack of nature-crashing waves and birds singing. Buy a small fountain, so you can enjoy the soothing sound of running water in your home. Surround yourself with smells using scented candles, scented sheets, or your favourite perfume.
  
• Consider the habitual regular joys.
  Every single time we take care of a bodily need we feel a considerable amount of joy. Experiment with your sense of touch: give yourself a hand or neck massage, wear clothing that feels soft against your skin, pet a dog or cat. Taste! When we eat a great meal we feel quite a bit of joy. Movement ! Anything that engages the muscles can work: go for a short walk, dance, even some simple breathing exercises can bring more joy to you.
  
• Don’t forget about the joy of getting “Stuff”, but remember that this feels good only for a relatively short while.
  There is real joy to be had from getting stuff (everything from new clothes to a new house). Take the time to enjoy these things, but don’t be surprised when you notice that abrupt end to such joys. The excitement of a new car usually lasts only a few days or weeks, and it then just becomes background. The excitement of new shoes, or clothes last only hours or days before it become background.
  
• Give and receive joy of affection & attention.
  Hang out with people who bring out the best in you. Send blessings to people who are hurting, imprisoned, or in pain. We all want the same three things: to give love, to receive love and to know that we matter. Simple acts of kindness such as a smile at strangers or giving a compliment will not cost you anything, but they add enjoyment to your life and the lives of those around you.
  
• The BIGGEST JOYS will come!
  The biggest joys of life come from getting your needs met regularly and from getting big doses of attention and affection. Regularly examine your life’s priorities, your new wants and needs and give them first place in your life. Take care of your own needs and wants, plan your time for small and “stuff” joys and your biggest joys will definitely come!

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IT ALL COMES DOWN TO THIS:

After each bite of food,
After each trip to the bathroom(!),
after each “stroke” you get from the people who like you,
after every opportunity for joy,
stop everything for a moment
and
NOTICE THAT GOOD FEELING OF JOY!

  Source:  About Joy by Tony Schirtzinger, Therapist
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Your Positivity Ratio

People think angels fly because they have wings.
Angels fly because they take themselves lightly.  ANONYMOUS

Negativity can poison our lives, our relationships, and how we feel about ourselves. It can give us the sense of being overwhelmed and trapped, that we’re bringing down those we love, and failing to cope. Positivity can make a real difference. World-renowned Positive Psychologist Dr Barbara Fredrickson brings twenty years of research in her revolutionary science to help you defeat your negative emotions.

Take the positivity self-test now and calculate your Positivity Ratio for today. Then practice our New Toolkit  to Increase Positivity in Your Life. Find what works best for you. Try them out for 2 weeks and take a test again.  We promise that your Positivity Ratio will increase by 50%. Try it now! Share with us your results!

Your New Toolkit to Increase Positivity in Your Life by 50% in 2 weeks!

1. Be Open

The goal here is to experiment with mindful awareness while carrying out your day. Make your motto “be open”. Temporarily rid your mind of expectations and judgments. All too often these cloud your ability to be open. Instead, give yourself permission and time to experience the richness of the present moment. No matter what you encounter, no matter what happens, experiment with both awareness and acceptance. Attend to what’s happening without trying or wishing for change. There’s no need to view any of the thoughts, feelings, or sensations that come to mind as disruptions that must be suppressed. Instead, acknowledge them, appreciate them, and allow them to pass. Tell yourself, “It is what it is”, and simply observe. Mindful awareness casts a wider, more accepting stance toward the present moment than is typical. Watch what feelings emerge as you experiment with openness.

2. Create High-Quality Connections

Truly connecting with others can be a breath of fresh air. Any social interaction – whether with family, co-workers, or the person ahead of you in line at the post office – is a chance to create a high-quality connection. High-quality connections are life-giving. You recognize them instantly by several telltale signs: they foster mutual appreciation and encourage truly being or doing things together; they recharge your energy and your vitality; they bring real physiological changes.

According to Jane Dutton, cofounder of the Centre for Positive Organisational Scholarship at the University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business, there are four ways to build high-quality connections. The first is respectful engagement. Be present, attentive, and affirming. The second is to support what the other person is doing. Do what you can to help her succeed. The third is trust. Believe you can depend on this person to meet your expectations, and let it show. The fourth way is play. Allow time simply to mess around, with no particular outcomes in mind. Engaging with others in one or more of these ways transforms ordinary or corrosive interchanges with others into end-less sources of genuine positivity.

3. Cultivate Kindness

This exercise draws from research done by Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of The How of Happiness. Give yourself the goal of performing five new acts of kindness of a single day. Aim for actions that really make a difference and come at some cost to you, such as donating blood, helping your neighbour with her yard work. Or figuring out a better way that your ailing father might manage his chronic pain. Be both creative and thoughtful. Notice the good feelings that come with increasing your kindness: the positive connection to the person you helped, the fitting sense of pride you get from making a contribution. Try it for a few months and see the difference it makes.

4. Dispute Negative Thinking

This exercise is adapted from the Penn Resilience Program, a depression-prevention effort rooted in cognitive-behavioral therapy that teaches non-negative thinking. For this , you’ll need a set of index cards. On each one, write one of your typical negative thoughts, such as “Why hasn’t she called by now? Doesn’t she care about me?”. What is important here is to write down negative thoughts that are realistic and truly yours. Capture your inner critic, that voice in your head that’s sceptical of you, of others, and of everything around you – the voice of ill will.

Once you have written out your set of usual suspects, shuffle the cards and pick one at random. Read it out loud. Then – as fast and as thoroughly as you can - dispute it! Do it out loud and with some conviction. What are the facts here? When you’re satisfied that you’ve shot down your menacing negativity with your rapid-fire facts, move on the next card. Repeat. As you work your way through your negativity deck, let your conviction grow as you become a seasoned disputer. Whenever you find gratuitous negativity lurking in your mind, externalize it by adding it to your deck of cards. Challenge yourself to meet it out in the open – out loud – with your rapid-fire facts.

Negative thoughts roll out automatically, against your best intentions. Your goal with this exercise is to become just as quick with disputation as you are with negative thoughts. Nip them in the bud with your fast facts, before they have a chance to blanket your day with doom and gloom.

5. Find Nearby Nature

When the weather is good, you need to be ready. Locate a dozen places you can get to in a matter of minutes that will connect you to green or blue, to trees, water, or sky. These have been shown to boost positivity. Perhaps a few natural spots bloom just steps from your door. If so, explore them thoroughly. Make them your own. Go to your library or local bookstore and pick up a guide to the walking trails and gardens in your area. Seek out more-natural sanctuaries: forests, rivers, meadows and oceans. Make these placed regular destinations, whether to exercise, socialize, or just be one with nature.

6. Learn and Apply Your Strengths

Once you’ve learned your strengths, the hard part follows: redesign your job and life so you can use them every day. Which aspects of your job or daily activities draw on your strengths? Which aspects squelch them? How might you devote more of your energy toward doing what you do best? What changes do you need to make to truly use your strengths each day?

7. Ritualize Gratitude

Being grateful simply requires that you notice the gifts that surround you. If you’re drawn to record your thoughts in writing, consider buying a handsome blank book to be your gratitude journal. In it, describe the things for which you’re grateful each day. Beyond simply listing good things in your life, one effective strategy is to describe why each good thing happened, in a few sentences. Or consider, for instance, reviving the time-honored ritual of saying grace before meals: either in your head or out loud, take a moment to offer your sincere thanks for the food that’s before you. You choose whom to thank, whether it be God, the earth, farmers, food handlers, chefs, or all of the above.

Or try “good ending “ritual. Good ending include an appreciative summary – an honest acknowledgment of the goodness that transpired prior to leave –taking. Take stock of what good has happened in that location. Thank the person or group, the place for supporting you or experiences that occurred there. You’d be surprised how many times each day you face endings. If departures become your cue to give thanks, this ritual will leave you afloat in gratitude each day.

8. Savor Positivity

We highly recommend reading:
5 Simple Ways to Get More Laughter Into Your Life

To experiment with savouring, you’ll need two things: first, a source of genuine love, joy, pride, or any other flavour of positivity in your life; second, a willingness to think differently about it. It doesn’t matter if your source of heartfelt positivity happened in the past, is happening now, or has not yet come to be. Practice with all three time frames. See which suits you best. The key is to think about the event in a way that stokes your positivity flames right now.

Allow yourself time to roll your mental images around in your mind. Look at them from all angles. Pump them up and then drink in their sweetness now. Now consider whether you can consolidate those memories further. Did you take any photos? Is so, perhaps you could organize them and select a few to frame or share. Do you love words? Then perhaps you could write a poem or story about the most radiant moment. Or simply strike up a conversation with someone who’d also appreciate these cherished moments.

Once you recognize how valuable good feelings are to your mindset and your future, savouring becomes easier. You’ll soon find that you can stretch and amplify your moments of heartfelt positivity simply by the way you attend to them.

9. Visualize Your Future

Imagine yourself ten years from now, after everything has gone as well as it possibly could. You have worked hard and succeeded at accomplishing all of the life goals you set for yourself. Imagine that you’ve reached your own best potential.

Try to write it every day for a week. Fill in all the details you can imagine. Describe your surroundings and your feelings.

After about a week, review what you’ve written. Draw out from your dreams a life mission. What purpose do you want to drive you – each and every day. Why do you get up in the morning, feed yourself, and bother to stay healthy? What is the meaning of your existence?

Take time to let your deepest hopes and dreams rise to the surface. Give those visions words. Get your ideas out on paper, then distil them to their essence by crafting a mission statement, short enough to memorize and serve as your touchstone. When you think you’ve got it right, put it to the eulogy test. If you were to carry out this mission, would your time on earth be well spent? Would others resonate with appreciating and admiration?

Now create a ten-year plan to help you meet your mission. Distill it to bullet points, so that your dreams can guide you through your decisions now.

SHARE WITH US YOUR THOUGHTS !
To keep up to date with our news, new articles and current events connect with us on Twitter, Facebook. For information about Enough is Enough Anti Violence Movement visit: http://www.enoughisenough.org.au/

8 Secrets to a Strong and Happy Family

The family is the basic social unit of society. It is in the family that we first learn to play, to share, to help and to love. Some families effectively prepare kids to be strong and resilient, teaching them on how to cope with life’s frustrations and inevitable problems; others do not.

All families have challenges and weaknesses. But some families use key strengths to grow and prosper. Years of research have found that strong families cultivate 8 important traits that are found in the majority of strong, happy families. Here are the traits that are essential to a strong, happy family. Where is your family now? If your family is strong in a certain area, put plus in the box, if it is weak, put a minus, and if it doesn’t exist, put a zero. Then, try to turn the minuses into pluses!

1. Commitment: One for All, and All for One

The most important trait in strong, happy families is commitment. Commitment to the family – putting the family first – and commitment to each individual in the family in helping him or her become everything he or she can be. Commitment to the family – investing time and energy in family activities and not letting work or other priorities take too much time away from family interaction. In short, family life is priority.

A winning attitude is “I’ll forgo my own immediate gratification to help a child or a mate succeed, because I know the personal joy that I experience when I help another family member.”

2. Effective Communication: The Basis for All Family Strength

It’s hard to believe that the amount of high-quality communication time could be only 10 minutes per week, as one study found. Because you are product of your experience, each day you are a new person. Without taking and listening to each other family members can soon become strangers. To understand each other, a family has to be willing to invest the time necessary to share their feelings and opinions. Strong families are often task-oriented in their communications, identifying problems and discussing how to solve them together.

Have regular family meetings. Family meetings help us give proper attention to our family. They provide a forum of discussion for family issues, and an opportunity to plan for family time.

3. Appreciation and Affection: Do not Afraid to Express Your Love

A number of years ago a survey was done among women asking what they considered men’s worst faults. “Lack of appreciation” was the most frequent response. Do you let your children and mate know they’re appreciated? Can they tell by the way you treat them that you think they are pretty special? Strong families focus on the strengths of each other – not the faults.

If you think your family needs improvement in this area, try serving a compliment with each meal – at least 3 times a day. “ I really like the way you...” “You are special to me because...” “One of the things I like best about you is...” “You make me happy when you...” “You have a real talent when it comes to...” “ I love you ..” “You make me proud when....”” You make me feel wonderful when you...”

4. Time Together – Enjoy Being Together

One study of 1,500 schoolchildren asked, “What do you think makes a happy family?” Few replied that money, cars, fancy homes, or Disney World made a happy family . Most children said that a happy family is one that does things together, and that genuinely enjoys the times family members share with each other.

Plan time together. Schedule it. Play together, read together, travel together, walk together, and enjoy leisurely times together. Don’t let jobs, school, or personal hobbies steal family time.

5. Spiritual Well-Being /Religion - “the family that prays together stays together.”

People in strong families describe this concept in a variety of ways: some talk about faith in God, hope, or a sense of optimism in life. Other talk about their families in almost religious terms. Other expresses these kinds of feelings in terms of ethical values and commitment to important causes. “Spiritual well –being can be seen as the caring centre within each individual that promotes sharing, love and compassion. It is a feeling or force that helps people transcends themselves and their day-to-day stressors, and focus on that which is sacred to them in life.”(2) A spiritual connection provides sense of purpose in life, direction, and perspective.

6. Successful Management of Stress and Crisis

Healthy families aren’t problem-free; they just admit to problems and get the help they need to solve them! The longer a problem drags on without a solution, the more discouraging family life becomes. Don’t allow this to happen! If you wait it can destroy you – and your family. Keep searching for answers. Keep reaching out!

Strengthening Families in Times of Crisis by Stephen R.Covey (3):

“There are three things that I encourage everyone to do with their families in good times or bad:

1. Write a family mission statement – identify what kind of family you want to be. For instance, what qualities define your family, what kinds of feeling do you want in your home, how do you want to build relationships? Get everyone involved in these questions and write something that describes your family and how you want to be.

2. Hold weekly family meetings – gather your family once a week to talk about issues, problems or good things in your family. Refer to your mission statement to see how you are doing. Enjoy this time together; do something fun.

3. Remember the emotional bank account – similar to a bank account, you can make deposits or withdrawals from each of your family relationships. Make a conscious effort to make meaningful deposits in your relationships. When you make a withdrawal, apologize and correct the mistake.

As you do these things, you will find your relationships strengthened in your family. You will take control of your life and your family’s life rather than being tossed away by the storms of problems or crises that come your way and your family will be your greatest source of strength and support.”

We highly recommend to read:
5 Building Blocks of Active Parenting

7. Common Interests and Goals – Your Own Family Rhythm

The more that family members have in common, the more they tend to do together. Having similar interests and developing common goals gives the family something to look forward to, to plan toward, and to experience together. A vacation is a great example. The planning of it sometimes is almost more enjoyable than the actual vacation!

The healthiest families are also open to change. They have routines, rituals, and traditions that give direction, meaning, and structure to the daily flow of life. They have learned to adapt to the changing needs of their family. They grow with the times and one another. From both the past and the present grow new traditions and new rhythms. The harmony and rhythm may change in creative ways, but the beauty of the music continues.

8. Play and A Sense of Humour

Happy families have fun together; they laugh together. Having a sense of humour during tense, troublesome moments is like pouring oil on boiling water. It defuses the tension and has an immediate calming effect.

Happy Family Journey!

Resources:

1. Joycelyn Tucker Burgo, Kids and SELF-ESTEEM
2. Stinnett and DeFrain, The Family Strengths Model
3. Stephen R. Covey , Strengthening Families in Times of Crisis
4. Kay Kuzma, What makes a strong, happy family? - Essential traits for happiness

Related articles:   How You Parent?    My Out-of-Control Teen

Living Beyond Limitations

May be we can’t just flap our arms and fly, but we can invent the airplane

Most people live within their limitations. When hearing a new idea that excites them, the first thought is, “but I can’t do that, because” or “I can do that, but ..”.
There are two types of limitations: internal and external.  

Internal limitations are about self-image and skills .

A clear thinker and social commentator that I know writes about his views. But he holds back, thinking, “I am only an economist”. He is more than that: I learned a lot about social transformation from him. But he won’t let himself live to his full capacity.

Internal limitations are in our heads – they are created by confusion and fear. They are based on past experience.
What if we drop the projection of the past onto the future?
Then “I don’t know how to do that” becomes “I don’t know how to do that yet!”. And “I don’t do that” becomes, “I’ve never done that before!”.

Then there are external limitations like,” I want to, but my wife/boss/people around will not agree/support/accept”. Some of them are real. Real limitations are based on who we are. For example, I can’t flap my wings and fly. If we don’t respect real limitations, we put ourselves in danger. But we will not know the difference between our internal and real limitations until we test them. And even if we fail, we learn and grow.

Here are some tips for testing limitations :

• Try to change what you are saying from, " I don't do this"  to “I’ve never done this until now.”

• See yourself as a person who has done certain things in the past, and can do different things now.

• Consider this: If another person can do it, then I can do it. Maybe not as well. But I can work my way up to going to do it well.

• Pick a goal – something new and different – and working to make it happen. To reach a new, different goal, we must work in new, different ways. That means leaving some past limitations in the dust.

• Consider this: If we dream it, we can do it. Maybe we can’t just flap our arms and fly, but we can invent the airplane. Imagination becomes reality. Make your dreams real.

Inspirated by Sid Kemp
http://www.sidkemp.com/ 

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For information about Enough is Enough Anti Violence Movement visit: www.enoughisenough.org.au

Add Some Fun into Every Single Day

Over a hundred years ago Einstein proved that everything in the Universe is made out of energy. In more recent years David Hawkins has proved through extensive kinesiological testing that everything and everyone has an energy vibration and that energy vibration changes depending upon how we feel. Our emotions are the energy source that helps us create what we want and sometimes what we also don't want.

When you feel happy you are in a higher energy field. For the most of the people feeling good about themselves and having fun place them into a higher energy field. Now if you only experience one of these states there is a very good chance you will achieve your goal - feel happy.

But how can you think about fun and feel good if you are surrounded by annoying people, problems and so on?
You do it by focusing on one step at a time. As we get older it’s so easy to get caught up in our responsibilities, commitments and caring for others that we forget to have fun, so you may have to do some serious soul searching.
Fun can be reading a book, watching a movie, socialising with friends, playing a sport, taking a dance class. Make a list and keep adding to it. Write down everything you have ever wanted to do, places you want to visit, experiences you want to have. Then start making conscious choices every day to act more courageously. You don’t have to face your greatest fears, just take regular action which requires some courage. This takes you out of the field of fear and into a positive energy field.

Ask yourself what needs to happen for you to feel good about you. For a lot of people self esteem results from achievement, and this is a trap that I’ve fallen into many times. The problem with achievements is that they can always be taken away from you. So focus on who you need to be to feel good about yourself, internal feelings of self worth can never be taken from. Choose some values, define how you would act as that person then commit to living by them.

The more you act on your values the better you feel about yourself. When you let your fears go and you feel good about yourself, you are having fun and you feel happy, you place yourself in a state where miracles can become an everyday event.

Inspirated by Anne Hartley 

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Tools and techniques for a happier life
Happiness & Its Causes
5th Annual Conference 
- 5-6 May 2010, Sydney
Happiness & The Human Spirit: 5/5/2010, 12:15, Personal Stories -
Ken Marslew, Founder, Enough is Enough

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A Happiness Is Relative To What?

Real life women share their own experiences and thoughts about A Woman's Happiness Is Relative To What?

Sometimes it only takes a minute to create happiness. One thing that I've found that makes me happy is to make my bed on a daily basis. I've resisted this for years and just recently embarked on a major decluttering of the home I've lived in for 25 years. Although that did make me happy, it is the one minute it takes to make my bed that I see throughout the day that reminds me that I'm worth the effort.

*****

My happiness thought of the week? A major happiness blocker is expectations, especially when manifested as entitlement. Especially a sense of entitlement that leaves you feeling wronged by the universe not giving you something. So I'm trying to become more aware of those these days. Awareness is the cornerstone. Have you tried a full on meditation retreat yet? There is no such thing as "being" happy. Save for brief, transitory reactions to events in our lives that give us pleasure. Except, perhaps, for retarded people.

*****

For me happiness is a practice. Not of something I feel but of who I am. It's got nothing to do with being upset, angry, or having things going my way. As long as I hold on to the knowing that my life is perfect just the way it is, with its ups and its downs, I remain happy. Steadfastly happy even in deep sorrow.

*****

It has been my experience that happiness , like so many other things in life, is a choice. We choose to be happy, just as we choose to love. These things are not emotional feelings. They are perspectives and actions. They are independent of circumstances, social status, monetary situations, geographic location etc. It cannot be found in a person, fame, a job, a hobby, a bottle, or a billfold. If you chase it, it will always be just out of reach. Happiness is found between our ears. It is a state of mind; an attitude. It is a way of seeing the world around us. It's the way we choose to see and interact with the world around. It is a choice. But, hey, that may just be me; what do I know.

*****

So many of the happy people I know -- especially those who have faced big happiness challenges -- say exactly the same thing: happiness is a choice.

I think the problem is that for many people, it's hard to understand how to"choose happiness" in everyday life. Even if they want to, it's hard tofigure out how to put that into action. I know it's hard for me. I have trouble with aims that are abstract, like "be more optimistic," "find more joy," "enjoy the present," and "choose happiness." That's why I focus on smaller, very concrete, actions. They lead me to the same result, but easier for me to take steps.

*****

My happiness project began three months ago. After years of battling to save my daughter from spending half of her time with a molesting father, I was broken inside. So unhappy, my teeth were ground down to broken. So broke I was nearly bankrupt. And one day, tearfully, I told myself, "I'm going to be happy anyway." I did not know how. It did not mean I was going to quit trying to save my daughter. But it did mean that I was committed to happiness. You see, it's hard to believe you deserve any happiness if something terrible is happening to one of your children.

Well, I can't say the experiment is over. But my mantra is the same. "I'm going to be happy anyway." And sometimes, more often than if I hadn't, it is working. I hope that the little bit of extra light in me will light the way for my children, and that it can continue to grow. So that they can heal and be happy, too.

How to Find Your Passion in 1 Hour or Less

"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog."  - Mark Twain

1. Write out your strengths and weaknesses

Take a piece of paper and write down occasions where you feel strong and when you feel weak. These can have happened when you were at work, with your kids, in your house, out and about. Write down all the times you felt strong and times when you felt weak inside.

Example:

Strengths: When I was teaching my daughter math. When I was cooking my family dinner. When I completed the 2009 budget. When I learned a song on the guitar.
Weaknesses: When I forgot my keys. When I lost my temper with my children. When I was working on a new project and I felt unprepared. When I had to give a presentation in front of a small group.

2. Focus in on your strengths

Say your son comes home with his report card. He has an A in Biology and a D in English. What do you focus on? English, right? And you do this because you want to improve on the weakness. He’s already doing great in Biology, why bother? You want to fix the weakness.

What you need to do is focus on the strength. Why is he doing so well in Biology? What about it does he love? Is it the teacher? Is it the material? Is the format of the class? We want to know what about that class really clicks with your kid. And when we know that, that’s when we have the power.

So pick one of your strengths. Pick the one that really affected you. I want to you really boil it down. What about the experience did you really like? Say you chose “I felt strong when I taught my daughter a math concept and she understood.”

So you like to teach. Do you like teaching everyone? Would you want to teach physics? Do you want to teach groups of kids? Or is it teaching one child? Or teaching something you know? Really get down to the nitty gritty. Figure out what made you feel excited about your strength.

In there lies what energizes you. This is what gives you power.

3. Use that Strength

If you have figured out that you love to learn new activities or you love public speaking to small groups then we need to figure out how that can be used in your current job or new job. Break down your strength into smaller terms so you can use it every day.

If you love public speaking to small groups then start by finding occasions where you can present what you’re working on. Create workshops. Teach new employees. Start a website. Do online seminars. There are a million ways to use that strength and you just have to be on the lookout for those situations.

4. Weakness Is Gone

Do this same process with your weakness. When did you feel most weak? This has to be something you did not something done to you. Was it when you were late because you slept in? Was it when you had to confront someone? Was it when you had to mingle at a party?

Figure out what it is that depletes you. What is it that you’re doing that’s wearing you out? In the example of confrontation, why is it that it depletes you. Figure out exactly what part weakens you.

Now, there are going to be people who are amazing at what you suck at. Search those people out. They can be the ying to your yang. Make them do what you hate. And conversely, offer your talent. You never know when you can be someone’s savior.

http://getanewjob.wordpress.com/2009/05/10/how-to-find-your-passion-in-1-hour-or-less/
http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/docs/RoverDecember2009.pdf

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Enough is Enough offers a number of support groups, including Domestic Violence Support Group, Vicarious Trauma Support Group, Road Trauma Support Group, Alcohol and Other Drugs Support Group.
For further details about the services please call us on 02 9542 4029 or Register your interest online.

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How to Think More Positively

Worrying or thinking negatively affect our ability to focus on getting better and makes us more vulnerable to unhealthy emotions.

To start controlling worry and reducing negative thinking write down what you are worried about. Then...

• Go through each concern and examine all the possible positive and negative outcomes
• Think about how realistic your negative thoughts are
• Explore alternative thoughts  and explanations
• Try to focus on the positive
• Keep busy and focus on tasks
• Think positively. Think about your skills, talents and achievements
• Remember good times