June 26, 2012

Change Management

Imagine you are steering a boat far out at sea. Below the deck, out of sight, lies a vast horde of demons. These demons have many different forms. 
Some of them are emotions such as guilt, anger, fear or hopelessness. Some are memories of times in which you see yourself performing badly. 
Now, as long as you keep that boat drifting out at sea, the demons will stay below. But as soon as you start steering toward land, they clamber up from below deck. You don't like that very much, so you cut a deal: "If your demons stay out of sight, down below, I'll keep the boat drifting out at sea." The demons agree and everything seems OK - for a while. The problem is, eventually you get fed up of being at sea. 

You get bored, lonely, miserable, resentful and anxious. "What sort of life is this?" you think. " The land over there - that's where I want to be heading". But the demons down below aren't particularly interested in what you want. They want to stay out at sea. So the moment you start heading for land, they swam up onto the deck and start threatening you again.
As soon as we start to do something new, our mind will start warning us "You might fail"; "You might get rejected". And all too often we let these warnings stop us from taking our lives in the direction we really want. Rather than sail for shore, we drift at sea.  
Depending on the nature of your current situation, - you may choose to start a new relationship, pursue a new career, make some new friends, improve your physical fitness, or taking a course - but whatever meaningful changes you start to make in your life, these demons will rear their ugly heads and try to discourage you.
However, if you keep steering your boat toward shore (no matter how much the demons threaten you), many of them will realise they are having no effect and will give up and leave you alone. And more importantly, you'll find that you will not just have demons; you'll soon encounter angels and dolphins.



Knowing what is most valuable to you gives you direction in life. You can focus the majority of your time and energy on these values.

Identify your highest priorities

Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and relax. Imagine yourself in a favourite place where you can take a few minutes to think. The time is many years from now. You have lived a long and full life. Reflect your life from this point. What did you most enjoy experience and doing? What did you most appreciate accomplishing or having? Write your answers.

Turn your highest priorities to goals

Goals are objectives you want to achieve. The difference between goals and simply dreams is that you really like to put money and time to accomplish your goals. If you want to live to a ripe old age to travel the world with old friends, your short term and medium goals can be taking care of your health, cultivating friendship and making money.

To achieve each of your short/medium/long time goals you need to identify the specific steps that you need to take in order to achieve each of them.

Developing an Action Plan

Imagine that you have already achieved your goal. How would you feel, look, behave, sound? How would people around you respond to you? Now begin to work backwards from fantasized image. Ask yourself what steps you must have taken to achieve your objective.
Did you need to develop new skills?
How much time it will take?
How did you deal with obstacles such as fear?
How did you motivate yourself to keep doing?


Discipline is a set of rules that you put on yourself to reach your goals.

How many times have you started to do something, only to quit after a short while? How many times have you felt too weak, lazy, shy or bored to do something you promised yourself to do? With so many distractions around you, what does it take to stay focused on your goals and dreams, and what does it take to succeed? 

The answer is self-discipline or self-control. Anyone can develop a self-discipline. It takes time to develop, but the more you practice using self-discipline the stronger it will become. The more disciplined you become, the easier life gets. Learn here some strategies and techniques on how to develop self-discipline.

You carry your attitude around with you, like a pair of glasses that tints your perception of the world.

Your experience, education and personality shape your attitude to everything around you. Depending on how you perceive the world, you will interpret and react differently to situations than someone who has a different view. Your tinted glasses (your attitude) will affect how you think, how you behave and even how you feel.


Love has been defined as a "strong positive emotion", a feeling of "warm affection", and "exclusive devotion". Things can be loved, such as hobbies, places or ideas.

Love is a very powerful emotion, capable of bringing out the best in people and the worst in people. The emotion of love is what makes a person deliriously happy or constantly heartsick.



Your Life - Your Responsibility. Ken B Marslew AM
The Happiness Trap: Stop Struggling, Start Living. Dr Russ Harris

Enough is Enough thanks the girls who participated in our Dreamtime Divas Project and for their beautiful self portraits taken during their time at Enough is Enough .

Helping Your Child Deal with Grief

As parents, we want to protect our children from everything. Unfortunately, there is a whole world of life experience out there that we can’t control. One of the most difficult situations that every child faces eventually is grief. 
Grief can be the result of many events such as the loss of a family member, friend or pet, separation or divorce of parents, or a move to an unfamiliar town.

To help children cope with grief, it is first important to make sure that the children understand it is ok to grieve and every person grieves in a different manner. Just as people are different and enjoy different things, people also grieve differently and receive help and support in different ways.

Reassure Your Child that This Is Not His Fault:

The first thing you can do to help your child cope with grief is let him know that the death/loss is not his fault. Human nature often leads all of us to believe that there was something more that we could have done to prevent a situation. If a child feels that he is somehow responsible for the event, he can harbour unimaginable pain, guilt and anger. In this case, you need explain that you understand how he feels, but that it was absolutely not his fault and not was caused as a result of his actions.

Talk With a Child in Language He/She Can Understand:

Use language that reflects what the child can see, hear, touch, and feel. Provide factual information about the event to your child. 
If not provided with information a child may use his imagination and create unhelpful or inaccurate stories about what has happened
The child should be give an honest explanation of the death and the events that lead to it. Statements like “Grandmother has gone to sleep”, or “He was so sick”, are not good explanations, because children sleep and get sick. It is better to indicate that a certain organ was not functioning properly and as a result the loved one died.
“How do you explain death to a child? A good place to begin is with what you yourself believe about death and what comes after, says Dr Dina Hankin(2). “ You can explain while the person’s body won’t be with us anymore, their soul and memory will be.” Answer questions honesty. Vague answers often confuse children and increase their fears and uncertainty. “It’s also OK to tell a child “I don’t know” when they ask some of the tougher questions, like what is it like right before or after a person dies. “Just like anything, if you can be comfortable with it, your child probably will be as well.”
Dr Hankin often helps kids come to terms with the impending death of a terminally ill sibling. She stresses that “it is important to help children create positive, lasting memories of the person who is dying.” Children may want to draw pictures for the person who is ill or just spend time with them. “Don’t put pressure on them to do it in any particular way. Just give them the opportunity to do so", she advises.

Listen and Share:

Take the time to listen to what your child has to say and encourage him to be open. Share a similar experience you had, how it made you feel, and how you got through it. In the event that your child’s grief stemmed from the loss of a person or pet let him know that you are sad, too. It is OK for you to cry when talking about the loss. Explain why you are crying, e.g. you miss the person. Your child has to know that he is not alone. 
Remember, that you are his role model for how one goes about expressing grief. 
Expressing feelings of love is extremely beneficial at a time of loss.

Find Positive Diversions:

Children will feel an empty gap in their lives, especially if the loved one was a close member of the family. Having a picture or memorable item on hand to give to your child will help to fill that gap. It is also a good idea to have your children express their feelings. Feelings can be written down in the form of poetry or a letter. Giving your child a journal will give them a private place to store their thoughts. Encourage physical activity or artful expression. 
Help your child find ways to occupy his body and mind. 
You may meet some initial resistance, but in the long run, it will work wonder for him. Play with him at the park. Buy him a new art set. Help him get back into the things he enjoyed before the crisis hit.

Watch Your Child Behaviour:

Grief, depression and stress can cause behaviour changes. Keep an eye on your child’s behaviour. Early on, sadness, anger and confusion are common, expected and completely normal. 

If it has been 4 weeks since the event happened and your child refuses to leave your side, this may be a red flag that he is still having an extremely hard time coping with the situation. Pay close attention to long term displays of the following behaviour: nightmares, withdrawal, anger, separation anxiety. If you are seeing a consistent pattern of these behaviours, you may want to consider professional assistance.

Actively responding to your child’s sadness with the proper love and care, will strengthen your relationship and prevent ongoing hard ships related to the event. While the child’s grief is certainly individual and personal, the child is still grieving in a family environment. While these situations are difficult to handle, they also opportunities for your family to grow closer as a unit; to learn to hurt and heal together. 

Ten Lessons About Grief From Children

Teaching children about grief is an important task. They need to be informed about what they may be experiencing and be assured of being loved and supported. 
At the same time, adults can learn from observing the ways children grieve because more times than not, children are just like adults in their grief, yet more honest and candid. 
The following observations are from working with hundreds of children ages 7-16 who have lost a loved one.
Lesson 1:
Some things will make you cry, even when you don’t want to cry. You weren’t really planning on crying, but the memory was too strong not to cry. It’s ok to cry, especially when you’ve got people around you crying.
Lesson 2:
Sometimes you need to take a break from grieving. Learning the lessons of grief is an important task, but so is resting and having fun.
Lesson 3:
Just because someone is laughing and having fun doesn’t mean they’re still not hurting. Taking breaks from our grief doesn’t mean the grief isn’t still there. Calm water on the surface doesn’t mean it’s completely calm underneath.
Lesson 4:
It’s nice to know people are willing to listen to you, but it’s even nicer to have them be willing to wait until you’re ready to talk. Some people have trouble sharing their feelings. They need time to develop trust. They don’t care to let you know, until you have let them know that you care.
Lesson 5:
People who have been through like experiences of loss can communicate on a deep level, with or without words. You don’t necessarily have to hear someone talk about their pain to know it’s real, especially if you’ve experienced something similar.
Lesson 6:
Not everyone wants to participate in ‘group’ activities. Just as people are different and enjoy different things, people also grieve differently and receive help and support in different ways. A favourite book or story may not mean as much to someone else as it does to you. They may find help and support in other ways.
Lesson 7:
Helping children deal with their stuff will bring up your stuff. Time distances, but it doesn’t always heal. Experiencing a loss is not necessarily dealing with a loss. The adult in you may say it’s OK now, but the little child inside of you may still be hurting and need someone to understand.
Lesson 8:
The most meaningful, healing moments may not be on the agenda. A lot of good work at the children’s camp is dome during lesson time, but some of the best work is done sitting by the lake, getting the courage to leap off the tower onto the zip-line, or taking that one last step that helps you reach the top of the wall, knowing that if you climbed that wall there are other walls in your life that you can climb as well.
Lesson 9:
Kids are still kids. They shouldn’t want to stay up late and talk after “lights out” because they are grieving children, and grieving children are different. Not so. Grief is a part of you, but there are other parts, and that’s OK.
Lesson 10:
Even though it hurts to remember, you don’t ever want to stop remembering. As the balloons launch into the sky on Sunday morning at the children’s camp, they go in search of someone we believe will always be out there whether we can see them or not, and knowing that they may find a part of them helps us recover a part of us. Seeing through tears is still seeing. Hearing in silence is still hearing. Feeling with a broken heart is still feeling. It wasn’t in our power to keep you from dying, but our memories of you will live forever.

Enough is Enough Team Spirit Support Group

Team Spirit is a support group for children and young people who are experiencing anxiety, stress, anger, separation/divorce. It's a place for them to talk and express how they feel in a confidential and safe environment. Fun activities are based around learning effective strategies and coping skills in an interactive manner.
                         Call us now on 02 9542 4029
                        or visit our website: www.enoughisenough.org.au

1. www.parentline.org.au
2. Kids and Grief, How to explain death to children by Lisa Mosckwitz Sadikman
3. Michigan Network for Grieving Chidren, Understanding Children's Grief
4. www.aringinfo.org, Helping Children Cope with the Death of a Loved One
5. Helping Children to Cope with Grief by Kimberly Kim; http://www.gaganine.com/helping-children-to-cope-with-grief/
6. How to Help a Grieving Child, http://www.dougy.org/grief-resources

June 18, 2012

Finding a Balance in Life: The Love Equation

Think of the people you know who give love in response to negative energy that’s directed their way. There aren’t many people who respond lovingly in that situation. The ones who do are able to because they have love to give away. They know that it’s impossible to give away what they don’t have, and they’ve gone that extra mile to acquire what it is that they want to both attract and give away. 
If love and joy are what you want to give and receive, then begin by taking stock. What have you got to give away? What are you giving out to the universe, and thus, what are you attracting? 
Remember that you can’t give away what you don’t have, but you can change your life by changing what’s going on inside.

Low energy attracts low energy. Low energy thoughts, such as anger, hate, shame, guilt, and fear, weaken you. And they attract more of the same. By changing your inner thoughts to the higher frequencies of love, harmony, kindness, peace, and joy, you’ll attract more of the same, and you’ll have those higher energies to give away.

To begin to change what’s inside you, become more loving toward yourself. In your thoughts, cultivate an inner voice and attitude that’s 100 percent on your team. 
Imagine an inner self that only supports and loves you. You might schedule a certain time of day when that’s the only thought that you allow yourself to pay attention to. Gradually this loving attitude will extend to other people. You’ll begin to receive this energy back and ultimately be able to send thoughts of love and joy to everyone and everything in your world.

Make a pact to remind yourself often of this secret of not being able to give away anything that you don’t have. Then work on your personal program of self-love, self-respect, and self-empowerment, and create a huge inventory of what you wish to give away. 
If what you give is self-respect and self-love, the universe will return the love and respect you’ve been radiating. It’s really so simple. As the Beatles said: “The love you take is equal to the love you make.”
by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer 
Picture from http://www.brucesallan.com/2012/06/02/find-balance-socialmedia-life/

June 12, 2012

Some Tips for Teenagers Dealing with Conflict and Violence

This article features highlights from the booklet " Pull Ya Head In and Think!" by Kimi Alcott, Cultural Coordinator, available to download from our website (PDF 5 Mb). 

This booklet is for teenagers. It talks about taking responsibility for yourself, respecting others, and about the hardest job of all, Being a Teenager.

Who am I?

  • You have a right to be YOU, you don't have to be a size 8 or have the perfect hair... You are beautiful in a way that know other person can be.

  • You are here for YOUR JOURNEY, no one else's but YOURS!

Respecting Others

  • Everyone such as yourself is on their own personal journey... respect that

  • Respect other Cultures:
    Australia is now Multi-cultural, other nationalities can be seen everyday. We should be proud they chose our country to live, but also we don't know why they left their homeland. Maybe their country is not safe or they escaped poverty. Look at other countries and see how they live, and understand how lucky Australia is. We can go to the shop without dodging bullets, we have fresh water and we have government support.
  • What someone else thinks of you is none of your business. REALLY who CARES!

  • We are ALL unique. Accept others that may be different and hope they respect us in return.

The Journey

If I didn't travel this journey I wouldn't be the person I am today. Each time something doesn't work out I believe it wasn't meant happen this way. And I need to take another direction or path... This mightn't work for you but it does for me.

Look at life as YOUR Journey.

Arguing and Anger

Don't get into arguments, they are a waste of time and energy. Anger is an internal killing machine. Anger does more damage to you than anyone else. Why do this to yourself? MOVE ON.

The Future
You can do whatever You want to do, be what You want to be, but You have to take the First Step.

  • Talk to someone
  • Contact services
  • Move forward
  • Do it for YOU
  • Take Your Journey

June 11, 2012

Life with No Violence

Have you...
Been abused in your relationship? Blamed yourself? Felt hopeless and alone? 

Love Control is a groundbreaking film produced by Women's Health In the North, taken directly from young women's experiences of abusive relationships, showing how quickly jealous and controlling behaviour can escalate into full blown violence.

Do you recognise a similar situation in your life?
Join our Domestic Violence Support Group. You can share common experiences and receive emotional support, information, and practical help with resources. 

Professional counselling is available.

May 8, 2012

Traumatic Grief: What You Need to Know

General ideology held by members of our society: 
  •  The perception of the world as meaningful and comprehensible 
  •  The view of ourselves in a positive light 
  •  Belief that it can’t happen to me 
  •  We make sense of the world by regarding what happens as controllable 
  •  Believe we can prevent misfortune by cautious behaviours 
So what happens when we are affected by an unexpected and undeserved, sudden act which shatters these preconceived ideas of our world?


Trauma is any event which can make one feel unsafe in the world, and which affects the mind and nervous system thus creating psychological harm. 

Major traumatic events include: 

 death of a loved one; 
 being affected by criminal activities or anti social behaviour of another person; 
 road incidents where injuries or death occur; 
 assault, robber, 
 being bullied, threatened or intimidated; 
 breakdown in relationships, etc 

 When a person is confronted with a threatening or violent situation they experience a rush of adrenaline. This is the body’s way of preparing for either fight or flight. This adrenaline rush causes a state of alertness where all the attention is focused on the immediate situation, accompanied by feeling of intense fear, anxiety and/or anger. 

 It is not unusual for a person be become detached and calm and seems to freeze. The psychological term for this phenomenon is dissociation. When people suffer from dissociation they often lose all sense of self. They can lose all trust in themselves and other people. They suffer feelings of guilt, and thoughts that they should have somehow, done something to stop the event from occurring.

 Understanding Grief 

Grief is an emotion. It is a natural attempt to make internal and external adjustments to the undesired change is one's world brought upon by loss. It is a process involving many changes over time and is experienced mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. Where the loss is sudden and unexpected there is the added ordeal of shock and disbelief which exacerbates all of the adjustments which the body has to adjust to. 

 When we suffer from the loss of loved one our bodies are called upon to adapt to major changes. These changes are the same as those which occur when danger is evident and the basic instinct for survival "fight or flight" comes into force. Natural chemicals are produced which cause physiological changes in our body. These physical changes can last from a few minutes to months and can reoccur every time we are faced with a new experience which we have not had to face previously.  

Common Symptoms of Grief 

While loss affects people in different ways, many people experience the following symptoms when they’re grieving. Just remember that almost anything that you experience in the early stages of grief is normal – including feeling like you’re going crazy, feeling like you’re in a bad dream, or questioning your religious beliefs. (1)
• Shock and disbelief – Right after a loss, it can be hard to accept what happened. You may feel numb, have trouble believing that the loss really happened, or even deny the truth. If someone you love has died, you may keep expecting them to show up, even though you know they’re gone.  
• Sadness – Profound sadness is probably the most universally experienced symptom of grief. You may have feelings of emptiness, despair, yearning, or deep loneliness. You may also cry a lot or feel emotionally unstable.  
• Guilt – You may regret or feel guilty about things you did or didn’t say or do. You may also feel guilty about certain feelings (e.g. feeling relieved when the person died after a long, difficult illness). After a death, you may even feel guilty for not doing something to prevent the death, even if there was nothing more you could have done.  
• Anger – Even if the loss was nobody’s fault, you may feel angry and resentful. If you lost a loved one, you may be angry at yourself, God, the doctors, or even the person who died for abandoning you. You may feel the need to blame someone for the injustice that was done to you.  
• Fear – A significant loss can trigger a host of worries and fears. You may feel anxious, helpless, or insecure. You may even have panic attacks. The death of a loved one can trigger fears about your own mortality, of facing life without that person, or the responsibilities you now face alone.  
• Physical symptoms – We often think of grief as a strictly emotional process, but grief often involves physical problems, including fatigue, nausea, lowered immunity, weight loss or weight gain, aches and pains, and insomnia. 
 When working with people who have suffered the loss of a loved one it is important that from the first time that we meet with them we begin to assist them to rebuild their sense of personal power and choice. This will then help them to cope when any future trauma is experiences. 

 Understanding Cycles of Grief 

 Cycles of grief are individual for each person who suffers a loss. There is no set pattern to the cycles and how we handle the process will often depend on our previous learning experiences and how we have learnt to deal (or not deal) with trauma, on previous occasions.

• Avoidance - one of the initial responses to loss is a desire to avoid acknowledgment of that loss. Shock, denial, numbness and disorganisation are all natural initial responses to severe loss. Denial allows the person time to absorb the reality of the situation slowly and thus enhance their ability to cope with the situation. It is during this stage that there is a need to know the details of how and why the situation occurred. 

 • Confrontation- this is the time when we are confronted with intense grief, and move through extremes of emotions. These emotions often include: anger, guilt, yearning and despair as we begin to come to terms with the incident, trying to find some meaning to what is usually a meaningless situation. There will be times when accute grief may occur and at these times the affect can be termed as "grief spasms" which may be intense and overwhelming. Repeated review of the loss experience is common. It is at this stage that symptoms of depression usually occur. 

 • Integration - during this part of the grief process the waves of intense grief get further apart and lose some of their intensity. Positive memories become more frequent, people are now able to talk about their grief and complete any unfinished business. There is the beginning of a return to and hope. 

The Difference between Grief and Depression 

We highly recommend reading:
Children in Grief: How to Cope with Loss
Distinguishing between grief and clinical depression isn’t always easy, since they share many symptoms. However, there are ways to tell the difference. 
Remember, grief can be a roller coaster. It involves a wide variety of emotions and a mix of good and bad days. Even when you’re in the middle of the grieving process, you will have moments of pleasure or happiness. With depression, on the other hand, the feelings of emptiness and despair are constant. (1)
Other symptoms that suggest depression, not just grief: 
• Intense, pervasive sense of guilt 
• Thoughts of suicide or a preoccupation with dying 
• Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness 
• Slow speech and body movements 
• Inability to function at work, home, and/or school 
• Seeing or hearing things that aren’t there 

Can antidepressants help grief? 

As a general rule, normal grief does not warrant the use of antidepressants. While medication may relieve some of the symptoms of grief, it cannot treat the cause, which is the loss itself. Furthermore, by numbing the pain that must be worked through eventually, antidepressants delay the mourning process. 

When to seek professional help for grief 

If you recognize any of the above symptoms of complicated grief or clinical depression, talk to a mental health professional right away. Left untreated, complicated grief and depression can lead to significant emotional damage, life-threatening health problems, and even suicide. But treatment can help you get better. 
Contact a grief counselor or professional therapist if you:
 • Feel like life isn’t worth living
 • Wish you had died with your loved one 
• Blame yourself for the loss or for failing to prevent it 
• Feel numb and disconnected from others for more than a few weeks 
• Are having difficulty trusting others since your loss 
• Are unable to perform your normal daily activities

Healing Grief  - Advice for Family and Friends

• Simply ask them what they want, rather than giving them advice 
• Don’t feel that you can’t talk about their loss, they will want you to. More than anything they will appreciate the chance to talk to someone who really listens and who does not judge them.
• It is normal to be confused and to forget things, be more anxious, have trouble sleeping or eating and need time of work. They will appreciate you offers of practical or even financial support. 
• Don’t avoid them or pretend you can’t see them, talk to them, they need you to acknowledge their loss, even though this may be difficult for you to face. 
• Write them a note; Phone them; Cook them a meal 
• Be yourself, you are their main support – it is ok to cry, laugh, share their pain. 

If you are not sure what to do….ask them how you can help. 

Grief Resources on the Web:

  • Grief Net: An email based support group for all kinds of grief, loss of spouse, child, partner, parent, etc. Groups are separated by type of loss, specific groups just for kids as well. Cost is $10 a month to join a group. All discussions are monitored.
  • Kids Aid: a companion site to grief net for children. Also provides an email based group to join. Groups are separated by age, 12 and under and 13 to 18. Site provides kids a place to submit artwork and writings, as well as a posting board to have your questions answered.
  • The Dougy Center: A place for children, teens, adults and families to share their experiences with grief. List of books, DVDs and training opportunities.
  • Grief Recovery Online (GROWW): Grief chat room organized into different branches for specific losses. Designed to have an opportunity to talk 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. (2)

How We Can Help:

Since 1995 The Enough is Enough Counselling and Support Unit has provided effective counselling and support groups services drawing from proven therapies and our own unique experience working with people in crisis to bring about healing, hope and growth for all members in our community.

We provide a professional service with fully qualified counsellors - all our Counsellors belong to professional Counselling Associations.
We conduct group or individual, face to face, and telephone counselling. Counselling is available for everyone, regardless of cultural or religious background. You can be referred by an agency, a family member or friend, or refer yourself to our service.

If you are in Sydney, please contact us on 02 9542 4029 for an appointment. 

We highly recommend reading:
Mindfulness as a Practice


(1) Coping with Grief and Loss
Understanding the Grieving Process ( http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm)

(2) Grief- Where to Get Help (http://lifework.arizona.edu/ea/articles/grief)

April 5, 2012

Seven Faces of Intention by Dr. Dyer

"There is a universal source of energy that is called the “power of intention.” This source – whether you call it God, the divine, or something else – is always available to us and is infinite in its possibilities. - Dr Wayne Dyer
Seven Faces of Intention: Creativity, Kindness, Love, Beauty, Expansion, Unlimited Abundance, and Receptivity -  are the keys to unlocking the power of intention in your life. 

1. Creativity

 – Realize that there is creativity within you, and learn to recognize and appreciate your creative impulses. You don’t have to be an artist or a writer – creativity is just as important to the business person looking for the next big idea.
“If you’ve ever felt inspired by a purpose or calling, you know the feeling of Spirit working through you. Inspired is our word for in-spirited.”
Learn to recognize this state of being in-spirited, and you’ll unlock your inner creativity.

2. Kindness

 –Whether you call it karma, the law of reciprocity or the power of positive thinking, work from the belief that you’ll be rewarded for good intentions.
Dr. Dyer shares the science behind kindness in The Power of Intention. When you do something kind for someone else, their brain releases serotonin – and so does yours! Serotonin is a hormone that makes us feel good. So, every act of kindness makes two happier people in the world.
“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”

3. Love

 - Think of this power of intention as the face of kindness exponentiation with the emotion of love.
Love means a lack of judgment, a lack of anger or resentment. It means recognizing God in others.

4. Beauty

 – The face of beauty is the face of intention. 
Learn to appreciate the beauty of everything around you.
The face of beauty is truth, honesty and a knowing that what "is" -- is exactly as it should be. You can use this power by re-framing any negative thoughts you have towards others and replace them with an appreciate (a thankfulness attitude) towards them.

5. Expansion

 – Expand your awareness of what is possible. 
Don’t set limits on yourself; instead, learn to listen to your intuition. 
If you see the world as a negative and hurtful place, then you’re only ever going to experience it that way. Instead, learn to recognize your true nobility.
“True nobility isn’t about being better than someone else, it’s about being better than you used to be.”

6.Unlimited Abundance

 – Realizing your unlimited abundance means facing down your fears and limitations. Dr. Dyer has a simple three-word suggestion for how to put this into action: 
Act “as if”. This means acting as if the thing you want has already happened.
You were probably taught all of your life about limitations and about what is "not possible." Fortunately, this came from well-meaning people who believed in limitation and not abundance. This law does not require you to be intellectually perfect in order to receive the benefits. Believing in unlimited abundance has no downside, so why not take another look at your business life after you answer this question, "What if I could have it all?"

7. Receptivity 

This means being open without judgment. Being aware enough and engaged enough to see possibilities where others don’t. And most importantly, it means simply relaxing and letting the Power of Intention do its work.

March 22, 2012


Laughter is such a great gift because:

  1. Is cheap
  2. Requires no special skill
  3. Doesn't need any special equipment
  4. Can be done anywhere
  5. Is universal and common to all cultures 
 and  ... is proven to be a very efficient and effective way to happiness!

Laughter has evolved over the last two to four million years. Over that time, it's played an important role in our social fabric and is an instinct we share with our closest cousins in the animal world - the primates. What is unnervingly clear is that we are laughing far less than we used to.

It 's a sad waste of a great natural resource! 

Here are some quick and simple ways to get more of the joy of laughter into your life:

1. Hang out with people that laugh!
It's infectious. Have you got a friend that makes you laugh? or may be your relatives? Make time to meet them or call. It's valuable!

2. Determine your humour profile
What makes you laugh? Be honest about it. Make a list and then build up a stock of funny books and videos or films that you can watch when the need takes you. Compile a memory journal of all the funny experiences you have had. This might include funny pictures, articles or cartoons that made you laugh or just mementos of a funny situation. These memories can return you to that funny moment. It’s a great project and you can continue to add to it. It’s a wonderful resource when you’re feeling low, guaranteed to immediately lift your spirits.

3. Laugh at yourself
Notice what you do that's silly or childish and learn how to poke fun at yourself. Change perspective. Look at the situation from someone else's point of view - are you acting like a bit of a goose? Imagine the situation five years from now - does it really matter?

4. A weekly laughter list
Once a week, jot down five to seven things that made you laugh or were funny over the past week

5. Practice! Practice! Practice! Discover what makes you happy and keep doing it!
• Spend time playing with your pets and/or children. Play is a great way to bring on laughter

• Download screensavers that make you smile — with all the time we spend sitting in front of our computers, it seems logical to use some of this time to smile.

• Avoid the news on television, radio and in the paper. If you can’t resist, finish with the cartoon section so you can have a hearty chuckle.

Take 30 minutes every day and live it as if it was the last 30 minutes of your life — that sure puts things into focus.
By Cris Popp, Chief Laughter Officer, Laughter Works

March 1, 2012

The “Scary Times” Success Manual

From time to time, economic and political events make people anxious and fearful about their futures.  Strategies, listed in this article will help you to increase your confidence, sense of direction and capability in all areas of your personal and business lives.  We hope these strategies  will support your creative thinking, communications , and actions.

1   Forget about yourself, focus on others

Uncertainty can drive people into themselves, making them feel isolated and helpless.
The best strategy here is to go in the opposite direction, expanding your connections with others – focusing on helping them transform their negatives into positives.
The more you contribute in this fashion, the less you will need to worry about your own situation. You will become a source of confidence for everyone else.

2  Forget about your commodity, focus on your relationships

In uncertain times, people become frightened about the viability of their “commodities” – the things they sell and the jobs they hold. A more strategic response here is to disregard your own commodity and focus on deepening the power and possibility of all your relationships – with family, friends, team members, suppliers, clients, customers, and prospects.
Every time you strengthen a relationship, the viability of your commodity will increase.

3.  Forget about the sale, focus on creating value

Most people don’t like being sold at the best of times. When the future is less certain, they turn off, hang up, and slam shut.
What people want at all times is value creation – that is, solutions that help them eliminate their dangers, capture their opportunities, and reinforce their strengths.
When you focus on providing these three solutions, the sales will naturally follow.

4.  Forget about your losses, focus on your opportunities

Things you had and may have taken for granted sometimes disappear. Some people never get over this. They keep trying to replay their old games.
A better strategy is to start an entirely new game – using new ideas, new energies, new tools, and new resources.
As the world changes, opportunities suddenly become available to achieve far more than you ever did in the past.

5.  Forget about your difficulties, focus on your progress

Because of some changes, things may not be as easy as they once were. New difficulties can either defeat you or reveal new strengths.
Your body’s muscles always get stronger from working against resistance. The same is true for the “muscles” in your mind, your spirit, and your character.
Treat this whole period of challenge as a time when you can make your greatest progress as a human being.

6.  Forget about the “future”, focus on today

The future is an abstraction. It doesn’t exist except as an idea.
The only future that has any reality is the one that you continually create for yourself through each day’s contributions, achievements, and results.
This is an excellent time to ignore all those experts who never saw the present circumstances coming. Focus on what you can do over the course of each 24 hours, and you will be the only expert on the future you will ever need.

7.   Forget about who you are, focus on who you can be

Many people define themselves by external circumstances. When these abruptly or unexpectedly change, they don’t know who they are, so they keep trying to be who they used to be.
From now on, take your cues from the inside – from your dreams, ideals, values, and operating principles.
These need never change, regardless of the circumstances. Take advantage of external confusion to become self-directed, self-managed, and self-motivated.

8.  Forget about events, focus on your responses

When things are going well, many people think they are actually in control of events. That’s why they feel so defeated and depressed when things turn bad. They think they’ve lost some fundamental ability.
The most consistently successful people in the world know they can’t control events – but continually work toward greater control over their creative responses to events.
Any period when things are uncertain is an excellent time to focus all of your attention and energies on being creatively responsive to all of the unpredictable events that lie ahead.

9.   Forget about what’s missing, focus on what’s available

When things change for the worse, many desirable resources are inevitable missing – including information, knowledge, tools, systems, personnel, and capabilities. These deficiencies can paralyse many people, who believe they can’t make decisions and take action.
A strategic response is to take advantage of every resource that is immediately available in order to achieve as many small results and make as much daily progress as possible.
Work with every resource and opportunity at hand, and your confidence will continually grow.

1  Forget about your complaints, focus on your gratitude

When times get tough, everyone has to make a fundamental decision: to complain or to be grateful. In an environment where negative sentiment is rampant, the consequences of this decision are much greater.
Complaining only attract negative thoughts and people.
Gratitude, on the other hand, creates the opportunity for the best thinking, actions, and results to emerge. Focus on everything that you are grateful for, communicate this, and open yourself each day to the best possible consequences.

Adopted from Strategic Coach, Dan Sullivan, "The Scary Times" Success Manual