Happiness and Joy

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     JOY: HOW IT WORKS

We have feelings about our needs (like food, air, water, etc.).
When needs are satisfied we feel joy.

We have feelings about our wants (for love and affection, even for things like a new house, car, etc.).
When wants are satisfied we feel joy.

Our emotions constantly push us toward joy. When we use our anger positively, we increase our odds of getting what we want and to feel joy.

When we use our sadness positively, we replace what we’ve lost and feel joy again.

When we use our fear well, we protect ourselves and feel joy.

We feel excited whenever we are “on our way” toward what we want! Excitement mobilizes our energy to keep us on track toward joy.

Source: About Joy by Tony Schirtzinger, Therapist 

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TAKING THE TIME TO FEEL THE JOY

Life is changing constantly, and that means that our wants, needs, feelings and choices are changing too. We need to re-evaluate them on a regular basis.

Ask yourself questions:
“What is truly important to me in my life, and why?”
“What is in my day that is stopping me feeling happy?”.

Your goal is to find your top priorities in your life and focus on what really matters for you. Make sure you know what are your true needs and wants, and why. Everyone you know probably has an opinion about what should be important to you. Keep in mind that this is your life, your needs and your wants.

Consider a Concept Living by Half by Jonar C. Nader : “Half everything in your life that is not adding value to you , so you will have time to double anything else that creates value and bring more daily enjoyment.” Try to balance your “need to do” activities with a few things you really want to do.
It is important to make time every day for the things you really enjoy.

GETTING MORE JOY IN YOUR LIFE

• Give yourself small doses of joy regularly using your IMAGINATION.
  The easiest way to get more joy in your life is to simply IMAGINE that you’ve got something you want. Close your eyes and picture a situation or place that feels peaceful and joyful. Are you a music lover? Tune in to the soundtrack of nature-crashing waves and birds singing. Buy a small fountain, so you can enjoy the soothing sound of running water in your home. Surround yourself with smells using scented candles, scented sheets, or your favourite perfume.
  
• Consider the habitual regular joys.
  Every single time we take care of a bodily need we feel a considerable amount of joy. Experiment with your sense of touch: give yourself a hand or neck massage, wear clothing that feels soft against your skin, pet a dog or cat. Taste! When we eat a great meal we feel quite a bit of joy. Movement ! Anything that engages the muscles can work: go for a short walk, dance, even some simple breathing exercises can bring more joy to you.
  
• Don’t forget about the joy of getting “Stuff”, but remember that this feels good only for a relatively short while.
  There is real joy to be had from getting stuff (everything from new clothes to a new house). Take the time to enjoy these things, but don’t be surprised when you notice that abrupt end to such joys. The excitement of a new car usually lasts only a few days or weeks, and it then just becomes background. The excitement of new shoes, or clothes last only hours or days before it become background.
  
• Give and receive joy of affection & attention.
  Hang out with people who bring out the best in you. Send blessings to people who are hurting, imprisoned, or in pain. We all want the same three things: to give love, to receive love and to know that we matter. Simple acts of kindness such as a smile at strangers or giving a compliment will not cost you anything, but they add enjoyment to your life and the lives of those around you.
  
• The BIGGEST JOYS will come!
  The biggest joys of life come from getting your needs met regularly and from getting big doses of attention and affection. Regularly examine your life’s priorities, your new wants and needs and give them first place in your life. Take care of your own needs and wants, plan your time for small and “stuff” joys and your biggest joys will definitely come!

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IT ALL COMES DOWN TO THIS:

After each bite of food,
After each trip to the bathroom(!),
after each “stroke” you get from the people who like you,
after every opportunity for joy,
stop everything for a moment
and
NOTICE THAT GOOD FEELING OF JOY!

  Source:  About Joy by Tony Schirtzinger, Therapist
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