How to Take Care of Yourself

So often we encourage someone to “take care of yourself” without giving too much thought as to how this is to be done in practical terms.  Caring for others and attending to their needs, and putting our own needs last, comes more easily to us than caring for ourselves.

“Self care” then, is not generally something that most of us are good at doing.  We have to consciously take responsibility for caring for ourselves particularly after experiencing a traumatic event in our lives.

Looking after yourself is far from being selfish and indulgent.  This is stressed by Allan Wolfelt in his book, “Healing Your Traumatized Heart”.   Caring for yourself is about acknowledging how important you are and ensuring that your physical, psychological and emotional needs are being met – at least to some degree.   He writes:

“To be self-nurturing is to have the courage to pay attention to your needs. Above all, self-nurturing is about self-acceptance. When we recognise that self-care begins with ourselves, we no longer think of those around us as being totally responsible for our well being. Healthy self care frees us to mourn in ways that help us heal and that is nurturing indeed.”

Caring for your Physical needs

• Eg eating, drinking, sleeping, exercise
• What are some of the ways you care for your PHYSICAL needs?   
• What works well for you and what do you need to consider more?

Caring for your Psychological needs

• This is about your thoughts, your beliefs, your memories and the images in your mind.
• How do you cope with the stress, anxieties, the triggers and frustrations of dealing with your grief?
• How have your beliefs changed since this trauma?

Caring for your Emotional needs

• This is about your grieving self… outbursts of grief, intensity of feelings of loss and longing to see your loved one again. 

Remember all your reactions are a normal response to a traumatic event.   Be patient with yourself and be tolerant of your limits at this most difficult time.

Know that you will never be the same again, but you can survive and go beyond just surviving.

Practical Strategies to Deal with Bullying from Renowned Australian Personalities and Experts - DVD Highlights

Providing practical strategies to effectively deal with bullying was the focus of the Enough is Enough POSITIVE SOLUTIONS Anti-Bullying Conference.

Please watch our short trailer video from the conference.

Speakers include personalities Jessica Rowe, Jason Stevens and John Stanley; renowned anti-bullying expert Professor Ken Rigby, Assistant Commissioner for Corrective Services Luke Grant, and a line-up of professionals covering topics from early intervention strategies to the likely progression to crime and domestic violence when left unchecked. Teenagers Nathan Cassar and Thomasa Wan Lum discuss their personal experiences in overcoming bullying and violence.

This DVD and workbook package is going out to every high school in NSW for FREE. Does your secondary school have their copy yet? If not please order online now and we will send you one out immediately. Don't miss out on your chance to receive a resource to combat bullying in your school.

Violence in Society

Violence creates trauma in society and to the individuals involved leaving them feeling vulnerable, disempowered and betrayed - whether the violence is perpetrated by strangers or loved ones, a victim of violence will feel bewildered on many levels.

Common after effects are trauma and anxiety which can create physical symptoms including impaired sleep, hyper-arousal and depression - these symptoms really need to be worked through in a holistic way, every individual through their own experiences in life will have had other experiences that will in some way reflect their own reactions to the betrayal that is violence.

As a community we need to bring more awareness to these issues. We also need a more proactive approach to underlying causes like alcohol and drug issues, domestic violence, anger management and bullying. Education programs based on personal responsibility can result in a reduction of violence in society and help bring some understanding for perpetrators of violence. Enough is Enough runs early education youth programs in schools and Anger Management programs in small groups for adults.

At Enough is Enough we run many workshops and groups for educating people of all ages about these issues both for victims and perpetrators. Our emphasis is on “helping people help themselves” through developing strategies for positive changes in their lives. Our counselling services help people in the community to overcome the effects of crime and violence. Support services provide a caring environment in which people may share their experiences with others in similar circumstances, feel supported and gain access to information.

Other services include “Conferencing” where in a structured, assisted, safe, format, victims get a chance to confront those who have caused them harm and “Advocacy and Court Support” which can be organised where additional support is required while people attend court.

Observations of an Ordinary Bloke - ON BULLYING

Bullying in schools is not the tip of the iceberg, it is part of  ' what lies beneath'. The real tip of the iceberg is the increased level of violence that appears to be happening across society, across the world - road rage, trolley rage, queue rage, levels of assault, increased levels of domestic violence. Bullying is the precursor to this epidemic. How bullying is dealt with in its early stages will have a long-term impact on society.

There is plenty of talk but little action. Bullying is different things to different people, but if an initial description and standardized policy is agreed upon, the issue can be dealt with together. There are some good anti-bullying strategies available and in many schools. Some suggestions for school include counselling and enrollment into programs to deal with their behaviour (perhaps programs that the whole year group can be involved in). For example, emotional management, relationships, conflict resolution and life skills, aligned with curriculum. 

When dealing with those who are the target of bullying and harassment, it is necessary to be mindful that victims are not given assistance in the development of an impact statement. Protecting them at school may be possible, but not in the broader community, and this may set them up to be victims elsewhere. Building resilience in these people is critical in their long-term ability to deal with similar issues. 


It would be beneficial to encourage the philosophy of Victim, Survivor, Thriver - The Journey.   



Read more here  (Observations of an Ordinary Bloke - ON BULLYING - by Ken Marslew, Educational Activities Magazine)

Ken Marslew has been working in the area of positive behaviour change for over a decade. Following the murder of his son Michael in 1994, he formed the organisation Enough is Enough Anti Violence Movement Inc.  Ken Marslew's pragmatic approach to dealing with change sees his programs in over twenty correctional centres across NSW, working with men, women and juveniles. He also runs programs for behaviourally challneged students in high and primary schools NSW. For more information about EIE anti bullying programs in schools, the content and availability, please visit our School Programs Page.