tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62812907289390721222024-03-16T12:09:32.186+11:00Don't Suffer in Silence - Enough is Enough BlogEnough is Enough Anti Violence Movementhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16036344541649908910noreply@blogger.comBlogger108125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6281290728939072122.post-34802430504728587112012-06-26T13:29:00.000+10:002012-06-26T15:22:43.634+10:00Change Management<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Imagine you are steering a boat far out at sea</b>. Below the deck, out of sight, lies a vast horde of demons. These demons have many different forms. </span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: small;">Some of them are <i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;"><b>emotions</b></span></i> such as guilt, anger, fear or hopelessness. Some are<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;"> <i><b>memories</b></i></span> of times in which you see yourself performing badly. </span></blockquote>
<span style="font-size: small;">Now, as long as you keep that boat drifting out at sea, the demons will stay below. But as soon as you start steering toward land, they clamber up from below deck. You don't like that very much, so you cut a deal: "If your demons stay out of sight, down below, I'll keep the boat drifting out at sea." The demons agree and everything seems OK - for a while. The problem is, eventually you get fed up of being at sea. </span><br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: small;">You get bored, lonely, miserable, resentful and anxious. <b>"What sort of life is this?" you think.</b> " The land over there - that's where I want to be heading". But the demons down below aren't particularly interested in what you want. They want to stay out at sea. So the moment you start heading for land, they swam up onto the deck and start threatening you again. </span></blockquote>
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As soon as we start to do something new, our mind will start warning us "You might fail"; "You might get rejected". And all too often we let these warnings stop us from taking our lives in the direction we really want. <b>Rather than sail for shore, we drift at sea.</b> </span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: small;">Depending on the nature of your current situation, - you may choose to start a new relationship, pursue a new career, make some new friends, improve your physical fitness, or taking a course - but whatever meaningful changes you start to make in your life, these demons will rear their ugly heads and try to discourage you.</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">However, if you keep steering your boat toward shore (no matter how much the demons threaten you), many of them will realise they are having no effect and will give up and leave you alone. <b>And more importantly, you'll find that you will not just have demons; you'll soon encounter angels and dolphins.</b></span></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">PADALAR</span> IN THE C OF LIFE</b></span><br />
<b><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">(CHANGE MANAGEMENT TIPS)</span></span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">
P</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">urpose</span></span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Knowing what is most valuable to you gives you direction in life. You can focus the majority of your time and energy on these values.<br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDUwUjnHCaz6C0WZcmY4tni9eKBDRbrBdggrEoG2iwEEOSdAma9IXg5hy2EURgc_A5nPQNBhBdFrtUOQ13C_3hbT86xYkoZ6eNTu64NNfWDJJmqYHilm1TtFXkZCZOgd1Gsj6OIEAsuhc1/s1600/purpose.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDUwUjnHCaz6C0WZcmY4tni9eKBDRbrBdggrEoG2iwEEOSdAma9IXg5hy2EURgc_A5nPQNBhBdFrtUOQ13C_3hbT86xYkoZ6eNTu64NNfWDJJmqYHilm1TtFXkZCZOgd1Gsj6OIEAsuhc1/s640/purpose.gif" width="640" /></a><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><i>Identify your highest priorities</i></b></span></span></h3>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and relax. Imagine yourself in a favourite place where you can take a few minutes to think. The time is many years from now. You have lived a long and full life. Reflect your life from this point. What did you most enjoy experience and doing? What did you most appreciate accomplishing or having? Write your answers.</i></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><i style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><br /></b></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><i style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>
Turn your highest priorities to goals</b></i></span></h3>
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Goals are objectives you want to achieve. The difference between goals and simply dreams is that you really like to put money and time to accomplish your goals. If you want to live to a ripe old age to travel the world with old friends, your short term and medium goals can be taking care of your health, cultivating friendship and making money.</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;">A</span>ction</b></span><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">To </span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">achieve each of your short/medium/long time goals you need to identify the specific steps that you need to take in order to achieve each of them.</span><br />
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<i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">Developing an Action Plan</span></b></i></h3>
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">
Imagine that you have already achieved your goal. How would you feel, look, behave, sound? How would people around you respond to you? Now begin to work backwards from fantasized image. Ask yourself what steps you must have taken to achieve your objective.<br />
Did you need to develop new skills?<br />
How much time it will take?<br />
How did you deal with obstacles such as fear?<br />
How did you motivate yourself to keep doing?</span></i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;"><br />
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D</span>iscipline</b></span><i><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">Discipline is a set of rules that you put on yourself to reach your goals.</span><i><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">How many times have you started to do something, only to quit after a short while? How many times have you felt too weak, lazy, shy or bored to do something you promised yourself to do? With so many distractions around you, what does it take to stay focused on your goals and dreams, and what does it take to succeed? </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The answer is<b> self-discipline or self-control.</b> Anyone can develop a self-discipline. It takes time to develop, but the more you practice using self-discipline the stronger it will become. The more disciplined you become, the easier life gets. Learn <a href="http://enoughisenoughau.blogspot.com/2010/05/self-discipline.html">here</a> some strategies and techniques on how to develop self-discipline.</span></span><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;">A</span>ttitude</span></span></b><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You carry your attitude around with you, like a pair of glasses that tints your perception of the world. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Your experience, education and personality shape your attitude to everything around you. Depending on how you perceive the world, you will interpret and react differently to situations than someone who has a different view. Your tinted glasses (your attitude) will affect how you think, how you behave and even how you feel.</span></span><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;"><br />
L</span>ove</span></span></b><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Love has been defined as a "strong positive emotion", a feeling of "warm affection", and "exclusive devotion". Things can be loved, such as hobbies, places or ideas.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">Love is a very powerful emotion, capable of bringing out the best in people and the worst in people. The emotion of love is what makes a person deliriously happy or constantly heartsick. </span><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;">A</span>chieve</span></span></b><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;">R</span>esponsibility</span></b></span><br />
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<div style="text-align: right;">
Resources:<br />
Your Life - Your Responsibility. Ken B Marslew AM<br />
The Happiness Trap: Stop Struggling, Start Living. Dr Russ Harris</div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></b></span><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a href="http://www.enoughisenough.org.au/" target="_blank">Enough is Enough</a> thanks the girls who participated in our Dreamtime Divas Project and for their beautiful self portraits taken during their time at Enough is Enough .</span></b><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></b></span></div>
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<br />Enough is Enough Anti Violence Movementhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16036344541649908910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6281290728939072122.post-18742886844098846592012-06-26T12:50:00.000+10:002012-06-26T15:01:40.172+10:00Helping Your Child Deal with Grief<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">As parents, we want to protect our children from everything. Unfortunately, there is a whole world of life experience out there that we can’t control. One of the most difficult situations that every child faces eventually is grief. </span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Grief can be the result of many events such as the loss of a family member, friend or pet, separation or divorce of parents, or a move to an unfamiliar town.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">To help children cope with grief, it is first important to make sure that the children understand it is ok to grieve and every person grieves in a different manner. Just as people are different and enjoy different things, people also grieve differently and receive help and support in different ways.</span></div>
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<h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Reassure Your Child that This Is Not His Fault:</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The first thing you can do to help your child cope with grief is let him know that the death/loss is not his fault. Human nature often leads all of us to believe that there was something more that we could have done to prevent a situation. If a child feels that he is somehow responsible for the event, he can harbour unimaginable pain, guilt and anger. In this case, you need explain that you understand how he feels, but that it was absolutely not his fault and not was caused as a result of his actions.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: #990000; font-size: large;">Talk With a Child in Language He/She Can Understand:</span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Use language that reflects what the child can see, hear, touch, and feel. Provide factual information about the event to your child. </span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>If not provided with information a child may use his imagination and create unhelpful or inaccurate stories about what has happened</b>. </span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The child should be give an honest explanation of the death and the events that lead to it. Statements like “Grandmother has gone to sleep”, or “He was so sick”, are not good explanations, because children sleep and get sick. It is better to indicate that a certain organ was not functioning properly and as a result the loved one died.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;">“How do you explain death to a child?</span></b> </i>A good place to begin is with what you yourself believe about death and what comes after, says Dr Dina Hankin(2). “ You can explain while the person’s body won’t be with us anymore, their soul and memory will be.” Answer questions honesty. Vague answers often confuse children and increase their fears and uncertainty. “It’s also OK to tell a child “I don’t know” when they ask some of the tougher questions, like what is it like right before or after a person dies. “Just like anything, if you can be comfortable with it, your child probably will be as well.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Dr Hankin often helps kids come to terms with the impending death of a terminally ill sibling. She stresses that “it is important to help children create positive, lasting memories of the person who is dying.” Children may want to draw pictures for the person who is ill or just spend time with them. “Don’t put pressure on them to do it in any particular way. Just give them the opportunity to do so", she advises.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: #990000; font-size: large;">Listen and Share:</span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Take the time to listen to what your child has to say and encourage him to be open. Share a similar experience you had, how it made you feel, and how you got through it. In the event that your child’s grief stemmed from the loss of a person or pet let him know that you are sad, too. It is OK for you to cry when talking about the loss. Explain why you are crying, e.g. you miss the person. Your child has to know that he is not alone. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Remember, that you are his role model for how one goes about expressing grief. </b></span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Expressing feelings of love is extremely beneficial at a time of loss.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: #990000; font-size: large;">Find Positive Diversions:</span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Children will feel an empty gap in their lives,</b> especially if the loved one was a close member of the family. Having a picture or memorable item on hand to give to your child will help to fill that gap. It is also a good idea to have your children express their feelings. Feelings can be written down in the form of poetry or a letter. Giving your child a journal will give them a private place to store their thoughts. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Encourage physical activity or artful expression. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Help your child find ways to occupy his body and mind</b>.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You may meet some initial resistance, but in the long run, it will work wonder for him. Play with him at the park. Buy him a new art set. Help him get back into the things he enjoyed before the crisis hit.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Watch Your Child Behaviour:</span></h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8pEFSz-2GqO6NaAsBHPOhOXAdtTrDIBr6iR7mPZ_fv0ADMCiOer5lSDlk1Jz27SQALLHxQWX0HO7dyql8UeHSBLHeypb88J2UqeGrM6KdA3ZBMgqIa0naxAa4uZUR7w0_yHxeNprjQ3Xp/s1600/divorce_child_150x220.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8pEFSz-2GqO6NaAsBHPOhOXAdtTrDIBr6iR7mPZ_fv0ADMCiOer5lSDlk1Jz27SQALLHxQWX0HO7dyql8UeHSBLHeypb88J2UqeGrM6KdA3ZBMgqIa0naxAa4uZUR7w0_yHxeNprjQ3Xp/s1600/divorce_child_150x220.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Grief, depression and stress can cause behaviour changes. Keep an eye on your child’s behaviour. Early on, sadness, anger and confusion are common, expected and completely normal. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If it has been 4 weeks since the event happened and your child refuses to leave your side, this may be a red flag that he is still having an extremely hard time coping with the situation. Pay close attention to long term displays of the following behaviour: nightmares, withdrawal, anger, separation anxiety. If you are seeing a consistent pattern of these behaviours, you may want to consider professional assistance.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Actively responding to your child’s sadness with the proper love and care, will strengthen your relationship and prevent ongoing hard ships related to the event. While the child’s grief is certainly individual and personal, the child is still grieving in a family environment. While these situations are difficult to handle, they also opportunities for your family to grow closer as a unit; to learn to hurt and heal together. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Ten Lessons About Grief From Children</span></span></h2>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Teaching children about grief is an important task</b>. They need to be informed about what they may be experiencing and be assured of being loved and supported. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">At the same time, <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;">adults can learn from observing the ways children grieve because more times than not, children are just like adults in their grief, yet more honest and candid. </span></b></span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The following observations are from working with hundreds of children ages 7-16 who have lost a loved one.</span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Lesson 1:</span></b></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Some things will make you cry, even when you don’t want to cry. You weren’t really planning on crying, but the memory was too strong not to cry. It’s ok to cry, especially when you’ve got people around you crying.</span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Lesson 2:</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Sometimes you need to take a break from grieving. Learning the lessons of grief is an important task, but so is resting and having fun.</span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Lesson 3:</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Just because someone is laughing and having fun doesn’t mean they’re still not hurting. Taking breaks from our grief doesn’t mean the grief isn’t still there. Calm water on the surface doesn’t mean it’s completely calm underneath.</span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Lesson 4:</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It’s nice to know people are willing to listen to you, but it’s even nicer to have them be willing to wait until you’re ready to talk. Some people have trouble sharing their feelings. They need time to develop trust. They don’t care to let you know, until you have let them know that you care.</span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Lesson 5:</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">People who have been through like experiences of loss can communicate on a deep level, with or without words. You don’t necessarily have to hear someone talk about their pain to know it’s real, especially if you’ve experienced something similar.</span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Lesson 6:</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Not everyone wants to participate in ‘group’ activities. Just as people are different and enjoy different things, people also grieve differently and receive help and support in different ways. A favourite book or story may not mean as much to someone else as it does to you. They may find help and support in other ways.</span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Lesson 7:</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Helping children deal with their stuff will bring up your stuff. Time distances, but it doesn’t always heal. Experiencing a loss is not necessarily dealing with a loss. The adult in you may say it’s OK now, but the little child inside of you may still be hurting and need someone to understand.</span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Lesson 8:</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The most meaningful, healing moments may not be on the agenda. A lot of good work at the children’s camp is dome during lesson time, but some of the best work is done sitting by the lake, getting the courage to leap off the tower onto the zip-line, or taking that one last step that helps you reach the top of the wall, knowing that if you climbed that wall there are other walls in your life that you can climb as well.</span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Lesson 9:</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Kids are still kids. They shouldn’t want to stay up late and talk after “lights out” because they are grieving children, and grieving children are different. Not so. Grief is a part of you, but there are other parts, and that’s OK.</span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Lesson 10:</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Even though it hurts to remember, you don’t ever want to stop remembering. As the balloons launch into the sky on Sunday morning at the children’s camp, they go in search of someone we believe will always be out there whether we can see them or not, and knowing that they may find a part of them helps us recover a part of us. Seeing through tears is still seeing. Hearing in silence is still hearing. Feeling with a broken heart is still feeling. It wasn’t in our power to keep you from dying, but our memories of you will live forever.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Enough is Enough Team Spirit Support Group</span></h2>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Team Spirit </b>is a support group for children and young people who are experiencing anxiety, stress, anger, separation/divorce. It's a place for them to talk and express how they feel in a confidential and safe environment. Fun activities are based around learning effective strategies and coping skills in an interactive manner.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><span style="color: #990000;"> Call us now on 02 9542 4029</span></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b> or visit our website: <span style="color: #990000;">www.enoughisenough.org.au</span></b><b></b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">______________________________________________ </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><u>Resources:</u></b></span></div>
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1. www.parentline.org.au<br />
2. Kids and Grief, How to explain death to children by Lisa Mosckwitz Sadikman<br />
3. Michigan Network for Grieving Chidren, Understanding Children's Grief<br />
4. www.aringinfo.org, Helping Children Cope with the Death of a Loved One<br />
5. Helping Children to Cope with Grief by Kimberly Kim; http://www.gaganine.com/helping-children-to-cope-with-grief/<br />
6. How to Help a Grieving Child, http://www.dougy.org/grief-resources<br />
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</div>Enough is Enough Anti Violence Movementhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16036344541649908910noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6281290728939072122.post-74252318666873838562012-06-18T11:31:00.000+10:002012-06-18T11:30:15.516+10:00Finding a Balance in Life: The Love Equation<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidb1j9M99Ht7kpOPMny1Iv_vM2z7KiL3XfbPvhWmY8ge5elIl_-IVIp-pmaHissblKTqmkU_qVa-TlkMzAKXQhWxAQy_zfiUJpBs6ut98xOMABqHiFmOaWja0QkdAwE35FzjqpCV_WX07F/s1600/balancing-work-life-family.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="252" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidb1j9M99Ht7kpOPMny1Iv_vM2z7KiL3XfbPvhWmY8ge5elIl_-IVIp-pmaHissblKTqmkU_qVa-TlkMzAKXQhWxAQy_zfiUJpBs6ut98xOMABqHiFmOaWja0QkdAwE35FzjqpCV_WX07F/s400/balancing-work-life-family.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Think of the people you know who give love in response to negative energy that’s directed their way. There aren’t many people who respond lovingly in that situation. The ones who do are able to because they have love to give away. They know that it’s impossible to give away what they don’t have, and they’ve gone that extra mile to acquire what it is that they want to both attract and give away. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">If love and joy are what you want to give and receive, then begin by taking stock. What have you got to give away? <b>What are you giving out to the universe, and thus, what are you attracting? </b></span></blockquote>
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Remember that you can’t give away what you don’t have,</b> <b>but you can change your life by changing what’s going on inside.</b><br />
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<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Low energy attracts low energy. Low energy thoughts, such as anger, hate, shame, guilt, and fear, weaken you. And they attract more of the same. By changing your inner thoughts to the higher frequencies of love, harmony, kindness, peace, and joy, you’ll attract more of the same, and you’ll have those higher energies to give away.<br />
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<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">To begin to change what’s inside you, become more loving toward yourself. In your thoughts, cultivate an inner voice and attitude that’s 100 percent on your team. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Imagine an inner self that only supports and loves you. You might schedule a certain time of day when that’s the only thought that you allow yourself to pay attention to. Gradually this loving attitude will extend to other people. You’ll begin to receive this energy back and ultimately be able to send thoughts of love and joy to everyone and everything in your world.<br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Make a pact to remind yourself often of this secret of not being able to give away anything that you don’t have. Then work on your personal program of self-love, self-respect, and self-empowerment, and create a huge inventory of what you wish to give away. </span><br />
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<b style="font-size: medium;">If what you give is self-respect and self-love,</b> the universe will return the love and respect you’ve been radiating. It’s really so simple. As the Beatles said:<b style="color: #990000;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">“The love you take is equal to the love you make.”</span></b></blockquote>
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<div style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-size: small;">by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer </span></b></span>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;">Picture from http://www.brucesallan.com/2012/06/02/find-balance-socialmedia-life/</span></div>Enough is Enough Anti Violence Movementhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16036344541649908910noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6281290728939072122.post-32708160619091203662012-06-12T10:43:00.000+10:002012-06-12T16:42:42.247+10:00Some Tips for Teenagers Dealing with Conflict and Violence<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">This article features highlights</span> <span style="font-size: small;">from </span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">the booklet </span><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: small;">" Pull Ya Head In and Think!"</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="color: #990000;"> </span>by Kimi Alcott</span></span>, Cultural Coordinator, available to <a href="http://enoughisenough.org.au/uploads/7c2257354e31f2a62544147f58af5c629e8d8ab5.pdf" target="_blank"><b>download from our website</b></a> (PDF 5 Mb). <br /><br />This booklet is for teenagers. It talks about taking responsibility for yourself, respecting others, and <b>about the hardest job of all, <span style="font-size: large;">Being a Teenager.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Who am I?</span></span></b></h3>
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<li><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; font-size: small;">You have a right to be YOU, you don't have to be a size 8 or have the perfect hair... You are beautiful in a way that know other person can be.</span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; font-size: small;">You are here for YOUR JOURNEY, no one else's but YOURS! </span></li>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Respecting Others</span></span></b></h3>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEircFXSkspl_yWFq8SXZIN4wbLo3jzyClBzpfwAef8_aKT-vECZiK7A9sbzBcP6CLCfN_1Gf1gTLZJcEhB4LkcUuiiWwx4hkXutdjbjCk79CvU2gKr1z9m5Ll_OqxtTPir3ftmD8J06tRF7/s1600/Untitled7.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEircFXSkspl_yWFq8SXZIN4wbLo3jzyClBzpfwAef8_aKT-vECZiK7A9sbzBcP6CLCfN_1Gf1gTLZJcEhB4LkcUuiiWwx4hkXutdjbjCk79CvU2gKr1z9m5Ll_OqxtTPir3ftmD8J06tRF7/s400/Untitled7.png" width="297" /></a></div>
<ul style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Everyone such as yourself is on their own personal journey... respect that</span></li>
<br />
<li style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Respect other Cultures: </span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: small;">Australia is now Multi-cultural, other nationalities can be seen everyday. We should be proud they chose our country to live, but also we don't know why they left their homeland. Maybe their country is not safe or they escaped poverty. Look at other countries and see how they live, and understand how lucky Australia is. We can go to the shop without dodging bullets, we have fresh water and we have government support.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-size: small;"></span></li>
<li style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">What someone else thinks of you is none of your business. REALLY who CARES!</span></li>
<br />
<li style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>We are ALL unique</b>. Accept others that may be different and hope they respect us in return. </span></li>
</ul>
<h3 style="color: #990000;">
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The Journey</span></span></span></b></h3>
<span style="font-size: small;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />If I didn't travel this journey I wouldn't be the person I am today. Each time something doesn't work out I believe it wasn't meant happen this way. And I need to take another direction or path... This mightn't work for you but it does for me.</span></span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Look at life as YOUR Journey.</span></i></b></span></span></span></blockquote>
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheiuFdOHE52z8xGSQNkFc1u53uyXRNky9hVzB__UkoURbRGkLmX_7QcoqNWSAIH1LKcfVKZfWNvWpuyguig8L_mpauiFt44_2smM-deYcsWKSZ-9Fuc-gAa4-cGNyPVcJWPfK-zqSdD8fl/s1600/respect2.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheiuFdOHE52z8xGSQNkFc1u53uyXRNky9hVzB__UkoURbRGkLmX_7QcoqNWSAIH1LKcfVKZfWNvWpuyguig8L_mpauiFt44_2smM-deYcsWKSZ-9Fuc-gAa4-cGNyPVcJWPfK-zqSdD8fl/s320/respect2.png" width="225" /></a></div>
<h3 style="color: #990000;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Arguing and Anger</span></span></b></h3>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Don't get into arguments, they are a waste of time and energy. Anger is an internal killing machine. Anger does more damage to you than anyone else. Why do this to yourself? MOVE ON.</span></div>
<br />
<h3 style="color: #990000;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The Future </span></span></b></span><b><br /><span style="color: black; font-size: small;">You can do whatever You want to do, be what You want to be, but You have to take the First Step.</span></b></h3>
<ul style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Talk to someone</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Contact services</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Move forward</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Do it for YOU</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Take Your Journey</span></li>
</ul>
<br /></div>Enough is Enough Anti Violence Movementhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16036344541649908910noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6281290728939072122.post-5885786451056892862012-06-11T13:03:00.000+10:002012-06-12T15:36:26.093+10:00Life with No Violence<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwgi_AKagBH236eUhqau0qe9bAULcDu_DfvWMXNr1_uUPi0KbCGnu7a2zfS3VAeuhVxqPgfiPfwV0iV6GdwNs6CoNRP60WJvp_SAwXf_fMFx179ubfedszQqgP45au1BEhSGPTK3zLCTEa/s1600/lifewithnoviolence.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwgi_AKagBH236eUhqau0qe9bAULcDu_DfvWMXNr1_uUPi0KbCGnu7a2zfS3VAeuhVxqPgfiPfwV0iV6GdwNs6CoNRP60WJvp_SAwXf_fMFx179ubfedszQqgP45au1BEhSGPTK3zLCTEa/s200/lifewithnoviolence.png" width="200" /></a></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Have you...</span> </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Been abused in your relationship?
</span></b></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Blamed yourself?
</span></b></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Felt hopeless and alone? </span></b></span></span></blockquote>
</blockquote>
</blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">Love Control</span></b></span><span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> is a
groundbreaking film produced by Women's Health In the North, taken directly from young women's experiences of abusive relationships, showing how quickly <b>jealous and controlling behaviour</b> can escalate into full blown violence.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/_zHt7MvIA8A" width="560"></iframe>
<b><span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><b><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; font-size: large;"><br />Do you recognise a similar
situation in your life?</span></b></div>
J<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">oin our <a href="http://enoughisenough.org.au/site/45/support-groups" target="_blank">Domestic Violence Support Group</a>. You can share common experiences and receive emotional support, information, and practical help with resources. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><a href="http://enoughisenough.org.au/site/5/counselling" target="_blank">Professional counselling</a> is available.</span></span>Enough is Enough Anti Violence Movementhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16036344541649908910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6281290728939072122.post-85070577113925181592012-05-08T11:17:00.006+10:002012-06-26T16:02:03.202+10:00Traumatic Grief: What You Need to Know<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><i>General ideology held by members of our society:</i></span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<ul>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> The perception of the world as meaningful and comprehensible </span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> The view of ourselves in a positive light </span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> Belief that it can’t happen to me </span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> We make sense of the world by regarding what happens as controllable </span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> Believe we can prevent misfortune by cautious behaviours </span></li>
</ul>
</blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><b>So what happens when we are affected by an unexpected and undeserved, sudden act which shatters these preconceived ideas of our world?</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>TRAUMA</b></span></h2>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipPLOua5om-DgKzIxCAtyiABOR4EasHXfLTfRZ16KR25J4WsalMxttsdzp3J5oQw5jmHxgHIdiSca-lCSDlqZi6fd813QyNzvEHyY3b-cAg34x94hfLTxuH3-4QTKC7J82aA7jMSn_Q1QN/s1600/trauma2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="112" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipPLOua5om-DgKzIxCAtyiABOR4EasHXfLTfRZ16KR25J4WsalMxttsdzp3J5oQw5jmHxgHIdiSca-lCSDlqZi6fd813QyNzvEHyY3b-cAg34x94hfLTxuH3-4QTKC7J82aA7jMSn_Q1QN/s200/trauma2.jpg" width="200" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b>Trauma</b> is any event which can make one feel unsafe in the world, and which affects the mind and nervous system thus creating psychological harm. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span><br />
<h4>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b>Major traumatic events include: </b></span></h4>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> death of a loved one; </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> being affected by criminal activities or anti social behaviour of another person; </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> road incidents where injuries or death occur; </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> assault, robber, </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> being bullied, threatened or intimidated; </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> breakdown in relationships, etc </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> When a person is confronted with a threatening or violent situation they experience a rush of adrenaline. This is the body’s way of preparing for either fight or flight. This adrenaline rush causes a state of alertness where all the attention is focused on the immediate situation, accompanied by feeling of intense <i>fear, anxiety and/or anger.</i> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> It is not unusual for a person be become detached and calm and <i>seems to freeze.</i> The psychological term for this phenomenon is dissociation. When people suffer from dissociation they often lose all sense of self. They can lose all trust in themselves and other people. They suffer feelings of guilt, and thoughts that they should have somehow, done something to stop the event from occurring.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span><br />
<h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #990000;">Understanding Grief</span> </b></span></span></h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><b>Grief i</b>s an emotion. It is a natural attempt to make internal and external adjustments to the undesired change is one's world brought upon by loss. It is a process involving many changes over time and is experienced mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. Where the loss is sudden and unexpected there is the added ordeal of shock and disbelief which exacerbates all of the adjustments which the body has to adjust to. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> When we suffer from the loss of loved one our bodies are called upon to adapt to major changes. These changes are the same as those which occur when danger is evident and the basic instinct for survival "fight or flight" comes into force. Natural chemicals are produced which cause physiological changes in our body. These physical changes can last from a few minutes to months and can reoccur every time we are faced with a new experience which we have not had to face previously. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span><br />
<h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;">Common Symptoms of Grief</span> </span></h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">While loss affects people in different ways, many people experience the following symptoms when they’re grieving. Just remember that almost anything that you experience in the early stages of grief is normal – including feeling like you’re going crazy, feeling like you’re in a bad dream, or questioning your religious beliefs. (1)</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b>• Shock and disbelief </b>– Right after a loss, it can be hard to accept what happened. You may feel numb, have trouble believing that the loss really happened, or even deny the truth. If someone you love has died, you may keep expecting them to show up, even though you know they’re gone. </span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b>• Sadness </b>– Profound sadness is probably the most universally experienced symptom of grief. You may have feelings of emptiness, despair, yearning, or deep loneliness. You may also cry a lot or feel emotionally unstable. </span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b>• Guilt</b> – You may regret or feel guilty about things you did or didn’t say or do. You may also feel guilty about certain feelings (e.g. feeling relieved when the person died after a long, difficult illness). After a death, you may even feel guilty for not doing something to prevent the death, even if there was nothing more you could have done. </span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b>• Anger </b>– Even if the loss was nobody’s fault, you may feel angry and resentful. If you lost a loved one, you may be angry at yourself, God, the doctors, or even the person who died for abandoning you. You may feel the need to blame someone for the injustice that was done to you. </span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b>• Fear </b>– A significant loss can trigger a host of worries and fears. You may feel anxious, helpless, or insecure. You may even have panic attacks. The death of a loved one can trigger fears about your own mortality, of facing life without that person, or the responsibilities you now face alone. </span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b>• Physical symptoms</b> – We often think of grief as a strictly emotional process, but grief often involves physical problems, including fatigue, nausea, lowered immunity, weight loss or weight gain, aches and pains, and insomnia. </span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> <b>When working with people who have suffered the loss of a loved one it is important that from the first time that we meet with them we begin <span style="color: #990000;">to assist them to rebuild their sense of personal power and choice</span>. This will then help them to cope when any future trauma is experiences. </b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;">Understanding Cycles of Grief</span> </span></span></h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> Cycles of grief are individual for each person who suffers a loss. There is no set pattern to the cycles and how we handle the process will often depend on our previous learning experiences and how we have learnt to deal (or not deal) with trauma, on previous occasions.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b>• Avoidance</b> - one of the initial responses to loss is a desire to avoid acknowledgment of that loss. Shock, denial, numbness and disorganisation are all natural initial responses to severe loss. Denial allows the person time to absorb the reality of the situation slowly and thus enhance their ability to cope with the situation. It is during this stage that there is a need to know the details of how and why the situation occurred. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b> • Confrontation-</b> this is the time when we are confronted with intense grief, and move through extremes of emotions. These emotions often include: anger, guilt, yearning and despair as we begin to come to terms with the incident, trying to find some meaning to what is usually a meaningless situation. There will be times when accute grief may occur and at these times the affect can be termed as "grief spasms" which may be intense and overwhelming. Repeated review of the loss experience is common. It is at this stage that symptoms of depression usually occur. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b> • Integration</b> - during this part of the grief process the waves of intense grief get further apart and lose some of their intensity. Positive memories become more frequent, people are now able to talk about their grief and complete any unfinished business. There is the beginning of a return to and hope. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span><br />
<h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;">The Difference between Grief and Depression</span> </span></h2>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV1DWCxVpdrTluclyxJL0BqcQzG5W2M0NFTfq53RYtBdTlgLX6zFSzeqLSHQEaf7cuVnu0AThDb02N3O-S5NwQiTL3cc-zFuOR9YN829dlNbKuAxKf3dFv8GzilXfcTDqzvX2R-izPAe9r/s1600/kids_grief.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV1DWCxVpdrTluclyxJL0BqcQzG5W2M0NFTfq53RYtBdTlgLX6zFSzeqLSHQEaf7cuVnu0AThDb02N3O-S5NwQiTL3cc-zFuOR9YN829dlNbKuAxKf3dFv8GzilXfcTDqzvX2R-izPAe9r/s1600/kids_grief.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We highly recommend reading:<br />
<a href="http://enoughisenoughau.blogspot.com.au/2012/04/children-and-grief.html">Children in Grief: How to Cope with Loss</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Distinguishing between grief and clinical depression <b>isn’t always easy</b>, since they share many symptoms. However, there are ways to tell the difference. </span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;"><b>Remember</b>,</span> grief can be a roller coaster. It involves a wide variety of emotions and a mix of good and bad days. Even when you’re in the middle of the grieving process, you will have moments of pleasure or happiness. With depression, on the other hand, the feelings of emptiness and despair are constant. (1)</span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Other symptoms that suggest depression, <b>not just grief:</b> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">• Intense, pervasive sense of guilt </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">• Thoughts of suicide or a preoccupation with dying </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">• Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">• Slow speech and body movements </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">• Inability to function at work, home, and/or school </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">• Seeing or hearing things that aren’t there </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span><br />
<h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;">Can antidepressants help grief?</span> </span></h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">As a general rule, normal grief does not warrant the use of antidepressants. While medication may relieve some of the symptoms of grief, it cannot treat the cause, which is the loss itself. Furthermore, by numbing the pain that must be worked through eventually, antidepressants delay the mourning process. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span><br />
<h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;">When to seek professional help for grief</span> </span></h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">If you recognize any of the above symptoms of complicated grief or clinical depression, talk to a mental health professional right away. Left untreated, complicated grief and depression can lead to significant emotional damage, life-threatening health problems, and even suicide. But treatment can help you get better. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Contact a grief counselor or professional therapist if you:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> • Feel like life isn’t worth living</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> • Wish you had died with your loved one </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">• Blame yourself for the loss or for failing to prevent it </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">• Feel numb and disconnected from others for more than a few weeks </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">• Are having difficulty trusting others since your loss </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">• Are unable to perform your normal daily activities</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgoVw6txa1bDBPNosGb7FtV-o5Kgivb5OZdzrhh1AnOm0j2xTimaTNcGrXpZU_RXKJ3NH7yIjEqldw5IIg6hyphenhyphenOxyQDpm0bS6TzZGckLiyFOJSQiCiJ91UBCGjZQgSliEhqrOBMG4yqecs6/s1600/memory3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgoVw6txa1bDBPNosGb7FtV-o5Kgivb5OZdzrhh1AnOm0j2xTimaTNcGrXpZU_RXKJ3NH7yIjEqldw5IIg6hyphenhyphenOxyQDpm0bS6TzZGckLiyFOJSQiCiJ91UBCGjZQgSliEhqrOBMG4yqecs6/s200/memory3.jpg" width="151" /></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span><br />
<h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Healing Grief - Advice for Family and Friends</span></h2>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">• </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Simply ask them what they want, rather than giving them advice </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">• Don’t feel that you can’t talk about their loss, they will want you to. More than anything they will appreciate the chance to talk to someone who really listens and who does not judge them.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">• It is normal to be confused and to forget things, be more anxious, have trouble sleeping or eating and need time of work. They will appreciate you offers of practical or even financial support. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">• Don’t avoid them or pretend you can’t see them, talk to them, they need you to acknowledge their loss, even though this may be difficult for you to face. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">• Write them a note; Phone them; Cook them a meal </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">• Be yourself, you are their main support – it is ok to cry, laugh, share their pain. </span><br />
<h4>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b>If you are not sure what to do….ask them how you can help. </b></span></h4>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br />
<h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><b>Grief Resources on the Web:</b></span></h2>
<ul>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><a href="http://www.griefnet.org/" target="_blank">Grief Net:</a> An email based support group for all kinds of grief, loss of spouse, child, partner, parent, etc. Groups are separated by type of loss, specific groups just for kids as well. Cost is $10 a month to join a group. All discussions are monitored.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><a href="http://kidsaid.com/" target="_blank">Kids Aid:</a> a companion site to grief net for children. Also provides an email based group to join. Groups are separated by age, 12 and under and 13 to 18. Site provides kids a place to submit artwork and writings, as well as a posting board to have your questions answered.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><a href="http://www.dougy.org/" target="_blank">The Dougy Center:</a> A place for children, teens, adults and families to share their experiences with grief. List of books, DVDs and training opportunities.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><a href="http://www.groww.org/" target="_blank">Grief Recovery Online (GROWW)</a>: Grief chat room organized into different branches for specific losses. Designed to have an opportunity to talk 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. (2)</span></li>
</ul>
<h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">How We Can Help:</span></h2>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Since 1995<span dtx-highlight-backgroundcolor="magenta" id="dtx-highlighting-item"> The </span><a href="http://enoughisenough.org.au/site/5/counselling" target="_blank">Enough is Enough Counselling and Support Unit</a> has provided effective counselling and support groups services drawing from proven<span dtx-highlight-backgroundcolor="magenta" id="dtx-highlighting-item"> the</span>rapies and our own unique experience working with people in crisis to bring about healing, hope and growth for all members in our community.<br />
<br />
We provide a professional service with <a href="http://enoughisenough.org.au/site/33/counsellors">fully qualified counsellors</a> - all our Counsellors belong to professional Counselling Associations.<br />
We conduct group or individual, face to face, and telephone counselling. Counselling is available for everyone, regardless of cultural or religious background. You can be referred by an agency, a family member or friend, or refer yourself to our service.<br />
<br />
If you are in Sydney, please contact us on 02 9542 4029 for an appointment. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp_mexe3NsibYHTFxWh-eg9eCaSPXZeJ2pxkN0gsLrzcduy52vTPPtU_Olvwmqs0I3b8Gw2si605Wq-nexXr1RnYhMcpamO2xhPW3PAjnO6VJWmlStNqe1fNdizwwch1wY0EGsBAOZmF8w/s1600/trauma4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp_mexe3NsibYHTFxWh-eg9eCaSPXZeJ2pxkN0gsLrzcduy52vTPPtU_Olvwmqs0I3b8Gw2si605Wq-nexXr1RnYhMcpamO2xhPW3PAjnO6VJWmlStNqe1fNdizwwch1wY0EGsBAOZmF8w/s1600/trauma4.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We highly recommend reading:<br />
<a href="http://enoughisenoughau.blogspot.com.au/2011/06/mindfulness-meditation.html" target="_blank">M<span dtx-highlight-backgroundcolor="yellow" id="dtx-highlighting-item">in</span>dfulness as a Practice</a></td></tr>
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<h4>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Resources: </span></h4>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">(1) Coping with Grief and Loss<br />Understanding the Grieving Process ( http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">(2) Grief- Where to Get Help (http://lifework.arizona.edu/ea/articles/grief)</span>Enough is Enough Anti Violence Movementhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16036344541649908910noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6281290728939072122.post-62991290239691558582012-04-05T13:56:00.001+10:002012-05-09T16:19:25.855+10:00Seven Faces of Intention by Dr. Dyer<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRI7jrqKJEWdqThEjv96soORALA3EH2TOiqmHLwD1wQ_DNimFv3jYalORqnwrPvel4YDqPMnnK_51UY-MBzZm7QavDGkYttaHJz9bR73yTjRT3XDOBC7JRmVVKV-MSHYC_ETmfERnriHtB/s1600/fantasy_universe-normal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRI7jrqKJEWdqThEjv96soORALA3EH2TOiqmHLwD1wQ_DNimFv3jYalORqnwrPvel4YDqPMnnK_51UY-MBzZm7QavDGkYttaHJz9bR73yTjRT3XDOBC7JRmVVKV-MSHYC_ETmfERnriHtB/s320/fantasy_universe-normal.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #20124d; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">"There is a universal source of energy that is called the “power of intention.” This source – whether you call it God, the divine, or something else – is always available to us and is infinite in its possibilities. - Dr Wayne Dyer</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-weight: bold;">Seven Faces of Intention: Creativity, Kindness, Love, Beauty, Expansion, Unlimited Abundance, and Receptivity - are the keys to unlocking the power of intention in your life. </span></blockquote>
<h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>1. Creativity</b></span></h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> – Realize that there is creativity within you, and learn to recognize and appreciate your creative impulses. You don’t have to be an artist or a writer – creativity is just as important to the business person looking for the next big idea.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>“If you’ve ever felt inspired by a purpose or calling, you know the feeling of Spirit working through you. Inspired is our word for in-spirited.”</b></span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Learn to recognize this state of being in-spirited, and you’ll unlock your inner creativity.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>2. Kindness</b></span></h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> –Whether you call it karma, the law of reciprocity or the power of positive thinking, work from the belief that you’ll be rewarded for good intentions.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Dr. Dyer shares the science behind kindness in The Power of Intention. When you do something kind for someone else, their brain releases serotonin – and so does yours! Serotonin is a hormone that makes us feel good. So, every act of kindness makes two happier people in the world.</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”</b></span></blockquote>
<h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>3. Love</b></span></h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> - Think of this power of intention as the face of kindness exponentiation with the emotion of love.</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Love means a lack of judgment, a lack of anger or resentment. It means recognizing God in others.</b></span></blockquote>
<h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>4. Beauty</b></span></h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> – The face of beauty is the face of intention. </span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Learn to appreciate the beauty of everything around you.</b></span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The face of beauty is truth, honesty and a knowing that what "is" -- is exactly as it should be. You can use this power by re-framing any negative thoughts you have towards others and replace them with an appreciate (a thankfulness attitude) towards them.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>5. Expansion</b></span></h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> – Expand your awareness of what is possible. </span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Don’t set limits on yourself; instead, learn to listen to your intuition. </b></span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If you see the world as a negative and hurtful place, then you’re only ever going to experience it that way. Instead, learn to recognize your true nobility.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">“True nobility isn’t about being better than someone else, it’s about being better than you used to be.”</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>6.Unlimited Abundance</b></span></h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> – Realizing your unlimited abundance means facing down your fears and limitations. Dr. Dyer has a simple three-word suggestion for how to put this into action: </span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Act “as if”. This means acting as if the thing you want has already happened.</b></span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You were probably taught all of your life about limitations and about what is "not possible." Fortunately, this came from well-meaning people who believed in limitation and not abundance. This law does not require you to be intellectually perfect in order to receive the benefits. Believing in unlimited abundance has no downside, so why not take another look at your business life after you answer this question, "What if I could have it all?"</span><br />
<h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;">7. Receptivity</span></b></span> </span></h2>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">– <b>This means being open without judgment. </b>Being aware enough and engaged enough to see possibilities where others don’t. And most importantly, it means simply relaxing and letting the Power of Intention do its work.</span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Resources:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">http://www.selfgrowth.com</span>Enough is Enough Anti Violence Movementhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16036344541649908910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6281290728939072122.post-74146853067967823722012-03-22T16:32:00.004+11:002012-06-26T15:25:49.683+10:00Laughter<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<h4>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Laughter is such a great gift because:</span></b></h4>
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<ol>
<li><b><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Is cheap</span></b></li>
<li><b><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Requires no special skill</span></b></li>
<li><b><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Doesn't need any special equipment</span></b></li>
<li><b><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Can be done anywhere</span></b></li>
<li><b><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Is universal and common to all cultures</span></b> </li>
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<b style="color: #990000;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">and ... is proven to be a very efficient and effective way to happiness!</span></b><br />
<b style="color: #990000;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></b><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">Laughter has evolved over the last two to four million years. Over that time, it's played an important role in our social fabric and is an instinct we share with our closest cousins in the animal world - the primates.</span> <span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">What is unnervingly clear is that we are laughing far less than we used to.</span><br />
<h4>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It 's a sad waste of a great natural resource!</span></b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b> </b></span></span></h4>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Here are some quick and simple ways to get more of the joy of laughter into your life:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">1. Hang out with people that laugh!</span></span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It's infectious. Have you got a friend that makes you laugh? or may be your relatives? Make time to meet them or call. It's valuable!</span><br />
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<b style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">2. Determine your humour profile</b><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">What makes you laugh? Be honest about it. Make a list and then build up a stock of funny books and videos or films that you can watch when the need takes you. Compile a memory journal of all the funny experiences you have had. This might include funny pictures, articles or cartoons that made you laugh or just mementos of a funny situation. These memories can return you to that funny moment. It’s a great project and you can continue to add to it. It’s a wonderful resource when you’re feeling low, guaranteed to immediately lift your spirits.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">3. Laugh at yourself</span></span></b><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Notice what you do that's silly or childish and learn how to poke fun at yourself. Change perspective. Look at the situation from someone else's point of view - are you acting like a bit of a goose? Imagine the situation five years from now - does it really matter?</span></span><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">4. A weekly laughter list</span></span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Once a week, jot down five to seven things that made you laugh or were funny over the past week</span><br />
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<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>5. Practice! Practice! Practice! Discover what makes you happy and keep doing it!</b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: small;">• Spend time playing with your pets and/or children. Play is a great way to bring on laughter</span><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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• Download screensavers that make you smile — with all the time we spend sitting in front of our computers, it seems logical to use some of this time to smile.</span><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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• Avoid the news on television, radio and in the paper. If you can’t resist, finish with the cartoon section so you can have a hearty chuckle.</span><br />
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• <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-size: large;">Take 30 minutes every day and live it as if it was the last 30 minutes of your life — that sure puts things into focus.</span></b></blockquote>
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<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;">By Cris Popp, Chief Laughter Officer, Laughter Works</span></b></div>
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</div>Enough is Enough Anti Violence Movementhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16036344541649908910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6281290728939072122.post-26544120657814616862012-03-01T15:01:00.008+11:002012-05-23T10:00:16.729+10:00The “Scary Times” Success Manual<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
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<span style="font-size: small;">From time to time, economic and political events make people <i>anxious and fearful about their futures</i>. Strategies, listed in this article will help you to increase your confidence, sense of direction and capability in all areas of your personal and business lives. We hope these strategies will support your creative thinking, communications , and actions.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">1<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><b><span style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;">Forget about yourself, focus on others</span></b></span></h3>
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Uncertainty can drive people into themselves, making them feel isolated and helpless. <b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><b>The best strategy here is to go in the opposite direction, expanding your connections with others – focusing on helping them transform their negatives into positives. </b></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-size: small;">The more you contribute in this fashion, the less you will need to worry about your own situation. You will become a source of confidence for everyone else.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">2<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;"><b>Forget about your commodity, focus on your relationships</b></span></span></h3>
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<span style="font-size: small;">In uncertain times, people become frightened about the viability of their “commodities” – the things they sell and the jobs they hold. A more strategic response here is to disregard your own commodity and focus on deepening the power and possibility of all your relationships – with family, friends, team members, suppliers, clients, customers, and prospects. </span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: small;">Every time you strengthen a relationship, the viability of your commodity will increase.</span></b></blockquote>
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<span style="font-size: small;">3<span style="color: #990000;">.</span><span style="color: #990000; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;"><b>Forget about the sale, focus on creating value</b></span></span></h3>
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Most people don’t like being sold at the best of times. When the future is less certain, they turn off, hang up, and slam shut. </span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">What people want at all times is <u>value creation</u> – that is, solutions that help them eliminate their dangers, capture their opportunities, and reinforce their strengths. </span></b></blockquote>
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<span style="font-size: small;">When you focus on providing these three solutions, the sales will naturally follow.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">4.<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;"><b>Forget about your losses, focus on your opportunities</b></span></span></h3>
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Things you had and may have taken for granted sometimes disappear. Some people never get over this. They keep trying to replay their old games. </span></div>
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<b style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">A better strategy is to start an entirely new game – using new ideas, new energies, new tools, and new resources. </span></b></blockquote>
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<span style="font-size: small;">As the world changes, opportunities suddenly become available to achieve far more than you ever did in the past.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">5.<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><b><span style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;">Forget about your difficulties, focus on your progress</span></b></span></h3>
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Because of some changes, things may not be as easy as they once were. New difficulties can either defeat you or reveal new strengths. </span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">Your body’s muscles always get stronger from working against resistance. The same is true for the “muscles” in your mind, your spirit, and your character. </span></b></blockquote>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Treat this whole period of challenge as a time when you can make your greatest progress as a human being.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">6.<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;"><b>Forget about the “future”, focus on today</b></span></span></h3>
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The future is an abstraction. It doesn’t exist except as an idea. </span></div>
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<b style="color: #990000;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">The only future that has any reality is the one that you continually create for yourself through each day’s contributions, achievements, and results. </span></b></blockquote>
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<span style="font-size: small;">This is an excellent time to ignore all those experts who never saw the present circumstances coming. Focus on what you can do over the course of each 24 hours, and you will be the only expert on the future you will ever need.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">7.<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;"><b>Forget about who you are, focus on who you can be</b></span></span></h3>
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Many people define themselves by external circumstances. When these abruptly or unexpectedly change, they don’t know who they are, so they keep trying to be who they used to be. </span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">From now on, take your cues from the inside – from your dreams, ideals, values, and operating principles. </span></span></b></blockquote>
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<span style="font-size: small;">These need never change, regardless of the circumstances. Take advantage of external confusion to become self-directed, self-managed, and self-motivated.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">8.<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><b><span style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;">Forget about events, focus on your responses</span></b></span></h3>
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When things are going well, many people think they are actually in control of events. That’s why they feel so defeated and depressed when things turn bad. They think they’ve lost some fundamental ability. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><b>The most consistently successful people in the world know they can’t control events – but continually work toward greater control over their creative responses to events. </b></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Any period when things are uncertain is an excellent time to focus all of your attention and energies on being creatively responsive to all of the unpredictable events that lie ahead.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">9.<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;"><b>Forget about what’s missing, focus on what’s available</b></span></span></h3>
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When things change for the worse, many desirable resources are inevitable missing – including information, knowledge, tools, systems, personnel, and capabilities. These deficiencies can paralyse many people, who believe they can’t make decisions and take action. </span></div>
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<b style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">A strategic response is to take advantage of every resource that is immediately available in order to achieve as many small results and make as much daily progress as possible. </span></b></blockquote>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Work with every resource and opportunity at hand, and your confidence will continually grow.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">1<span style="color: #990000; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;"> Forget about your complaints, focus on your gratitude</span></b></span></span></h3>
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When times get tough, everyone has to make a fundamental decision: to complain or to be grateful. In an environment where negative sentiment is rampant, the consequences of this decision are much greater. </span></div>
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<b style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Complaining only attract negative thoughts and people. </span></b></blockquote>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Gratitude, on the other hand, creates the opportunity for the best thinking, actions, and results to emerge. Focus on everything that you are grateful for, communicate this, and open yourself each day to the best possible consequences.<br />
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<span style="color: #990000;">Resources:</span><br />
Adopted from Strategic Coach, Dan Sullivan, "The Scary Times" Success Manual</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">A</span></div>
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<br />Enough is Enough Anti Violence Movementhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16036344541649908910noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6281290728939072122.post-25913071049905333982012-01-25T09:59:00.015+11:002012-07-21T05:40:31.780+10:00Self-Compassion as a Coping Strategy During Stressful Life Events<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><b>Self-Compassion</b>, as a psychological strategy for coping with stressful life events, appeared in the psychological literature only recently with <b>Dr. Kristin Neff’s</b> (an educational psychologist in the University of Texas, the world’s foremost expert on self compassion, and the author of, “Self-Compassion: The Key to Human Happiness” ) publications in 2003.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;">Having a small son with a serious mental illness, she had to cope with such tragedy, passed through feelings of grief, despair and anger to developing a new psychological approach to <a href="http://www.enoughisenough.org.au/site/5/counselling" target="_blank">helping people</a> to deal with the most painful and stressful experiences in their lives.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">This article will inform you of </span>new strategies that focus on developing a new self-to-self relationship based on warmth and compassion. These strategies will always be under your control and can be used at any time, including the time when you lose, fail and are disappointed as well as when you win or excel.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 21px; line-height: 24px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>“You are going to have painful experiences – absolutely every one of us is – are you going to turn them into something healing or are you going to let them destroy your life?” – Dr. Kristin Neff</b></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b> </b></span></span></blockquote>
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><b>1: Developing Self-Compassion: Changing self-criticism to compassionate self correction</b></span></h2>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;">Consider your answers to these questions:</span></b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">● Are you compassionate to yourself when you lose, fail , or face disappointment as well as when you win or excel?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">● Are you kind and forgiving to yourself when you feel regret and sadness?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">● </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 24px; font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">Do you treat yourself as well as you treat your friends and family?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 18px;"> </span></span></span></blockquote>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>How do you feel if people criticise or bullying you?</b> <b>How does it feel?</b> The unpleasantness will make you feel anxious and upset because those threat emotion systems in your brain have been triggered. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">This will affect your stress systems and your stress hormone, cortisol, will increase. If the criticism is harsh and constant it may make you feel distressed and depressed. <b>Our own thoughts and images can do the same.</b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Learning to spot self-criticism and learning what to do about it will be a key issue in developing self-compassion.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Kindness involves understanding one’s difficulties and being kind and warm in the face of failure or setbacks rather than harshly judgmental and self-critical.</b></span></blockquote>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Imagine two teachers teaching a young child. One focuses on their deficits and picks on them when they make mistakes. The other teacher focuses on what the child does well and encourages the child to improve and learn from their mistakes and offers clear guidance. Which one will help the child’s confidence? Which one do you really prefer?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Compassionate self-correction</b> is about being open to all our weaknesses and limitations (remember, we did not design our brains) but with a genuine wish to improve. Compassionate self-correction is based on being open-hearted and honest about our mistakes with a genuine wish to improve and learn from them.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We need to recognize that our genuine wish is to improve.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Self-criticism</b>, on the other hand, comes from a “fear – and –anger based place”. It is concerned with punishment and is usually backwards-looking, related to things we have done in the past. The problem is that you cannot change a single moment of the past, you can only change the future.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>There are many reasons for becoming self-critical.</b> </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">One common reason is that others have been critical of us in the past and we simply take their views as accurate. We do not stop to think whether they really wanted to help us and really cared us – in fact they may just have been rather stressed people who were critical of everyone. We just go along with their criticisms of us and never stop to think if they are still reasonable and accurate.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Lots of people tend to beat themselves up and get into the habit of using self-loathing as a way to self – motivate. ”<i> If I didn’t kick myself, I’d never do anything.”</i> This view goes back to childhood where parents and teachers over-focused on the child’s errors and not on their positives. As a result, the child becomes good at self-criticism and punishment but poor at seeing their good points, self-rewarding and valuing.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>But when you stop and think about it when has name calling or accusing someone of being a “big loser” ever motivated anyone?</b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It may also be that we are trying very hard to reach a certain standard or achieve something or present ourselves in a certain way. When it does not work out as we would like this can frighten us because we might think we have let ourselves down or others will be rejecting of us.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>“Compassion and gentleness are your right when you lose, fail and are disappointed as well you win or excel.”, Dr Kristin Neff</b></span></blockquote>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Research reveals that <b><u>in comparison to self-esteem</u></b>, self-compassion is associated with greater emotional resilience, more caring behaviour in relationships and less reactive anger. “</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> With self-esteem it’s about how you measure up against others and is, by definition, focused on social comparison, “says Neff. “ You have to be cuter, smarter, faster and richer or you’ve not good enough. So many surveys have shown that Americans rate themselves as ‘above average’ or ‘superior’ on almost every task you query them about, whether it’s level of driving skill or reading speed. Feeling you’re much better than average creates a distinct sense of separation, a sense of distance, and for many it leads to narcissism. Self-esteem so often hinges on winning and is contingent on the attention and approval of others.”</span><br />
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<b><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-size: large;">2: Developing Self – Compassion: Recognizing that any experiences, no matter how painful are part of the common human experience</span></span></span></b></h2>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;">Consider your answers to these questions:</span></span></b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">● Isn’t it true that I am not the only one going through such difficult times and that all people experience things like this, or worse, at some point in their lives?</span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">● Can I feel my feelings of pain without getting lost in the drama or storyline of my situation?</span></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span></blockquote>
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">When people fail, experience loss or rejection, are humiliated, or confront other negative events, they often feel that their experience is personal and unique when, in reality, everyone experiences problems and suffering.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 18px;"><b>“When you have self-compassion and something awful happens to you,” says Neff, “you’re able to step back and say, ”Yes, it’s very difficult, what I’m going through right now, and I’m going to acknowledge and feel this grief, but there are many other people who are experiencing much greater suffering. Maybe this isn’t worth getting quite so distressed about.”</b></span></blockquote>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Realizing that one is not alone in the experience and that imperfection is part of the shared human experience reduces people’s feelings of isolation and promotes adaptive coping.</span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It is how Dr Neff is talking about her personal life journey: <br />
<i>“ ...I started to think about how all families have issues and difficulties related to their children at some point in life, even if their children are “normal” and healthy. I began to see us as just another family and my son’s illness was just one of the unique features of the fabric of our family, not a punishment or defeating disaster. I started feeling a connection with other families rather than isolation.</i>”</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-size: large;">3: Self-Compassion: Mindful Acceptance - Maintaining balance and perspective through mindfulness</span></span></b></span></h2>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Dr Neff identified <b>mindfulness</b> as a core component of self-compassion and suggested people who are able to maintain perspective in the face of stress and approach the situation with mindfulness cope more successfully.</span></span><br />
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<b><span style="color: #333333;">Mindfulness </span></b><span style="color: #333333;">is a way of paying attention to your life, on purpose, in the present moment in a non attached way. By observing, non judging or analysing thoughts and feelings, allowing them to ‘come’ and ‘go’ as they come and go. Mindfulness is an intentional way of ‘being’ in life. The present moment is emphasised – the past is in the past and the only influence we can have over the future is to live fully and consciously in the<b> ‘now’.</b></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfG0NYpUG2haPNno3-n-QSSYHQLKZA5Wf-v5o2cQcn9eys8jbKJCQNm_wlYTRDrbhsjpJPEqZ88-UlQlNKm2Poh4nX_iKs5Rqe8ByrJp-IP7Dz1oHCyvWtCiov5S5Ihoec8AnoKDZWwS2K/s1600/MINDFULNESS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfG0NYpUG2haPNno3-n-QSSYHQLKZA5Wf-v5o2cQcn9eys8jbKJCQNm_wlYTRDrbhsjpJPEqZ88-UlQlNKm2Poh4nX_iKs5Rqe8ByrJp-IP7Dz1oHCyvWtCiov5S5Ihoec8AnoKDZWwS2K/s1600/MINDFULNESS.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We highly recommend reading:<br />
<a href="http://enoughisenoughau.blogspot.com/2011/06/mindfulness-meditation.html" target="_blank">Mindfulness as a Practice</a></td></tr>
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<span style="color: #333333;">Being mindful allows us to be aware of important feelings and other problems that interfere with the daily management of life’s difficulties – this then allows us to make conscious effective decisions about life challenges. The opposite of mindfulness is ‘mindlessness’ where our thoughts and actions can limit our conscious decisions.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333;">Mindfulness takes patience and practice and takes time to develop, it is more a way of being than something you sit and do. Over time you will develop new habits and develop new skills to break free from limiting or unhelpful habits. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;">Consider your answers to these questions:</span></span></b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 115%;">Take a few minutes before you go to sleep and review your day. Ask yourself</span></span> :<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 115%;">● Where was I hard on myself?</span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 115%;"><br />
● What events (internal or external) triggered that harshness within me?</span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 115%;"><br />
● What feelings did I experience – anger, fear, disgust, shame, frustration, guilt?</span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 115%;"><br />
● What were the thoughts that triggered these emotions?</span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 115%;"><br />
● <b>And most important</b> – what beliefs do I hold that fuel these thoughts and feelings? Beliefs are the cement that holds it all together.</span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 115%;"><br />
● Finally, stop and imagine what it would feel like to be kinder on yourself in those moments when you believe you “fall short”. What happens to your energy level when you release your judgment?</span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 115%;"><br />
●Spend five minutes remembering kindnesses that occurred in the day that went well.</span></span></blockquote>
</blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Self-compassion is a skill. If you find that developing self-compassion can help you to deal with your life challenging events, we recommend you to consider taking a compassionate mind training (CMT). Results showed that CMT resulted in a significant decrease in depression, anxiety, shame, and self-attacking tendencies. Alternatively, if you would like to learn more about mindfulness or need some professional guidance please contact our <a href="http://www.enoughisenough.org.au/site/5/counselling" target="_blank">counselling unit</a> for an appointment 02 9542 4029.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;"><b>Resources:</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;">● Self – Compassion with Dr Kristin Neff, Jim Porter</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;">● Self – Compassion, Stress, and Coping, Ashley Batts Allen and Mark R. Leary</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;">● Training Our Minds in , with and for Compassion by Paul Gilbert PhD FBPsS</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;">● Why Do We Continue to Think Self-Compassion is Self-Indulgent? http://intentionalworkplace.com/2011/03/14/why-do-we-continue-to-think-self-compassion-is-self-indulgent/</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;">● What is Self-Love? It’s You Being Compassionate to You, Dr Annette</span></div>
<br /></div>Enough is Enough Anti Violence Movementhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16036344541649908910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6281290728939072122.post-9925660586080623542012-01-19T16:09:00.010+11:002012-05-23T10:09:28.362+10:00Healthy Relationships Checklist: How do you know if it’s still working?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4B_H-4rTeiP_Vszwv8dBsJtKTcdUd_-Isxu0Ny1GfqplOgtn5w_KX1bxu7gIFJJnCDHEzM6aUk_acuY_ykrQ9gC4xU1LXbyQdkvDqfritOFHLACV4-MwTcOpfd4XaI4wPq71DzqO7rjhc/s1600/How-to-End-your-Relationship.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="132" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4B_H-4rTeiP_Vszwv8dBsJtKTcdUd_-Isxu0Ny1GfqplOgtn5w_KX1bxu7gIFJJnCDHEzM6aUk_acuY_ykrQ9gC4xU1LXbyQdkvDqfritOFHLACV4-MwTcOpfd4XaI4wPq71DzqO7rjhc/s200/How-to-End-your-Relationship.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Remember the feeling when a relationship is new? </b></span></div>
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The excitement every time the phone rings, the long hours spent together that just fly by and the giggling conversations with girlfriends or good-natured teasing by mates, over how you were meant for each other.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Sometimes even the closest relationships can go wrong. But how do you know if you or your partner may need help, or when should seek help for your relationship? The glossy magazines have quizzes on how to tell if you’re in love, or if he/she loves you, but not if it’s not working.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>What can we measure our relationship against to know if it’s going in the right direction, and if it’s not what can we do?</b></span></blockquote>
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<h2>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Situations that should ring alarm bells are when your partner:</b></span></h2>
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<ul style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;">lies or is secretive constantly about where s/he is, what s/he is doing or who s/he is with</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">needs to know your detailed whereabouts every day and constantly rings to check up on you</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">tries to make you sever contact with friends or family, because really you only need him/her</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"> demeans your thoughts, feelings and other relationships</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"> questions your past constantly, yet you know very little about his/hers</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">inspects your finances and needs to know where every cent is spent, yet you have no idea how much s/he even earns</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"> constantly needs to be with you and gets angry and spiteful if you want to go anywhere with anybody else</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"> wants to pick fights or arguments with others if they look at you</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"> yells and screams and threatens you if you don’t do what s/he wants</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"> turns to physical violence then apologises, but says you ‘made him/her’ do it</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b><u>If you can tick any of the above</u>, you might need to speak to someone about your relationship and explore how to improve it - or leave it.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh73syaq14m1f132OecDUQSqLAnXcI18G_sL8Z3-HfC1w-EOAeAiSWAnwu94UmpqG7bvF5dgJSp6nrXX-SaOdX7rAEPvZazkHIPPHGOt48quC4NzCNysk8TCKXzL_L3tyl7TpudhkcXW-Aw/s1600/happiness.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh73syaq14m1f132OecDUQSqLAnXcI18G_sL8Z3-HfC1w-EOAeAiSWAnwu94UmpqG7bvF5dgJSp6nrXX-SaOdX7rAEPvZazkHIPPHGOt48quC4NzCNysk8TCKXzL_L3tyl7TpudhkcXW-Aw/s1600/happiness.png" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We highly recommend reading:<br />
<b><a href="http://enoughisenoughau.blogspot.com/2010/09/family-journey.html" target="_blank">8 Secrets to a Strong and Happy Family</a></b></td></tr>
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<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Couples often experience difficulties due to each others’ ‘baggage’ - but with commitment from both sides, these should be temporary. However where only one party is making an effort they can be insurmountable. If someone loves you they want to lift you up, make you happy, not pull you down and have you live with humiliation or violence.</span></div>
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<h4>
<span style="color: #990000; font-size: large;"><b>If you are not happy or not feeling safe and comfortable in your relationship only YOU can change this.</b></span></h4>
</blockquote>
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<div style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #990000; font-size: large;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">There are people and organisations who will be there for you, will understand you and support you. </span></b></span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-size: large;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">Please call us for the individual counselling session on 02 9542 4029 .</span></b></span></div>
<div style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large; text-align: left;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">We provide a professional service with fully qualified counsellors.</span></b></div>
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</div>Enough is Enough Anti Violence Movementhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16036344541649908910noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6281290728939072122.post-8713304876725759712011-12-15T15:55:00.011+11:002012-05-09T16:28:02.906+10:00A Special Christmas Message from Enough is Enough's Team<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8KVT_Onj8m_pzwhUe3SNdp2eDQqmSjLCd_gMzp4eUVtrq52hggrAF0ZYWIM38yCk913uX1CNbKsPF1vR5rYAfIMs7WfxmRy2I7VTy9Q_Fxu_gYs1GtXPAJ1Kxsnmc3_ELCdNoBSJc2YJ0/s1600/iStock_000010944279Small_Header.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8KVT_Onj8m_pzwhUe3SNdp2eDQqmSjLCd_gMzp4eUVtrq52hggrAF0ZYWIM38yCk913uX1CNbKsPF1vR5rYAfIMs7WfxmRy2I7VTy9Q_Fxu_gYs1GtXPAJ1Kxsnmc3_ELCdNoBSJc2YJ0/s1600/iStock_000010944279Small_Header.jpg" /></a></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="color: black;">
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
Dear Friends!<br />
<br />
The team at Enough is Enough just wanted to take a moment to wish you a very happy and safe holiday season. Peace and good will to all to you from us at Enough is Enough. Have a wonderful Christmas and a great New Year !</blockquote>
</blockquote>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>Enough is Enough Anti Violence Movementhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16036344541649908910noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6281290728939072122.post-63763769357239822762011-12-08T13:41:00.059+11:002012-03-21T13:14:35.856+11:00Christmas Holidays – The Gift We Give Ourselves<div id="fb-root"></div><script>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,'Times New Roman',serif; font-size: small;"><b>Christmas is coming........</b></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia,'Times New Roman',serif;">As the end of the year draws near, you can possibly find yourself looking forward to the end of the holiday season instead of the beginning. Maybe not everything in your life is the way you want it to be or maybe you experienced some trauma, loss or grief during this year. Maybe you live alone, and very often Christmas time is just a time of loneliness for you, when it seems that everyone in the world has someone to celebrate with – except you.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia,'Times New Roman',serif;"><br />
<br />
The truth is that Christmas offers us a wonderful opportunity to reinvent ourselves and take one small step towards a new life, a life that will be a little bit different than the life you had before. A life with more joy, appreciation, excitement and peace.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia,'Times New Roman',serif;"><br />
We might use the end of the year as a time to reflect on our own journey this year. We may ask ourselves what we loved most, what were the most difficult things and the most exciting things for us this year, what we learned and what we could have done differently. We can accept our ups and downs of the year, and decide in which area of our lives we need more attention in the coming New Year. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia,'Times New Roman',serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,'Times New Roman',serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>Magic of Christmas</b></span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,'Times New Roman',serif; font-size: large;"><b>Imagine now that this is going to be your happiest holiday season ever.</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia,'Times New Roman',serif; font-size: large;"><b><br />
Make up your mind, that a Christmas season is supposed to bring out the best in us, rather than do us in.</b></span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia,'Times New Roman',serif;"><b>With your expectations set on positive, here are some attitude adjustments to try:</b></span> </blockquote><blockquote class="tr_bq"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia,'Times New Roman',serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;">*</span> I’ll let the holidays flow, rather than trying to make them fit into a fixed schedule.</span></blockquote><blockquote class="tr_bq"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia,'Times New Roman',serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;">*</span><b> </b>I’ll remember that people are more important than things.</span> </blockquote><blockquote class="tr_bq"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia,'Times New Roman',serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;">*</span> I’ll relax my expectations for myself and others this year.</span> </blockquote><blockquote class="tr_bq"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia,'Times New Roman',serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;">*</span> I’m going to live in the present moment and enjoy each activity for itself instead of always thinking about what is ahead of me.</span> </blockquote><blockquote class="tr_bq"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia,'Times New Roman',serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: lime; font-size: x-large;">*</span></span><b> </b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia,'Times New Roman',serif;">I’m going to approach the holidays with a sense of joyful anticipation and wonder, just like I did when I was a child. <b> </b><i>(by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer)</i></span></blockquote> <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh525UjgqQy9b2v578ISMcAYZ2Ur9bUpRKM780I2ytJjlFvM1sUI3tqOsgR_1-ArKQK5ctNGjS6dyZhB1FY5l1Hu5ppMpqXTtsV-V79-wLl9w9D4hBb4Y595dB1MU8TEmEQy912_G2RQGcy/s1600/joy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh525UjgqQy9b2v578ISMcAYZ2Ur9bUpRKM780I2ytJjlFvM1sUI3tqOsgR_1-ArKQK5ctNGjS6dyZhB1FY5l1Hu5ppMpqXTtsV-V79-wLl9w9D4hBb4Y595dB1MU8TEmEQy912_G2RQGcy/s320/joy.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia,'Times New Roman',serif;">Each moment of our lives affords us a choice. You have choices of holiday celebrations. Try to find in each present moment of the holiday season something to savor and enjoy. The true meaning of the holidays is one of joy, love, peace and happiness. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></b><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,'Times New Roman',serif;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Cultivate a child-like awe and appreciation and have joyous holidays and a happy New Year!</span></b></span></td></tr>
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</table></form>Enough is Enough Anti Violence Movementhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16036344541649908910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6281290728939072122.post-47402230893029109032011-12-08T13:27:00.009+11:002012-05-23T10:11:43.376+10:00Violence in Media: Four Parental Media Monitoring Strategies<div id="fb-root">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Over the past half-century, an explosion in electronic media including television, cable television, video games, computers, the Internet, cell phones, and iPods marketed directly at the youngest children in our society, have been regarded with dismay by adults concerned about how these changes have played out in young people’s lives.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Used properly, the media can teach children many positive things about the world as well as teach them a sense of belonging and social responsibility. Child informative, high-quality educational TV content is shown to be associated with better educational outcomes and academic engagement, in opposite, viewing violence on television and playing violence video games has the potential to affect an individual child’s behaviour, psychological wellbeing and beliefs about the world. (Schmidt and Anderson research, 2007).</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">Media and Violent Behaviour</span></b></span></h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 115%;">Many children’s programs – especially the so-called classic cartoons present violence in a humorous fashion that minimized the pain and suffering of victims. As a result , when children watch this type of depiction, they may learn that violence is funny and has little negative impact on victims.</span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: black; line-height: 115%;">The news media can lead people to believe that the stories reported are closer to home, or that they happen more often than they do in real life. Violence in schools is an example of a prevalent story in the news. So prominent in fact, that adults and kids alike are afraid that violence is sure to happen in their schools. The reality, however, reveals that there is less than a one in two mission chance that a child will be injured during a violent outbreak at school.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: black; line-height: 115%;"><b>Can learning teens about bullying be presented using violence scenes?</b> </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: black; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: black; line-height: 115%;">Take a look at a 17 minute short film launched by Australian Communications Minister Stephen Conroy in Sept 2011 about the dangers of sexting and cyber bullying, with some scenes including a fight captured on a mobile phone and posted online and teenagers taking nude photographs of each other and sending them to others. The video went around the world and was watched by tens of thousands. However, an expert on bullying, Professor Kenneth Rigby of the University of South Australia, said there was a risk that rather than acting as a warning about the dangers of bullying, the video was “allowing people to revel in a violent spectacle.” (1)</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: black; line-height: 115%;"><b><u>Extensive research evidence</u> indicates that media violence can contribute to aggressive behaviour, desensitization to violence, nightmares, and fear of being harmed.</b></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What about violent video games?</b></span></span></h2>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgPryscPoML8Mg0M-VByJOUe8TY34Fmf-7yxjIpTAQoyH4w2o6rxcVE-VaQu2SMfIU0NLUhGzhq08ryU_o9TOLgLUC7y8xDPeH4hKA_8sYPSmbiAsAAb6sACMUE9ATdkciRX4AJjg8gpS6/s1600/video_games.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgPryscPoML8Mg0M-VByJOUe8TY34Fmf-7yxjIpTAQoyH4w2o6rxcVE-VaQu2SMfIU0NLUhGzhq08ryU_o9TOLgLUC7y8xDPeH4hKA_8sYPSmbiAsAAb6sACMUE9ATdkciRX4AJjg8gpS6/s1600/video_games.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><b>We recommend reading:</b></span><br />
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<a href="http://enoughisenoughau.blogspot.com/2011/05/cry-from-heart-violent-video-games-for.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">A Cry From The Heart: </span></a></div>
<div class="item-title">
<a href="http://enoughisenoughau.blogspot.com/2011/05/cry-from-heart-violent-video-games-for.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">Violent Video Games For Kids</span></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: #333333;">Pilots use flight simulators to learn to fly. Motorists use driving simulators to learn to drive. This kind of visual imagery is a very powerful learning medium. Some children are “print aversive” and thus even more receptive to visual imagery than others. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: #333333;"><br />
Prof. Dave Grossman of West Point Military Academy uses the same violent video games that our kids play with; to teach army recruits and policemen to overcome their natural reluctance to kill another human being.</span></span></div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-weight: bold; line-height: 17px;"><span style="color: #333333;">Prof. Grossman calls violent video games; “killing simulators” because they’re such an effective medium to teach someone the will and the skill to kill” They are very effective in turning human beings into compliant automatons<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 19px;">.</span></span></span></blockquote>
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<h3 style="background: white; line-height: 13.2pt;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"></span></span></h3>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: black; line-height: 115%;">An increasing amount of research is being conducted into links between online video games playing and “pathological internet misuse”. International mental health experts are considering including “video game addiction and internet addiction” in the next edition of globally recognised Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders “to encourage further study”. In the most extreme cases, teens and young adults spend up to 50 hours almost non-stop playing online computer games, even refusing to take toilet breaks. (2)</span></span><br />
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<h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>Strategies for Parents</b></span></h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM-bBy2BnaH5S7TMlYsFYO2k3gl6qM1ZmTEjuwhfLDeRrbflPLRdA-nXLvwDV2nvGvrbUHRhAy1q90mVXGP_GO2FCWhIEVhMqEdtTZAzNy857dVs6vbqhiOWP2tNbP6WJJQQnP0FoWzORo/s1600/5856190-grandparents-parents-and-children-playing-video-games-at-home.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="164" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM-bBy2BnaH5S7TMlYsFYO2k3gl6qM1ZmTEjuwhfLDeRrbflPLRdA-nXLvwDV2nvGvrbUHRhAy1q90mVXGP_GO2FCWhIEVhMqEdtTZAzNy857dVs6vbqhiOWP2tNbP6WJJQQnP0FoWzORo/s200/5856190-grandparents-parents-and-children-playing-video-games-at-home.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Parents sometimes feel overwhelmed and wonder if they are actually able to make a difference in media saturated world. </b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>The good news is that the research demonstrates that parents are actually in a very powerful position. </b></span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<h3>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><b>When parents set limits on the amount of screen time their children watch (or play), set limits on the content so that it is age-appropriate, and talk about what they see and hear, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;"><u>this is a powerful protective factor for children.</u> </span></b>(3)</span></h3>
</blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In 2001, Amy Nathanson, a researcher at The Ohio State University, published an article outlining the 3 basic ways that parents can help prevent their children from experiencing negative media effects. In past years, few studies have examined parental regulation of video game play, adding one more strategy to Nathanson’s parental monitoring.</span><br />
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<h3>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><b>1. Restrictive Mediation:</b></span></h3>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Limit-setting on amount of media</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Limit-setting on content of media</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Putting in action:</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">● Does your family have rules about how much TV may be watched (video</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">game played)?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">● Does your family have rules about when TV may be watched?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">● Can your child only watch TV when you are in the room to watch with </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">him/her?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">● As a parent, do you help your child decide what programs to watch?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">● How often does your child have to ask your permission before watching a movie or</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">DVD on TV?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">● How often do you decide what video games you may rent or buy for your child?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">● How often does your child have to ask your permission before playing video games?</span></blockquote>
<h3>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><b>2. Active Mediation:</b></span></h3>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Commenting on program(video game) contents and discussing these with children, helping them to understand what they see (play) on TV , computer, or news. Engaging the children in communication about what is being viewed.</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Putting in action:</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It is important to talk with kids about what they see and hear. Ask your child questions that help him/her think through the messages that may not be immediately apparent.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It is actually very difficult for most parents to do especially with tough issues, and require time, thought and courage. For example, after viewing a show, ask them what they think about that. Ask them why they think the show portrayed it that way. Let your children know not to be afraid to talk with you whenever they see something they don’t understand.</span></blockquote>
<h3>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><b>3. Co-viewing Mediation:</b></span></h3>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Watching together and discussing programs in general</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Putting in action:</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">How often do you watch TV together with your child?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
How often you play computer or video games with your child?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">By sharing the experience with your child, you will be able to know exactly what they are being exposed to and can talk with them about it. If you see something that may be upsetting to your child, or make them scared or confused , you can start a conversation on the subject. For younger children, you may also consider setting rules against watching TV/Playing games when you aren’t around.</span></blockquote>
<h3>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><b>4. Peripheral Monitoring Strategy:</b></span></h3>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Strategically placing game platforms in public areas such as the living room, offering them the possibility to keep an eye on their children’s gaming while doing other household chores at the same time.</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<h3>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Research suggests that the most effective parental practices are co-viewing programs with children and active mediating, while the popular practice of restrictive mediation is less effective. </span>(5)</span></h3>
</blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">As a parent, only you can decide what strategies are most appropriate for your child. Today, our kids have access to much more information than previous generations. They are likely to learn things from media that parents don’t want them to learn. Media can affect their health, behaviour and family life in negative ways. It is why it is so important to understand the negative impact of media to know how to use it properly for healthy children’s development.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Resources:</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">1. Bullying, violence, revenge: the dangers of antisocial networking laid bare for children, Stephanie Gardiner</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">2. War on Young Minds, by Bruce McDougall</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">3. Research of the Effects of Media, Douglas A.Gentile , Ph.DThe Effects of Violent Media on Children www.psychology.org.au</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">4. Talking with kids about tough issues, http://www.childrennow.org/index.php/learn/twk_news</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">5.Parental mediation of children’s video game playing: A similar construct as television mediation, by Peter Nikken</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>Enough is Enough Anti Violence Movementhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16036344541649908910noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6281290728939072122.post-70420856259453277842011-11-24T15:43:00.027+11:002012-05-23T10:15:22.685+10:00Power of Attitude of Gratitude<div id="fb-root">
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<b style="color: #990000;"><span style="font-size: large;">Gratitude</span></b> is the feeling of being thankful and it comes from the Latin words:</div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b> gratia</b> , meaning favour, charm and thanks and, </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b> gratus</b>, meaning pleasing and grateful</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Gratitude is an inspirational force that causes us to draw our attention to the good, the beautiful, and open up a host of possibilities. It is exactly what we need when we are in pain and it can help us to cope with our loss.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">It has been irrefutably proven that every emotion and every thought has a measurable frequency. Emotions and thoughts of love and gratitude resonate at a frequency that brings about balance of all the cellular functions of the body. Many studies show that practicing gratitude may be the fastest single pathway to the emotional wellbeing, long life, and prosperity.</span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Your brain can only hold one thought at a time! Choose that thought! Choose to live in “An Attitude of Gratitude”. If you are grateful for something, it is impossible to hold on to thoughts of anger, grief, and hate.</span></b></h3>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Most of us are thankful for the good health, families we love, our jobs and for our opportunity to live our lives the way we want to. Yes, it very easy to be grateful for pleasant and peaceful experiences. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">The difficulty comes in being grateful for the things that upset, offend, hurt and injure us. Grief can be the result of many events such as the loss of a family member, friend or pet, serious illness, separation or divorce, or a move to an unfamiliar town.</span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">“<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;">How can I be thankful for anything when I am grieving and in pain? I can’t begin to think about appreciation or being grateful”. </span></span></b></h3>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Nothing and no one can truly be destroyed. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">When you heat an ice cube, it turns to water. If you continue heating that water, it turns to steam. The essence of the ice cube remains; just the form is different. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Maybe not everything in our lives is the way we want it to be, but some things are wonderful, and the things that aren’t so wonderful will get better in time. Experience of emotional pain is opportunities to learn love. Even the deepest, darkest sorrows have an equal amount of joy – the sooner we find it, the sooner we experience the blessings. Developing a mental “Attitude of Gratitude” will give you inner strength that will bring you inner peace in such difficult time of your life.</span></div>
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<b>When times get tough, everyone has to make a fundamental decision: to complain or to be grateful. Focus on everything that you are grateful for, communicate this, and open yourself each day to the best possible consequences.</b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Developing Attitude of Gratitude:</b></span></h3>
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<span style="font-size: small;"> ● List three achievements you are proud of accomplishing. For each of the achievements you listed write five ways you received help from others.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">● List the three most recent act of service you have performed. Then write five ways these acts of love helped you fulfil your own inspired dreams.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">● When grieving, if anger hangs around too long in your thoughts, switch your attention to a person, place, or thing you are grateful for. Use your self-talk to change the scene: “I have this anger and rightly so, but I am choosing to be thankful for all of the help I am receiving from my friends/my family. I am truly grateful.”</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSrIpMZQlQOZskllExlUsrAj0QErWeVLurN5jAblqIVCa7nRXNF4WWIUOtRs-rBKm-iWZZXbX5IayjWC5bWVxxBEx-wljgChI0GV8kPgkSuW-RvyPqkCnqu1oRin8uNXf36CELIJk91dH_/s1600/happiness.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="146" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSrIpMZQlQOZskllExlUsrAj0QErWeVLurN5jAblqIVCa7nRXNF4WWIUOtRs-rBKm-iWZZXbX5IayjWC5bWVxxBEx-wljgChI0GV8kPgkSuW-RvyPqkCnqu1oRin8uNXf36CELIJk91dH_/s200/happiness.png" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<b><span style="font-size: small;">"Be grateful for the learning experience of loss. </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: small;">You cannot change what has happened – it has happened.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: small;">You can change the way you think about it!! </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: small;">Feel gratitude for the life-enhancing opportunity to learn and grow from this."</span></b></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"> Ken B Marslew, CEO of EIE</span></div>
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<i><b><span style="font-size: small;">Resources:</span></b></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Time to Take a Chance/ by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Grief and the Attitude of Gratitude by Joseph Burgo, PH.D.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Keep your attitude of gratitude – even during grief by Ann Ulrich Miller</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">How Gratitude Will Reduce the Pain of Grief by Lou LaGrand</span></div>
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</span></div>Enough is Enough Anti Violence Movementhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16036344541649908910noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6281290728939072122.post-6215824599907924552011-11-22T16:16:00.017+11:002012-05-23T10:15:56.199+10:00Stress and Job Burnout<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiGw4XsfaWdTl5TUm0X-ikD8VvJ7xoHOdcio9qUXDWfUGO1_vcGVmynvZbHLtO91Qlahbjt6hnrVX2YCPtkYtHT8DzdeSgVBI4BcWBAQtmpPKzFwHjJI6tv2Pbs9Rsh2SHmNhCU_sPF5Zc/s1600/extreme-jobs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiGw4XsfaWdTl5TUm0X-ikD8VvJ7xoHOdcio9qUXDWfUGO1_vcGVmynvZbHLtO91Qlahbjt6hnrVX2YCPtkYtHT8DzdeSgVBI4BcWBAQtmpPKzFwHjJI6tv2Pbs9Rsh2SHmNhCU_sPF5Zc/s200/extreme-jobs.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Burnout can manifest in many ways. It is a complex human reaction to ongoing stress, the signs and symptoms can appear the same as excessive stress but the symptoms of burnout include a more emotional response including emotional exhaustion and increasing feelings of negativity. Responses to burnout can be different for each person but the causes are common to most people. </span><br style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;" /><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
For the purpose of this article we’ll stick to the area of<b> burnout associated with the work environment. </b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><br style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;" /></b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Being able to make the connections and recognise events or issues leading to burnout is the first step. These causes can include: </span></span><br />
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<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Feeling powerless to make improvements or contribute </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Feeling unappreciated for effort or work done </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Feeling pressured to achieve at work </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Working in a conflicted environment </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Dealing with complex personal problems or conflicts outside of the work environment</span></span></li>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Once you have recognised the presence of these causes and/or the series of events that have lead to burnout you may then be able to link physical symptoms and mental stress symptoms that indicate an abnormal level of stress. </span><br style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;" /><br style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;" /><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Making decisions about work/life balance can be the first step in a self care plan which should include the three categories:</span></span><br />
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<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Physical – diet, exercise</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Mental – relaxation, meditation, breath work</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Strategic – having realistic, achievable goals & recognising limitations</span></span></li>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSSG9zdzUyf3aEAHmAFS0eQymx9qyYtsFB-R4TZBzSqeQd5doiOimH6NTpJ1IfL-yr_CZ04nE4YCUsTytrhNPxRusnfgJwphek3Uo7g1EtFX3Z5S5kKYWlR5RsJcamDAyN04U0cW2U3wXA/s1600/happiness.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSSG9zdzUyf3aEAHmAFS0eQymx9qyYtsFB-R4TZBzSqeQd5doiOimH6NTpJ1IfL-yr_CZ04nE4YCUsTytrhNPxRusnfgJwphek3Uo7g1EtFX3Z5S5kKYWlR5RsJcamDAyN04U0cW2U3wXA/s1600/happiness.png" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;">We highly recommend reading:<br />
<a href="http://enoughisenoughau.blogspot.com/2012/01/self-compassion-as-coping-strategy.html" target="_blank"><b>Self-compassion as a coping strategy<br />
during stressful life events</b></a></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Other interventions may need to be more specific or tailored for different outcomes or understanding. Counselling can help with the assessment of a person’s vulnerabilities and help with strategies for increasing awareness. Burnout can be healed in these ways.If you are experiencing any of these concerns or would like more understanding about your own situation our professional counsellors can make assessments and provide counselling. </span><br style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;" /><br style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;" /><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Please contact our office or see our <a href="http://www.enoughisenough.org.au/" target="_blank">website</a> for further information or to make an appointment. Ph: 9542 4029 or www.enoughisenough.org.au</span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>Deborah, Counsellor at Enough is Enough</i></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>Enough is Enough Anti Violence Movementhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16036344541649908910noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6281290728939072122.post-76584185289641528792011-11-14T13:58:00.022+11:002012-05-23T10:19:29.220+10:00Teaching Your Child Active Listening Skills<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikqwnHMIURbVNuLApTerBqj5K6wh2QZ0G0PKjRk-ESI52t99rkBaQTa4kKSykDZi7rex1BnQaNKzNbRUHZCstba5IA1c8s5TKkaB3OwMF9rWUYRhK2jCcyPutw4q_Mql0OLXiSk8gKOjdp/s1600/activelisteningkids.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="138" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikqwnHMIURbVNuLApTerBqj5K6wh2QZ0G0PKjRk-ESI52t99rkBaQTa4kKSykDZi7rex1BnQaNKzNbRUHZCstba5IA1c8s5TKkaB3OwMF9rWUYRhK2jCcyPutw4q_Mql0OLXiSk8gKOjdp/s200/activelisteningkids.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Active Listening</b> is one of the most important communication skills you can have. People often think that confident communication skills are about being articulate, telling a good tale or having a wide vocabulary. Yes, all of these are important, but the ability and willingness to listen to others is more important. How well you listen has a major impact on your job effectiveness, and on the quality of your relationships with others. Listening actively is required in every area of life. </span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Consider the questions below about your own listening skills and tick the answers that are relevant to you.</span></b></h3>
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<b><span style="font-size: small;">While the other person is talking, do you:</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">□ Rehearse what you are going to say?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">□ Wish they would get to the point more quickly?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">□ Interrupt?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">□ Mind-read?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">□ Judge them by appearance or accent?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">□ Filter what you already think or want to think?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">□ Daydream?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Most of us do some of these some of the time. We might think we are listening but we are not. Active listening skills are very difficult master . People whose profession is to listen have spent years being trained to do so. In a recorded counselling or therapy situation it is likely that the voice of the listener will only be heard for 10 % of the 50 minutes. The benefit to people of being able to just talk can be amazing. </span><br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">One of the best things that you as a parent can do is to become a good role model. Develop your own active listening skills. Adults and children make common listening mistakes. If you make them, your child could mimic you.</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Our two previous blog articles provide some great tools and techniques to build active listening skills for adults:</span></div>
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<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://enoughisenoughau.blogspot.com/2011/01/active-listening.html" target="_blank">Active Listening</a></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://enoughisenoughau.blogspot.com/2011/10/active-listening-as-anger-management.html" target="_blank">Active Listening as an Anger Management Technique</a> </span></li>
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<h3>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>And as a parent, </b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">you can help your child to develop active listening skills and provide your child with foundation communication skills that last a lifetime.</span></span></h3>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;">Strategies for parents</span></b></h2>
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<b><span style="font-size: small;">1. Help your child to make better choices of activities to participate in during the day</span></b></div>
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<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">Aim to develop your child's patience so he or she at least has the chance to pay attention to the person who speaks. Many studies conclude today's children suffer from a lowered attention span due to activities like TV and computer games.</span> <span style="font-size: small;"><b>Listening to action songs</b> (songs that tell your child to do something) is an example of the activities that you could organise for your child. It's always fun to dance, and if your child follows along to the words, he's exercising his listening skills. </span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: small;">2. Read to your child then have him or her talk to you about what you read</span></b></div>
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<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Interact while reading together. Before you turn the page, ask your child to predict what might happen next.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">This aims to help them to focus and teach them a briefly summarizing technique, as well as to develop their imagination.</span></div>
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<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<b><span style="font-size: small;">3. When you say something to your child throughout the day, ask your child to say his or her understanding of what you said</span></b></div>
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<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Very often, children are required to keep quite and pay attention - so-called "listening" as they associate good listening with not interrupting and not saying a word, which creates "mindless" hearing in their relationship communication. </span><span style="font-size: small;">Your goal in this exercise is to build a relationship and practice a correct response.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: small;">4. Teach your child to listen non-verbally</span></b></div>
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<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Have them maintain reasonable eye-contact with the speaker and develop other non-verbal skills such as facing you, not fidgeting, and maintaining good posture where appropriate.</span></div>
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<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Good listening skills take practice. The more your child practices, the sooner being an active listener becomes second nature! <br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b><i>Resources:</i></b> <br />
http://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/ActiveListening.htm</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Tower of Power, Joshua Uebergang, http://www.towerofpower.com.au/free/</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Active Listening Skills Improve Communication, Ranjit Das, http://www.suite101.com/</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Perfect Confidence by Jan Ferguson</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Fun Ways to Practice Listening</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Michelle McNally </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: small;">,http://www.savvysource.com/parenting/12761-fun-ways-to-practice-listening</span></div>Enough is Enough Anti Violence Movementhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16036344541649908910noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6281290728939072122.post-726441571107201662011-11-03T16:06:00.016+11:002012-07-21T05:46:41.496+10:00Don't Give Up: Your 8 Recovery Steps from Alcohol Addiction<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2yhJ1GYyQc2BEPY20DzhqVuPi5LmfWWgNBLTsES7k4wbYe0r4XrtE5M_Sd34kR0mY869nPHmymgC5YsIwi_rnJZr8hwxubbqzDmj__j5mb3sQJl-lKdOynqf8H08QvoGjhEFG_IUWXrfB/s1600/alcoholblog.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2yhJ1GYyQc2BEPY20DzhqVuPi5LmfWWgNBLTsES7k4wbYe0r4XrtE5M_Sd34kR0mY869nPHmymgC5YsIwi_rnJZr8hwxubbqzDmj__j5mb3sQJl-lKdOynqf8H08QvoGjhEFG_IUWXrfB/s1600/alcoholblog.png" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<h3>
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times, serif;"><a href="http://enoughisenoughau.blogspot.com/2010/01/how-hell-am-i-ever-going-to-stop.html"><span style="color: #336699;">How the hell am I ever going to stop!!?</span></a></span> </span></b></h3>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Want to stop drinking alcohol? </b></span><span style="font-size: small;">Overcoming an addiction to alcohol can be a long and bumpy road. At times, it may even feel impossible. But it’s not. </span><span style="font-size: small;"> <br />
<br />
With these 8 recovery tips on how to stop drinking alcohol, you will have some <b style="color: #990000;">self - help ideas </b>on how to start to make the change and where to look for help and support. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<h3>
<span style="font-size: small;">Whether you are a regular drinker or you quietly drink a six pack by yourself each night, you may have fallen into the trap of <b>alcohol abuse.</b> <b>Alcohol abuse is heavy drinking, where your drinking leads to problems—physical, mental or emotional.</b></span></h3>
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<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">On the other hand, alcohol addiction is a physical addiction or need to drink more and more. With addiction, the alcohol takes first place in your life—over family, friends, job, school and even your physical and mental health. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<br />
<h3>
<b>If you’re willing to stop drinking and to get the support you need, you <span style="color: #990000;">can</span> <span style="color: #990000;">recover</span> from alcoholism and alcohol abuse—no matter how bad the addiction or how powerless you feel<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">.</span></b></h3>
<span style="font-size: small;">
There are many things you can do to help yourself stop drinking and achieve lasting recovery.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZXIxJa0J46F1JmxUR3UNl41wiU9dpGlROZduWCdGkkDbNj05zKbCBPlsslIT7s8mHXM3fNL7wUSMW1BT_Hy2UZewjsGeAbr73Vm84ayROWn-_6IEYdX7b7d3LuJjP7jr4AgO5BPpW3w79/s1600/roadmap_193.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZXIxJa0J46F1JmxUR3UNl41wiU9dpGlROZduWCdGkkDbNj05zKbCBPlsslIT7s8mHXM3fNL7wUSMW1BT_Hy2UZewjsGeAbr73Vm84ayROWn-_6IEYdX7b7d3LuJjP7jr4AgO5BPpW3w79/s1600/roadmap_193.jpg" /></a></div>
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<h2>
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Alcohol treatment & recovery step 1: Commit to stop drinking</span></span></b></h2>
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<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">If you’re not sure if you’re ready to change or you’re struggling with the decision, it can help to think about the costs and benefits of each choice. </span></div>
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<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<b><span style="font-size: small;">Example: Evaluating the costs and benefits of drinking</span></b></div>
<div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<b><span style="font-size: small;">Is Drinking Worth The Cost?</span></b></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: small;">Benefits of drinking:</span></i></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• It helps me forget about my problems.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• I have fun when I drink.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• It’s my way of relaxing and unwinding after a stressful day. <br />
<br />
<i>Benefits of not drinking</i>:</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• My relationships would probably improve.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• I’d feel better mentally and physically.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• I’d have more time and energy for the people and activities I care about.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<i><span style="font-size: small;">Costs of drinking:</span></i></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• It has caused problems in my relationships.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• I feel depressed, anxious, and ashamed of myself.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• It gets in the way of my job performance and family responsibilities. <br />
<br />
<i>Costs of not drinking:</i></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• I’d have to find another way to deal with problems.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• I’d lose my drinking buddies.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• I would have to face the responsibilities I’ve been ignoring.</span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Make a table like the one above</b>, weighing the costs and benefits of drinking to the costs and benefits of quitting. Each list can be as long as you like. </span><span style="font-size: large;"><b> </b></span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Do the costs of drinking outweigh the benefits? If so, you may want to consider making a decision to stop drinking.</b></span></blockquote>
</div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">
<h2>
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #990000;">A</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;">lcohol treatment & recovery step 2: Set goals and prepare for change</span></span></b></h2>
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<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Once you’ve made the decision to change, the next step is establishing clear drinking goals. The more specific, realistic, and clear your goals, the better.<br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• <b>Do you want to stop drinking altogether or just cut back?</b> If your goal is to reduce your drinking, decide which days you will drink alcohol and how many drinks you will allow yourself per day. Try to commit to at least two days each week when you won’t drink at all.<br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• <b>When do you want to stop drinking or start drinking less?</b> Tomorrow? In a week? Next month? Within six months? If you’re trying to stop drinking, set a specific quit date. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">After you’ve set your goals to either stop or cut back your drinking, write down some ideas on how you can help yourself accomplish these goals and set the stage for a successful recovery from alcohol addiction.</span></div>
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<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Example #1:</b> My drinking goal</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• I will stop drinking alcohol. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• My quit date is __________. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Example #2:</b> My drinking goal</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• I will stop drinking on weekdays, starting as of __________. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• I will limit my Saturday and Sunday drinking to no more than 3 drinks per day or 5 drinks per weekend. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• After three months, I will cut back my weekend drinking even more to a maximum of 2 drinks per day and 3 drinks per weekend. </span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<b><span style="font-size: small;">Can I cut back on my drinking or do I need to stop drinking completely?</span></b></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Whether or not you can successfully cut back on your drinking depends on the severity of your drinking problem. For most people with an alcohol problem, abstinence is the safest and easiest strategy. Regular drinking can quickly turn into problem drinking, and as long as you’re drinking at all, you’re taking that risk. </span></div>
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<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>If you’re an alcoholic—which , by definition, means you aren’t able to control your drinking—it’s best to try to stop drinking entirely. </b></span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">If you’re not ready to take that step, or if you don’t have an alcohol abuse problem, but you want to cut back for personal or health reasons, the following tips can help: </span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<b><span style="font-size: small;">How to Cut Down on Your Drinking:</span></b></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• Set a drinking goal. Choose a limit for how much you will drink. Make sure your limit is not more than one drink a day if you’re a woman, or two drinks a day if you’re a man. Now write your drinking goal on a piece of paper. Put it where you can see it, such as on your refrigerator or bathroom mirror. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• Keep a "diary" of your drinking. To help you reach your goal, keep a "diary" of your drinking. For example, write down every time you have a drink for 1 week. Try to keep your diary for 3 or 4 weeks. This will show you how much you drink and when. You may be surprised. How different is your goal from the amount you drink now? <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• Watch it at home. Keep a small amount or no alcohol at home. Don't keep temptations around. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• Drink slowly. When you drink, sip your drink slowly. Take a break of 1 hour between drinks. Drink soda, water, or juice after a drink with alcohol. Do not drink on an empty stomach! Eat food when you are drinking. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• Take a break from alcohol. Pick a day or two each week when you will not drink at all. Then, try to stop drinking for 1 week. Think about how you feel physically and emotionally on these days. When you succeed and feel better, you may find it easier to cut down for good. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<i><span style="font-size: small;">Adapted from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism</span></i><b style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"></span></b></div>
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<h2>
<b><span style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;">Alcohol treatment & recovery step 3: Get support</span></b></h2>
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</blockquote>
<div style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP-MsIbFp92SwwJd_sIjRHUjzWt0u5aaqlp_1_uR1UbOYV5S7SVPyqRonace8pa_Yk2bxInvvmlEJ509pdnpPo7bU4NPUaj6320_aefV06tnYEZUTyumrLWTdRa6J2vksLeAzLWMkwSHbb/s1600/support_group_120.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="132" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP-MsIbFp92SwwJd_sIjRHUjzWt0u5aaqlp_1_uR1UbOYV5S7SVPyqRonace8pa_Yk2bxInvvmlEJ509pdnpPo7bU4NPUaj6320_aefV06tnYEZUTyumrLWTdRa6J2vksLeAzLWMkwSHbb/s200/support_group_120.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
</div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Whether you choose to go to rehab, rely on self-help programs, get therapy, or take a self-directed treatment approach, support is essential. <span style="font-size: large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Don’t try to go it alone. </b></span></span></blockquote>
<span style="font-size: small;">Recovering from alcohol addiction is much easier when you have people you can lean on for encouragement, comfort, and guidance.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Support can come from family members, friends, counsellors, other recovering alcoholics, your healthcare providers, and people from your faith community. </span></div>
<blockquote>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• <b>Lean on close friends and family</b> – Having the support of friends and family members is an invaluable asset in recovery. If you’re reluctant to turn to your loved ones because you’ve let them down before, consider going to couples counselling or family therapy. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">•<b> Build a sober social network</b> – If your previous social life revolved around drugs, you may need to make some new connections. It’s important to have sober friends who will support your recovery. Try taking a class, joining a church or a civic group, volunteering, or attending events in your community. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• <b>Consider moving in to a sober living home</b> – Sober living homes provide a safe, supportive place to live while you’re recovering from drug addiction. They are a good option if you don’t have a stable home or a drug-free living environment to go to. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• <b>Make meetings a priority </b>– Join a recovery support group and attend meetings regularly. Spending time with people who understand exactly what you’re going through can be very healing. You can also benefit from the shared experiences of the group members and learn what others have done to stay sober. </span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">
<h2>
<b><span style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;">Alcohol treatment & recovery step 4: Explore treatment options</span></b></h2>
</div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">When evaluating the many types of alcohol treatment programs, remember that everyone’s needs are different. <br />
</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<h3>
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>A quality treatment program not only addresses the alcohol abuse, it also <u>addresses the emotional pain and other life problems</u> that contribute to your addiction.</b></span></h3>
</blockquote>
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<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEituzxZdcbSHg2rgcSnj6GZ_3P-7oURdo0ywJb40EhNYBNqZJXlLGOogSdu36H9am3V57_sWXORZ1JX0R-Y9-EDy3Un_-3-rXPLGAZErbqdygGWwGPqDEEwGGm8_933Cd9sWTtZxwspXmPH/s1600/image_preview.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="139" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEituzxZdcbSHg2rgcSnj6GZ_3P-7oURdo0ywJb40EhNYBNqZJXlLGOogSdu36H9am3V57_sWXORZ1JX0R-Y9-EDy3Un_-3-rXPLGAZErbqdygGWwGPqDEEwGGm8_933Cd9sWTtZxwspXmPH/s200/image_preview.png" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">We highly recommend reading:<br />
<a href="http://enoughisenoughau.blogspot.com/2012/01/self-compassion-as-coping-strategy.html" target="_blank">Self-compassion as a coping strategy<br />
during stressful life events</a></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: small;">As you seek help for alcohol addiction, it’s also important to get treatment for any other medical or psychological issues you’re experiencing. Alcohol abuse frequently goes hand in hand with other mental health problems, including anxiety, depression, attention deficit disorder, and bipolar disorder. In many cases, the drinking is an attempt to self-medicate. When these problems co-occur, recovery depends on treating them both.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></b></span></span><br />
<h2>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;">
Alcohol treatment and recovery step 5: Get sober safely</span></b></span></span></h2>
<br />
Some people can stop drinking on their own without a doctor’s help, while others need medical supervision in order to withdraw from alcohol safely and comfortably. Which option is best for you depends on how much you’ve been drinking, how long you’ve had a problem, and other health issues you may have. </div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>Be prepared! : Withdrawing from alcohol</u></b></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
<br />
When you drink heavily and frequently, your body becomes physically dependent on alcohol and goes through withdrawal if you suddenly stop drinking. The symptoms of alcohol withdrawal range from mild to severe, and include:</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• Headache </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• Shaking </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• Sweating </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• Nausea or vomiting </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• Anxiety and restlessness </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• Stomach cramps and diarrhea </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• Trouble sleeping or concentrating </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• Elevated heart rate and blood pressure </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Alcohol withdrawal symptoms usually start within hours after you stop drinking, peak in a day or two, and improve within five days. But in some alcoholics, withdrawal is not just unpleasant—it can be life threatening.</span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Call or go to the emergency room if you experience any of the following withdrawal symptoms:</b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• severe vomiting </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• confusion and disorientation </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• fever </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• hallucinations </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• extreme agitation </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• seizures or convulsions</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">The symptoms listed above may be a sign of a severe form of alcohol withdrawal called delirium tremens, or DTs. This rare, emergency condition causes dangerous changes in the way your brain regulates your circulation and breathing, so it’s important to get to the hospital right away.</span></div>
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<h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>A</b></span></span><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">lcohol treatment & recovery step 6:</span></b><b><span style="font-size: x-large;"> Find new meaning in life</span></b></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b style="color: black;">To stay alcohol-free for the long term, you’ll need to build a new, meaningful life where drinking no longer has a place.</b></span></h3>
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<span style="font-size: small;">5 steps to a sober lifestyle</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>1. Take care of yourself. </b>Basic self-care practices are essential to alcohol recovery. To prevent mood swings and combat cravings, concentrate on eating right and getting plenty of sleep. Exercise is also key: it releases endorphins, relieves stress, and promotes emotional well-being. <br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>2. Build your support network</b>. Surround yourself with positive influences and people who make you feel good about yourself. The more you’re invested in other people and your community, the more your have to lose—which will help you stay motivated and on the recovery track. <br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>3. Develop new activities and interests</b>. Find new hobbies, volunteer activities, or work that gives you a sense of meaning and purpose. When you’re doing things you find fulfilling, you’ll feel better about yourself and drinking will hold less appeal. <br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>4. Continue treatment.</b> Your chances of staying sober improve if you are participating in a support group like Alcoholics Anonymous, have a sponsor, or are involved in therapy or an outpatient treatment program. <br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>5. Deal with stress in a healthy way</b>. Alcohol abuse is often a misguided attempt to manage stress. But there are healthier ways to keep your stress level in check, including exercising, meditating, using sensory strategies to relax, practicing simple breathing exercises, and challenging self-defeating thoughts. <br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>Alcohol treatment & recovery step 7:</b></span><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"> Plan for triggers and cravings</span></span></b></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Cravings for alcohol can be intense, particularly in the first six months after you quit drinking. Good alcohol treatment prepares your for these challenges, helping you develop new coping skills to deal with stressful situations, alcohol cravings, and social pressure to drink. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Avoiding drinking triggers:</b></span></h3>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Give yourself the best possible chance of staying sober by minimizing temptation and developing strategies for staying strong when it’s unavoidable.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">• Avoid the things that trigger your urge to drink. If certain people, places, or activities trigger a craving for alcohol, try to avoid them. This may mean making major changes to your social life, such as finding new things to do with your old drinking buddies—or even giving up those friends. <br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">•<b> Practice saying “no” to alcohol in social situations.</b> No matter how much you try to avoid alcohol, there will probably be times where you’re offered a drink. Prepare ahead for how you’ll respond, with a firm, yet polite, “no thanks.” Don’t give yourself time to start coming up with reasons why it’s okay “just this once.” <br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Le<span id="dtx-highlighting-item">a</span>rn to S<span id="dtx-highlighting-item">a</span>y NO nicely – “N.I.C.E” to s<span id="dtx-highlighting-item">a</span>y NO</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b style="color: #990000;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">N</span>: </b>S<span id="dtx-highlighting-item">a</span>y “No”. Not “m<span id="dtx-highlighting-item">a</span>ybe” or “l<span id="dtx-highlighting-item">a</span>ter”. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: #cc0000;">I</span></b>: Follow with<span id="dtx-highlighting-item"> a</span>n “I” st<span id="dtx-highlighting-item">a</span>tement: “I’m not going to .... , it is not p<span id="dtx-highlighting-item">a</span>rt of my life pl<span id="dtx-highlighting-item">a</span>n”</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: #cc0000;">C:</span></b> If pressure continues, “Ch<span id="dtx-highlighting-item">a</span>nge”. Ch<span id="dtx-highlighting-item">a</span>nge the topic. Ch<span id="dtx-highlighting-item">a</span>nge your convers<span id="dtx-highlighting-item">a</span>tion p<span id="dtx-highlighting-item">a</span>rtner. Ch<span id="dtx-highlighting-item">a</span>nge the loc<span id="dtx-highlighting-item">a</span>tion. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: #cc0000;">E:</span></b> If these str<span id="dtx-highlighting-item">a</span>tegies do not help, you need “Exit “pl<span id="dtx-highlighting-item">a</span>n. Le<span id="dtx-highlighting-item">a</span>ve<span id="dtx-highlighting-item"> a </span>b<span id="dtx-highlighting-item">a</span>d situ<span id="dtx-highlighting-item">a</span>tion immedi<span id="dtx-highlighting-item">a</span>tely. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Managing alcohol cravings:</b></span></h3>
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<span style="font-size: small;">When you’re struggling with alcohol cravings, try these strategies:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">• Talk to someone you trust: your sponsor, a supportive family member or friend, or someone from your faith community. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">• Distract yourself until the urge passes. Go for a walk, listen to music, do some housecleaning, run an errand, or tackle a quick task. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">• Remind yourself of your reasons for not drinking. When you’re craving alcohol, there’s a tendency to remember the positive effects of drinking and forget the negatives. Remind yourself that drinking won’t really make you feel better. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">• Accept the urge and ride it out, instead of trying to fight it. This is known as “urge surfing.” Think of your craving as an ocean wave that will soon crest, break, and dissipate. When you ride out the craving, without trying to battle, judge, or ignore it, you’ll see that it passes more quickly than you’d think. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>The 3 basic steps of urge surfing: </b></span></h3>
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<span style="font-size: small;">1. Take an inventory of how you experience the craving. Do this by sitting in a comfortable chair with your feet flat on the floor and your hands in a comfortable position. Take a few deep breaths and focus your attention inward. Allow your attention to wander through your body. Notice where in your body you experience the craving and what the sensations are like. Notice each area where you experience the urge, and tell yourself what you are experiencing. For example, “Let me see . . . My craving is in my mouth and nose and in my stomach.” <br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">2. Focus on one area where you are experiencing the urge. Notice the exact sensations in that area. For example, do you feel hot, cold, tingly, or numb? Are your muscles tense or relaxed? How large an area is involved? Notice the sensations and describe them to yourself. Notice the changes that occur in the sensation. “Well, my mouth feels dry and parched. There is tension in my lips and tongue. I keep swallowing. As I exhale, I can imagine the smell and tingle of booze.” <br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">3. Repeat the focusing with each part of your body that experiences the craving. Pay attention to and describe to yourself the changes that occur in the sensations. Notice how the urge comes and goes. Many people, when they urge surf, notice that after a few minutes the craving has vanished. The purpose of this exercise, however, is not to make the craving go away but to experience the craving in a new way. If you practice urge surfing, you will become familiar with your cravings and learn how to ride them out until they go away naturally. </span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: small;">Source: National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism</span></i><span style="color: #0b5394; font-size: x-large;"><b></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;"><b>Alcohol treatment & recovery step 8: Don’t give up!</b></span></h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkeGPqOcyEFF1T61FZrsMAHer8lNvK5K31EhCZBCJ8bpXG7oSvcmC-i_il0cklx-ptf-7R9KjUsuSbAcQKriR1YgQzMCNrFpHtC1DUwkhE84kj5Xm7HKaOUDRTgZTn6euHa2BFbEJ5Majv/s1600/alcohol_treatment_225.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkeGPqOcyEFF1T61FZrsMAHer8lNvK5K31EhCZBCJ8bpXG7oSvcmC-i_il0cklx-ptf-7R9KjUsuSbAcQKriR1YgQzMCNrFpHtC1DUwkhE84kj5Xm7HKaOUDRTgZTn6euHa2BFbEJ5Majv/s1600/alcohol_treatment_225.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">Changing problem drinking habits takes time, especially if your social life has revolved around alcohol or you’ve used drinking to cope with stress and numb your emotions. There is no quick and easy fix. Alcohol recovery is a process—one that often involves setbacks. <br />
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<b><span style="font-size: small;">What to do if you slip: </span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">• Get rid of the alcohol and get away from the setting where you lapsed. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">• Remind yourself that one drink or a brief lapse doesn’t have to turn into a full-blown relapse. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">• Don’t let feelings of guilt, blame, or shame keep you from getting back on track.</span><span style="font-size: small;">•</span> <span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">Call your sponsor, counsellor, or a supportive friend right away for help</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: small;">Learn from your drinking relapse:</span></b><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>Don’t give up if you relapse or slip. </b></span><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">A drinking relapse doesn’t mean you’re a failure or that you’ll never be able to reach your goal.</span></b></span></span></blockquote>
<span style="font-size: small;"> Recovery isn’t hopeless—even if you’ve relapsed many times. Each drinking relapse is an opportunity to learn and recommit to sobriety, so you’ll be less likely to relapse in the future. Think of relapse as a detour on the road to recovery, rather than a derailment. You can choose to get back on the main path and continue travelling in the direction of positive change. </span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: small;">Call us for the individual counselling session on 02 9542 4029. </span></b></div>
<div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: small;">We provide a professional service with fully qualified counsellors. </span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Source: Alcohol Addiction Treatment and Self-Help, http://www.helpguide.org/mental/alcohol_abuse_alcoholism_help_treatment_prevention.</span></div>Enough is Enough Anti Violence Movementhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16036344541649908910noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6281290728939072122.post-38023028936160305772011-10-27T15:34:00.010+11:002012-05-23T10:24:05.024+10:00Anger Management Using Active Listening Techniques<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjguoLtKRO1o6bhfVUY8tJwuWPe8So0K953pSeOELKZ0sNJT08VzCJNFblC4IvIeg6wNMYJlaiLUVpe9SS-Zuw-IdWrm9-1asn3W0DImLgn-7OWdXRLjGrglhzPPHTqTqHxC6BJT_loJif8/s1600/communication.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjguoLtKRO1o6bhfVUY8tJwuWPe8So0K953pSeOELKZ0sNJT08VzCJNFblC4IvIeg6wNMYJlaiLUVpe9SS-Zuw-IdWrm9-1asn3W0DImLgn-7OWdXRLjGrglhzPPHTqTqHxC6BJT_loJif8/s320/communication.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Communication is the greatest tool we have as human beings to deal with any situation</span></b></td></tr>
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<h2>
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Anger – one letter short of <span style="color: #990000;">D</span>anger</span></b></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Everyone has been angry and knows what anger is. We get angry when our expectations are not met – whether those expectations are about themselves, or about others. When our expectations are unmet, we revert to illusions of control, “unrealistically expecting all people to behave and all situations to turn out as we think they should”. Anger often leads us to blame others and shift aggression towards them. <br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Aggression</b> is sometimes the appropriate response to anger, as it allows us to protect ourselves and things that are important for us from harm. However, in case of overreacting, our anger can get out of control and become destructive and damaging. In this state of rage, the individual can become a danger to themselves or to others. Even the nicest people who do not see themselves as violent and would never anticipate hurting others are capable of the most awful acts if they allow themselves to become overwhelmed with rage. In fact, this is obviously what is meant by the term "losing control of one's self."<br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Your anger is a natural response to certain threats</b>. If you would like learn how to control your anger, you need to learn what triggers it in you and how anger affects you. There are many techniques to help you to handle your anger once you learn to recognize it and catch it early on.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Please check yourself:</b></span></h3>
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<span style="font-size: small;">□ Do you ever find yourself in a highly intense argument or an extremely tense situation with another person when your uncontrolled anger leads you to become extremely aggressive and even violent, to the point of no logic or reason?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">□ Do you often find yourself jumping to conclusions or to be overly critical during a heated argument?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">□ Do you control your anger or does your anger control you when you start angrily defending yourself, interrupting the other person instead listening to the other person’s side?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b style="color: #990000;">If you answered Yes at least once</b><b>, we suggest you to learn and practice Active Listening Skills as an Anger Management Technique to help you manage your anger through improving your communication skills.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Communication doesn’t always have to mean being able to talk about one’s feelings openly – it also means being able to listen intently to others. And listening is of great importance when trying to keep your anger at bay.<br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: #990000; font-size: large;">Active listening</span> is a two-way process that involves listening and responding in an empathic way, combined with the right questioning and summarizing techniques. It involves the receiver (the listener) with the sender (the speaker). The receiver in active listening process is as active as the sender.<br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><br /></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Active listening techniques will help you to understand the message the other person is trying to convey, including the unspoken message, meanings and feelings. Using active listening skills, you will avoid jumping to conclusions and overreacting, so you will be able to handle and control your own possible anger. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>
Building Active Listening Skills</b></span></h2>
<h3>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #990000;">
Step 1: Understanding what is not Active Listening</span></b></span></h3>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #990000;"><b>Remember </b></span><b><span style="color: #990000;">5 Don’ts of Listening</span> </b>that can cause the anger reaction during communication:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b style="color: #990000;">A</b></span> <b>Silent listening</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #990000;">N</span></b></span> <b>Interruptions</b> and not allowing the speaker to complete his or her thought</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #990000;">G</span></b> </span> <b>Critical response and teaching</b> – a response that expresses a form of criticism resulting from a natural tendency to judge, approve, or disapprove of a message received</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #990000;">E</span></b></span> <b>Advising</b>. It should be given when requested. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"> Before offering advice , make sure:</span></div>
<ul style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;">that other person really wants to hear your suggestions</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">the other person is ready to accept it</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">your advice is correct</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">that receiver won’t blame you if advice doesn’t work</span></li>
</ul>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #990000;">R</span></b></span> <b>Changing the subject </b>or moving in a new direction during conversation</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div>
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<br />
<h3>
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Step 2: Understanding Questioning during Active Listening</span></span></b></h3>
<span style="color: black; font-size: small;">During active listening we ask for additional information to get a clear understanding before responding. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<b>Questioning in active listening skills is more about the quality of the question. <br />
</b><br />
<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Only one question should be asked at a time and, if necessary, unclear responses should be played back to check understanding. If there is something you do not understand, then ask your partner to rephrase, restate, or repeat the statement. </span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">The two main approaches are to use <i><b>open</b></i> and <i><b>probe questions.</b></i></span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Open questions </b>are general not specific. They provide room for people to decide how they should be answered and encourage them to talk freely. <br />
Open questions help to create an atmosphere of calm, for example:</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● What do you feel about that?</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● Tell me, why do you think that happened?</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● Tell me, how did you handle that situation?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Probe questions</b> seek specific information on what has happened and why. They can:</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● show interest and encouragement: “I see, and then what?”</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● seek further information by asking “Why?” or “Why not?” or “ What do you mean?”</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● reflect views: “Have I got the right impression, do you feel that..?”</span></div>
</blockquote>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6saoOy2Ss7wPOL3q5V3qNclHok00rNbbzR4H87KW2mjGNzw0MMIxYdYCXOV-2FFxnONZ_YfGzhDm48XxtSBy7ytoGayNQkOlmER-n6S9A0qqzSJ0te8JIH7U7Sas3r2abHSe_DH69g3y9/s1600/C1FF1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6saoOy2Ss7wPOL3q5V3qNclHok00rNbbzR4H87KW2mjGNzw0MMIxYdYCXOV-2FFxnONZ_YfGzhDm48XxtSBy7ytoGayNQkOlmER-n6S9A0qqzSJ0te8JIH7U7Sas3r2abHSe_DH69g3y9/s320/C1FF1.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Combine your questioning skills with body language because it will communicate an interest towards your partner. Make good eye contact. Face your partner and show the person you are their primary concern.</span></b></td></tr>
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</blockquote>
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<h3>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Step 3: Understanding Summarizing Technique</b></span></h3>
</div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Summarizing involves rephrasing what the person has said in your own words. <br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>The secret here is “in your own words” and without adding any justification or interpretation. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><br />
</b> Summarizing is a great technique because it develops a connection and builds intimacy in your relationship. The other person hears your summary of what he or she said and knows you understand or will then restate what you do misunderstand. </span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<b><span style="font-size: small;">Here are some examples: </span></b></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Paraphrase back what the other person has said with phrases such as:</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● ” What I hear you saying is...” OR You can use a phrase like the following:</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">"I'm going to repeat in my own words what I just heard you say to make sure that I understand what you're saying. Please correct me if I misinterpret anything you've said."</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● When someone criticizes you, refrain from reacting defensively using the next steps:</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">1. Hear them out, wait until she or he finish, look for a core of truth in what they’re saying</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">2. Agree with that using summarizing technique: “It is true that I leave my clothes on the floor.”</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">3. If you do not agree with another’s person’s point of view, acknowledge nojudgmentally that your view is different from theirs: “But I disagree with you when you say...”</span></div>
</blockquote>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNBB6xsWKXskTkcjTpm1i9x3W1a93AWP_gzG41MjAX2w4ZckFny6jj1LiZpXbrQwV3CLJWUDsryj4bsUhYmZbAZP9e04RjojIMwIea61OyRuXSvzSozlHByoVBA8seZQljWEeON5IZHmgc/s1600/fwk-carpenter-fig12_019.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNBB6xsWKXskTkcjTpm1i9x3W1a93AWP_gzG41MjAX2w4ZckFny6jj1LiZpXbrQwV3CLJWUDsryj4bsUhYmZbAZP9e04RjojIMwIea61OyRuXSvzSozlHByoVBA8seZQljWEeON5IZHmgc/s320/fwk-carpenter-fig12_019.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">When someone is speaking, wait until she or he finished before you begin to speak</span></b></td></tr>
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</blockquote>
<div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<h3>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Step 4: Empathizing (empathic listening and empathic response)</b></span></h3>
</div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
Empathizing identifies with speaker’s emotions and opinions. Through empathic listening the listener lets the speaker know,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<b>“I understand your problem and how you feel about it, I am interested in what you are saying and I am not judging you.” <br />
</b><br />
<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">The listener conveys this message through words and non-verbal behaviours, including body language. The listener encourages the speaker to fully express herself or himself free of interruption, criticism or being told what to do. Empathic listening requires an actual acceptance of the speaker’s feelings, no matter how different they may be from the listener’s. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Acceptance does not mean agreement; it does not mean the listener has to agree. It simply means showing personal acceptance and concern for the speaker’s point of view: </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<b>“I understand you and I am interested in being a resource to help you resolve this problem.”</b></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<b><span style="font-size: small;">Here is some examples of empathic responses: </span></b></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● Use of brief responses like “ I see”, “Wow”, “OUCH”, “My Goodness”</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● “ I can see that really hurts”</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● “I know how important that was to you”</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● “ I think I’ve felt that way too”</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Responses like the following are <b>not empathic responses:</b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">“Don’t worry about it”</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">“It’s nothing to get so upset about”</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">“That is a silly way to feel”<br />
</span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<h3>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Step 5: Practice with your partner!</span></b></h3>
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<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Active listening does not come naturally – </b><b>it is a learned skill.</b> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">It is an active process that must be practiced and practiced. Mastering the art of active listening is similar to mastering the art of driving a car. In the beginning you learned the necessary skills, but you still really have to concentrate on every aspect of doing it, and continuing practice, driving becomes your second nature. </span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #990000;">Exercise:</span> </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">1.<b> Find a subject on which you and your partner seem to disagree</b> – a moral issue, philosophical or personal task</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></div>
</blockquote>
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<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">2. <b>A</b> makes a statement, <b>B</b> paraphrases the idea and feedback to <b>A</b> (only what <b>B</b> has heard without adding any interpretation or justification)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">3. <b>A</b> responds to <b>B</b> whether the response was accurate or what change needs to be done</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">4. <b>B</b> then summarised the revised statement or uses right questions for clarifying information, again check till <b>B</b> and <b>A</b> understands correctly</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">5. <b>B</b> and <b>A</b> can reverse role and repeat the process</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></div>
</blockquote>
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<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<b><span style="font-size: small;">Conclusion: </span></b></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">How do A and B feel? Is there A greater understanding? Do they feel better? How such techniques can be helpful in life? </span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
We would like to finish this article with the quote by David Roush, National Juveline Detention Association, which states that active listening may not just clarify thinking and provide a necessary emotional release, but facilitates problem - solving :<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">"When in doubt about what to do, use active listening." </span></b></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: right;">
<b><br />
Resources:</b></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: right;">
<i>Controlling Anger: Tips, Techniques, and Resources</i> , http://www.squidoo.com/anger-management-resources#module46941432</div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: right;">
<i>Consequences Of Anger</i>, by Swami Sivananda</div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: right;">
<i>Rage and Its Consequences</i>, by Allan N. Schwartz, LCSW, Ph.D.</div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: right;">
<i>Guidelines for Empathic Listening</i> by Richard Salem</div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: right;">
<i>Manage your Anger by Learning to Communicate Better</i>, http://www.angermanagementstrategies.com/Learning-Better-Communication-Techniques.html</div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: right;">
Roush, D.W. (1996) Desktop guide to good juvenile detention practice. National Juvenile Detention Association. pp.133-134</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>Enough is Enough Anti Violence Movementhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16036344541649908910noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6281290728939072122.post-22164515434227186822011-10-17T10:14:00.054+11:002012-06-26T15:02:36.201+10:00Active Parenting<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken adults.” Frederick Douglass</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><span style="color: #990000;">Active Parenting - Parenting with purpose and by example</span></b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We live in an increasingly complex world that challenges us every day with a wide range of issues and challenges that can be difficult for children to understand, cope and survive. Children are always looking for proper training and help from their parents. But when it is not made available, children get carried away by other things that happen in the society which may leave a negative impact on their future. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Active Parenting</b> is a term describing a successful parenting strategy relating to adolescents.<b><span style="font-size: large;"> </span>The main purpose</b> is to raise responsible, cooperative children, who are able to resist negative peer pressure and successfully face the challenges of the 21st century. <br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What challenges? :</span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Drug & Alcohol Use</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Sexuality (HIV/AIDS)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Violence and Terrorism</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Technological Changes</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Changing Job Markets</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Changing Family and Social Structures</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">What They See on TV News</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Accidents & Disasters</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Sickness & Death</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It's your responsibility as a parent to prepare your children to become responsible adults and survive in this world without your intervention.</span></b><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Active Parenting can be learnt by reading articles, books and by attending workshops conducted by many organisations. These organisations conduct programs for active parenting in detail about each aspect of active parenting. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">This article will give you guidance in Active Parenting for raising successful and resilient young people. </span><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<blockquote>
<div style="color: black;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>The Active Parenting Strategy aims to:</b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: small;">1.Use positive discipline techniques to teach responsibility for their actions</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: small;">2. Build resilience and self-discipline in adolescents to navigate life’s challenges</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: small;">3. Help to develop cooperation and self-esteem</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: small;">4. Reinforce adolescent’s courage and inner strength</span><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #990000;"><span style="color: black;"></span></span></span></span></b></div>
</blockquote>
<h2>
<b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #990000;"><span style="color: black;">5 Building Blocks of Active Parenting</span></span></span></span></b></h2>
<span style="color: black; font-size: small;"></span><br />
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<b><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;">1. Creating and Confirming Boundaries</span></b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><b></b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><b>Yours rules and structure give your child a framework for understanding the world, even if he protests. </b></span></span></blockquote>
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">The most resilient families develop broad boundaries that help children understand what is expected from them in the home, at school and in the community. These boundaries help children develop values about what is right and wrong. It takes a while for children to have these values internalised. That means that they don’t have to check with an adult if something is right or wrong. They understand why certain rules are in place and why it’s important to follow them. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><br />
<b>Communicating the Boundaries </b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">
It could be useful for families to have these principles written up and displayed. Many children will have experience of this in their schools, where school rules are prominently displayed in classrooms. Use a family meeting to explain what the boundaries or family rules will be. Give a short explanation of why they are important (try not to give long lectures).</span></span><br />
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<b>Think about Consequences </b></span></span><br />
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Explain what will happen if boundaries are crossed. Each behaviour must have a consequence that is natural or logical. Many times it is enough to tell them not behave in a particular way without saying much more. Parents can be very creative during this process. The most important thing that children learn is that when they break the rules, something happens that teaches them not to do it again.</span></span> <br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i><b>Putting in action: </b></i></span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">Parents need to set clear expectations for behaviour, establish rules about communicating where and with whom their teenagers are spending their time. By communicating your expectations and consequences, your adolescent cannot claim they “did not know” that you would be upset. These boundaries need to be included in your teenager's internet use.</span></blockquote>
<span style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: 115%;">2. </span><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: 115%;">Talk with your kids before everyone else does</span></b></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><br />
<span style="color: #990000;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><u><span style="color: black;">Talk with your kids about:</span></u></span></span></b><br />
● Safe Sex and Relationships<br />
● <a href="http://enoughisenoughau.blogspot.com/2011/08/online-safety.html">Online Safety</a><br />
● Drugs and Alcohol<br />
●<a href="http://enoughisenoughau.blogspot.com/2011/10/peer-pressure-and-risk-taking.html"> Negative Peer Pressure</a><br />
● <a href="http://enoughisenoughau.blogspot.com/2011/09/staying-safe-tips-for-teens-and-adults.html">Staying Safe and Risk Taking</a><br />
● <a href="http://enoughisenoughau.blogspot.com/2011/05/child-protective-behaviours.html">Violence and Protective Behaviour</a><br />
● What they see on TV News<br />
● HIV/AIDS<br />
● Accidents and Disasters<br />
● Sickness and Death<br />
● Divorce</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">
● Terrorism</span></span></span> <br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><i></i></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>3. Develop the Mindset of Resilient Children and Adolescents</b></span> </div>
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<b><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">“Resilience is the ability to bounce back and keep going in the face of adversity.” Jacque Pollock</span></b></blockquote>
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">Feeling loved, special and appreciated is a cornerstone of a child’s resilient mindset. Resilient children and adolescents are hopeful and posses high self-worth. They learn to solve problems and to view mistakes as experiences from which to learn. <b>They learn to focus on what they have control over rather than on what they can little influence. </b>They set realistic goals and expectations for themselves and those around them.<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></span></span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Accept your children for who they are and not what you want them to be.</span></b> </blockquote>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">Many children believe that they are accepted and loved only when they do not make mistakes and fail. Become upset that they do not meet standards set by their parents children begin to believe that their mistakes are testimony to their incompetence and must be avoided at all costs. </span></blockquote>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i><b>Putting in action: </b></i></span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">When your child makes a mistake or when something doesn’t go right, how does he react and handle the situation? </span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">When some thing ( a plan, a project, a relationship, a situation) does not go the way you want it to go, what is the first question most people ask? <b>WHY ME?</b> This is the wrong question! What happens when you ask the wrong question? Yes! You get the wrong answer and a lot of negative feedback. </span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">What then would be the right question? <b>WHAT CAN I LEARN FROM WHAT JUST HAPPENED?</b> And you get a completely different interpretation back – and a positive lesson can be learnt.</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;"><u>4 principles</u> can guide you in helping your children become comfortable with the role that mistakes play in one’s life:<br />
1. Serve yourself as a model for dealing with mistakes and learning from them with the questions “What can I do differently?”, “What can I do to improve?”<br />
2. Comments to react on mistakes should be free of anger and sarcasm. There not be statements that reinforce a negative mindset such as: Why don’t you use your brain?<br />
3. Mistakes are not only accepted but also expected</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">
4. Mistakes are a natural part of life</span></span></span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Another important factor in developing resilience in children is <b><span style="font-size: large;">teaching them to make choices and think about consequences of their choices. </span></b>Start to provide kids with simple choices at an early age. : Do you want.....or..... for dinner? Do you want wear.... or....? Do you want to play....or...? It is your choice. By providing them with simple choices we are building a solid foundation for problem solving and making decisions. </span></span></span><br />
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Helping your kids to find their own strengths and reinforcing each child or adolescent’s <b>“islands of competence</b>" is important factor that help them to understand and Know Who You Are. </span></span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><b>A strong sense of self is the foundation of personal resilience. </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Teach them not define yourself by what someone else thinks about them, but have the right to be Who Are You and Who You Want to BE. </b></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>4. Develop Responsibility: Chores or Contributions?</b></span> </span></div>
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<b><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Teaching children to be accountable for their actions and to feel a sense of responsibility is necessary if they are ever to be prepared for adult living. </span></b></blockquote>
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Robert Brooks, Ph. D, suggests that the most effective says of teaching responsibility and compassion to our kids and youth is to create opportunities for them to help others. By so doing parents communicate the message, <b>”We believe in you and we believe you have a great deal to offer your world."</b> It is truly one of the most important messages parents can transmit as parents in preparing children for the challenges they will confront in their adult lives. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">This message came from his research when he asked adults to describe one of the fondest memories of school, a memory in which a teacher said or did something that enhanced their self-esteem. What do you think was the most common positive memory from this survey? The answer was when a student was asked to contribute in some manner to the school environment.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">/”The teacher had me sit and do spelling with the second graders, once I’d shown some ability in this subject.”. “My teacher asked me to tutor a senior who was about to “not graduate” because she was failing English grammar. I was in 10th grade.” What is your “positive memory’? Who was that great teacher? <b>Positive expectations can help develop responsible young people.</b></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Very often the label that we use to describe responsibilities is one that unfortunately is associated with negative connotations. <b>That label is “chores.”</b> Children are often told, “Remember, you must do your chores!” Whatever labels we provide will not erase the negative feelings associated with being asked to do what youngsters consider such unimportant tasks as cleaning one’s room, making the bed, or clearing the table, however , guided by the notion that children wish to help, parents might create an attitude of responsibility what would last a lifetime so that even if children did not always remember to do their chores, we could be assured that they were developing into responsible and compassionate people. </span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><b>Putting in action:</b></i></span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Ask yourself: “Am I providing opportunities for my children to be helpful and to learn that their actions make a positive difference in the lives of others?”</span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: 115%;">5. </span></b><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: 115%;">Active Parenting is Empathic Parenting</span></b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7yLUzlzhVPT_XhfRhYMhQIjIPBDB8fOABDx_IMyHNE3iYm1dV28rqLyktvM-oHxVEEuFjyf78-n9tQu2QHX2ZrpfksXp_ZDkaWGTZNCcv1XA-Pdu7PPZONWfEImJNGuJ_o3-f3iK0NQMm/s1600/empathy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7yLUzlzhVPT_XhfRhYMhQIjIPBDB8fOABDx_IMyHNE3iYm1dV28rqLyktvM-oHxVEEuFjyf78-n9tQu2QHX2ZrpfksXp_ZDkaWGTZNCcv1XA-Pdu7PPZONWfEImJNGuJ_o3-f3iK0NQMm/s1600/empathy.jpg" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Empathy, the ability to be aware and understand what another person feels, is first learned at home. </span></b></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The ability to see the world through your children’s eyes and be empathic is essential for raising emotional healthy kids. Statements like as “You must be feeling angry or sad right now “ telling that you don’t have to agree with everything they do but try to appreciate their point of view as a bridge to begin every communication and as a foundation for them to listen and learn from you. When you interact with your children you should always consider whether you are saying things in a way that will allow them to be receptive to listening to you. If you interrupt. put them down, tell them how they should be feeling or use absolutes such as always or never in a critical way they are likely to become angry and tune you out. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="color: black;"><b>Emotional ownership is a key part of Empathic Parenting.</b> This means that I am responsible for my own emotions; no-one else controls how I feel. This also means I allow and teach my child to own his emotions by not trying to control how he feels. Empathy means showing understanding and support for his right to have his emotions and not trying to change them. </span></span><br />
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<b><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Putting in action:</i></span></b><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Saying to your child, ”I know that you’re upset that the toy is gone” is an empathic statement that is not judgmental, thereby lessening the probability that your child will become defensive. Telling them “ I told you so” or punishing them is likely to lead to anger rather than learning. Buying them a new toy is also counterproductive since it does not permit them to experience the consequences of their behaviour. If children do not realize that there are consequences to their actions, they will have difficulty developing self-discipline. </span></blockquote>
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<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: right;">
<i><u><b><span style="font-size: x-small;">Resources:</span></b></u></i></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">National Strategy for Young Australians</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Teaching your child empathic awareness by Denise Seastrunk</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">25 Nonviolent discipline options by Pam Kemp</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Raising a Self Disciplined Child by Dr. Robert Brooks, Ph.D</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Raising Resilient Children and Adolescents by Dr. Robert Brooks, Ph. D</span></div>
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</div>Enough is Enough Anti Violence Movementhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16036344541649908910noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6281290728939072122.post-21099180150124950272011-10-14T14:16:00.025+11:002012-05-09T16:39:34.357+10:00Stress Management Strategies<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoQ9tIgPGJBWFfaY-y-GfCy68CP58UdMpMnGpvHmYXNjgNjGAQgPyf1_jMZA_PfjCYzmF9ruDeeY2su6WLRzgy2SA3X5YZLbDDzLV5KPibcEk7yD3RNs63eS6QYnQIj04X2n-M0Y1K3UDw/s1600/relationship_help_193.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoQ9tIgPGJBWFfaY-y-GfCy68CP58UdMpMnGpvHmYXNjgNjGAQgPyf1_jMZA_PfjCYzmF9ruDeeY2su6WLRzgy2SA3X5YZLbDDzLV5KPibcEk7yD3RNs63eS6QYnQIj04X2n-M0Y1K3UDw/s1600/relationship_help_193.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><h4>
<b><span style="color: black; font-size: x-small;">Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace.</span></b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"> ~Joan Borysenko</span></span></h4>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Stress takes a heavy toll on mental and emotional health, so it’s important to keep it under control. While not all stressors can be avoided, stress management strategies can help you brings things back into balance.</span></span><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></b><br />
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<h3>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: large;">Generally, to deal with any type of stressful situation you have 2 choices:</span></span></b></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: large;">1st Choice: Change the situation - </span></span><br />
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<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Stress management strategy #1: Avoid unnecessary stress</span><span style="color: #c00000; line-height: 115%;"> <br />
</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #c00000; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">Stress management strategy #2: Alter the stressor</span></span></li>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">2nd Choice: Change your reaction</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"></span> -</blockquote>
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<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Stress management strategy #3: </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">A</span><span style="line-height: 115%;">dapt to the stressor</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> <br />
</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Stress management strategy #4: </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">A</span><span style="line-height: 115%;">ccept the stressor</span></span></li>
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<h2>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="line-height: 115%;">Stress management strategy #1: Avoid unnecessary stress</span></b></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Not all stress can be avoided, and it’s not healthy to avoid a situation that needs to be addressed. </span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-size: large;"><b>You may be surprised, however, by the number of stressors in your life that you can eliminate.</b></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b> </b></span></blockquote>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjimAkbsKYutx5CnNcXwTOl-tSIfW0jpM7d3MiUJPGlJsPz9swjBLq0Gy7eWOPN-9ZXfA4-IApL4uX6sEdSAwd7j_d9Rzg9ZLFPy3JXrwssXTkYxT2DYfSbUQxruLhJfp8ted-KtcqSCX2h/s1600/roadmap_193.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjimAkbsKYutx5CnNcXwTOl-tSIfW0jpM7d3MiUJPGlJsPz9swjBLq0Gy7eWOPN-9ZXfA4-IApL4uX6sEdSAwd7j_d9Rzg9ZLFPy3JXrwssXTkYxT2DYfSbUQxruLhJfp8ted-KtcqSCX2h/s1600/roadmap_193.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We highly recommend reading:</span><br style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;" /><b><a href="http://enoughisenoughau.blogspot.com/2011/09/stress-management.html" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;" target="_blank">Stress Management: <br />
Finding the relaxation that work for you</a></b></span></td></tr>
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<ol>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Learn how to say “no”</b> – Know your limits and stick to them. Whether in your personal or professional life, refuse to accept added responsibilities when you are close to reaching them. Taking on more than you can handle is a surfier recipe for stress.</span><div style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span id="dtx-highlighting-item">Learn </span><span id="dtx-highlighting-item">to </span><span id="dtx-highlighting-item">Say </span><span id="dtx-highlighting-item">NO </span><span id="dtx-highlighting-item">nicely </span><span id="dtx-highlighting-item">– </span>“N.I.C.E”</b></span><b><span id="dtx-highlighting-item"> to </span><span id="dtx-highlighting-item">say </span><span id="dtx-highlighting-item">NO</span></b></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span></span><blockquote style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b style="color: #990000;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">N</span>:</b><span id="dtx-highlighting-item"> Say </span>“<span id="dtx-highlighting-item">No</span>”.<span id="dtx-highlighting-item"> No</span>t “maybe” or “later”. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: #cc0000;">I</span></b>: Follow with an “I” statement: “I’m<span id="dtx-highlighting-item"> no</span>t going<span id="dtx-highlighting-item"> to </span>.... , it is<span id="dtx-highlighting-item"> no</span>t part of my life plan”</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: #cc0000;">C:</span></b>If pressure continues, “Change”. Change the<span id="dtx-highlighting-item"> to</span>pic. Change your conversation partner. Change the location. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: #cc0000;">E:</span></b>If these strategies do<span id="dtx-highlighting-item"> no</span>t help, you need “Exit “plan. Leave a bad situation immediately. </span></div>
</blockquote>
</li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Avoid people who stress you out</b> – If someone consistently causes stress in your life and you can’t turn the relationship around, limit the amount of time you spend with that person or end the relationship entirely.<br />
<br />
</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Take control of your environment</b> – If the evening news makes you anxious, turn the TV off. If traffic’s got you tense, take a longer but less-traveled route. If going to the market is an unpleasant chore, do your grocery shopping online.<br />
<br />
</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Avoid hot-button topics</b> – If you get upset over religion or politics, cross them off your conversation list. If you repeatedly argue about the same subject with the same people, stop bringing it up or excuse yourself when it’s the topic of discussion.<br />
<br />
</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Pare down your to-do list</b> – Analyze your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. If you’ve got too much on your plate, distinguish between the ‘shoulds’ and the ‘musts’. Drop tasks that aren’t truly necessary to the bottom of the list or eliminate them entirely.</span></li>
</ol>
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<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="line-height: 115%;">Stress management strategy #2: Alter the situation</span></b></span></h2>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUpcFOLW2PoGA7AgxccRdDOSRij8Yt8BxYe54u0EuJmYhcP77ByT_-8SVwxidI3tGTu3NaUHVHCd9MrfPcPoTASLIRhb36dXgHs9zL2MDO2SVP93omJMM0IWcF3Unck_LG5nPLl2FSX3GM/s1600/difficult-people-fight-de.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUpcFOLW2PoGA7AgxccRdDOSRij8Yt8BxYe54u0EuJmYhcP77ByT_-8SVwxidI3tGTu3NaUHVHCd9MrfPcPoTASLIRhb36dXgHs9zL2MDO2SVP93omJMM0IWcF3Unck_LG5nPLl2FSX3GM/s1600/difficult-people-fight-de.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">We highly recommend reading:<br />
<b><a href="http://enoughisenoughau.blogspot.com/2011/07/how-to-handle-difficult-people-its-your.html" target="_blank">How to handle difficult people-<br />
It's Your Choice</a></b></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
If you can’t avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it. Figure out what you can do to change things so the problem doesn’t present itself in the future. </span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Often, this involves changing the way you communicate and operate in your daily life.</b></span></blockquote>
</div>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></span><b style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Express your feelings instead of bottling them up.</b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> If something or someone is bothering you, communicate your concerns in an open and respectful way. If you don’t voice your feelings, resentment will build and the situation will likely remain the same.<br />
<br />
</span></span></li>
<li style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Be willing to compromise.</b> When you ask someone to change their behaviour, be willing to do the same. If you both are willing to bend at least a little, you will have a good chance of finding a happy middle ground.<br />
<br />
</span></li>
<li style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Be more assertive</b>. Don’t take a backseat in your own life. Deal with problems head on, doing your best to anticipate and prevent them. If you are got an exam to study for and your chatty roommate just got home, say up front that you only have five minutes to talk.<br />
<br />
</span></li>
<li style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Manage your time better.</b> Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. When you are stretched too thin and running behind, it’s hard to stay calm and focused. But if you plan ahead and make sure you don’t overextend yourself, you can alter the amount of stress you are under.</span></li>
</ol>
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<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="line-height: 115%;">Stress management strategy #3: Adapt to the stressor</span></b></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
If you can’t change the stressor, change yourself. You can adapt to stressful situations and regain your sense of control by changing your expectations and attitude.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJwFvBoW7eqtzOmCanfzeMFEdK3Fots9_P6LXjFSLoyVXD5lq3qVt-fy4Kj4UAuBiCYot5gAiEmXe_7dLmoeOc9pva3qb3Crm175qOe1dLojEEa3jwPFFURueAYBhTC746eBI3lrhczqH6/s1600/ttp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJwFvBoW7eqtzOmCanfzeMFEdK3Fots9_P6LXjFSLoyVXD5lq3qVt-fy4Kj4UAuBiCYot5gAiEmXe_7dLmoeOc9pva3qb3Crm175qOe1dLojEEa3jwPFFURueAYBhTC746eBI3lrhczqH6/s1600/ttp.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">We highly recommend reading:<br />
<a href="http://enoughisenoughau.blogspot.com/2011/08/coping-with-change-and-transition-in.html" target="_blank"><b>Coping with change and <br />
transition in life</b></a></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></span><b style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Reframe problems.</b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Try to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective. Rather than fuming about a traffic jam, look at it as an opportunity to pause and regroup, listen to your favourite radio station, or enjoy some alone time.<br />
<br />
</span></span></li>
<li style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Look at the big picture</b>. Take perspective of the stressful situation. Ask yourself how important it will be in the long run. Will it matter in a month? A year? Is it really worth getting upset over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.<br />
<br />
</span></li>
<li style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Adjust your standards</b>. Perfectionism is a majour source of avoidable stress. Stop setting yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and others, and learn to be okay with ‘good enough’.<br />
<br />
</span></li>
<li style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Focus on the positive.</b> When stress is getting you down, take a moment to reflect on all the things you appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts. This simple strategy can help you keep things in perspective.</span></li>
</ol>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"> <br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Adjusting Your Attitude</b> </span></span><span style="font-size: large;">:</span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">How you think can have a profound effect on your emotional and physical well-being. Each time you think a negative thought about yourself, your body reacts as if it were in the throes of a tension-filled situation. If you see good things about yourself, you are more likely to feel good; the reverse is also true. Eliminate words such as ‘always’, ‘never’, should’ and ‘must’. These are telltale marks of self-defeating thoughts.<span style="color: #990000; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></span></div>
</blockquote>
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<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="line-height: 115%;">Stress management strategy #4: Accept the things you can’t change</span></b></span></h2>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5LH9JELeaowOJYbGdE6R9uNHWqYfrQ4coMG-B31kgmBownrr7JAz7P9TIW1qZNtyT9KzXAtEmA9n_pK_zSGMjCZ_0xVLx1LyvbOPpZ6lhROl7UxYPo2__fQRq-iwqZ6867Jr5StRDIdut/s1600/eating_disorders_225.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5LH9JELeaowOJYbGdE6R9uNHWqYfrQ4coMG-B31kgmBownrr7JAz7P9TIW1qZNtyT9KzXAtEmA9n_pK_zSGMjCZ_0xVLx1LyvbOPpZ6lhROl7UxYPo2__fQRq-iwqZ6867Jr5StRDIdut/s200/eating_disorders_225.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Some sources of stress are unavoidable. You can’t prevent or change stressors such as the death of a loved one, a serious illness, or a national recession. In such cases, the best way to cope with stress is to accept things as they are. Acceptance may be difficult, but in the long run, it’s easier than railing against a situation you can’t change.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK5KBOpGLwUo-YN4KRygyGBpMNGEbT84tLPKmjoS26bBmT7mmUbpkT-VJX70RJQqghJvbtAiFTe9OP70SFMlt5PF6ozHGOsF3HaUdonRTLcgGyvdHOJK4jYawIMNuxPaO2odZ6cQkWQtVA/s1600/happiness.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK5KBOpGLwUo-YN4KRygyGBpMNGEbT84tLPKmjoS26bBmT7mmUbpkT-VJX70RJQqghJvbtAiFTe9OP70SFMlt5PF6ozHGOsF3HaUdonRTLcgGyvdHOJK4jYawIMNuxPaO2odZ6cQkWQtVA/s1600/happiness.png" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">We highly recommend reading:<br />
<a href="http://enoughisenoughau.blogspot.com/2012/01/self-compassion-as-coping-strategy.html%20" target="_blank">Self-compassion as a coping strategy<br />
during stressful life events</a></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></span><b style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Don’t try to control the uncontrollable</b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">. Many things in life are beyond our control – particularly the behaviour of other people. Rather than stressing out over them, focus on the things you can control such as the way you choose to react to problems.<br />
<br />
</span></span></li>
<li style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Look for the upside</b>. As the saying goes, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.”. When facing majour challenges, try to look at them as opportunities for personal growth. If your own poor choices contributed to a stressful situation, reflect on them and learn from your mistakes.<br />
<br />
</span></li>
<li style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Share your feelings</b>: Talk to a trusted friend or make an appointment with a therapist. Expressing what you are doing through can be very cathartic, even if there’s nothing you can do to alter the stressful situation.<br />
<br />
</span></li>
<li style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Learn to forgive.</b> Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world and that people make mistakes. Let go of anger and resentments. Free yourself from negativity energy by forgiving and moving on.</span></li>
</ol>
<br />Enough is Enough Anti Violence Movementhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16036344541649908910noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6281290728939072122.post-44434360943254426762011-10-06T11:25:00.017+11:002012-05-23T10:39:15.717+10:00Peer Pressure and Risk Taking<blockquote style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-3L6srEiFVE8KSEyiGacVPu8OyK_34CE5UocNsjdaX-9YI_cvrdkdQaWwvvjUdUQBe5jw8WIAtD4WWmRjwo1ufX9zqWCnMADrxaj_SOQ7pG2xrfVA17nuOKEuCsz8qV-Wh4A9DtmQkvl7/s1600/peerpressure3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="236" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-3L6srEiFVE8KSEyiGacVPu8OyK_34CE5UocNsjdaX-9YI_cvrdkdQaWwvvjUdUQBe5jw8WIAtD4WWmRjwo1ufX9zqWCnMADrxaj_SOQ7pG2xrfVA17nuOKEuCsz8qV-Wh4A9DtmQkvl7/s320/peerpressure3.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="line-height: 115%;">Peer pressure negative or positive will have lifelong consequences. Insure good doses of positiveness in a young person’s life.<br />
- </span></b></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Ken B Marslew, CEO of EIE </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Youth is a period characterised by rapid psychological and physical transition, where young people progress from being dependent children to independent adults. In this stage of life, people may be vulnerable to the influences of peer pressure, and may be inclined to experiment, push boundaries and take risks that could impact on their immediate and longer term health and wellbeing.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">These risky behaviours include risk drinking, illicit drug use and dangerous driving with some of the potential consequences: being charged with criminal offences, being involved in an accident or violence; hospitalisation and, in some cases, death.<br />
<br />
Youth is often the stage of life when young people begin to experiment with alcohol and other drugs, often followed their peers’ <b>‘everyone is doing it’.</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><b><span style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The difference between negative and positive peer pressure</span></span></b></b></span></blockquote>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirzBnoVYLqvrvUmjbHoWWyYUqEvny9eOjGa_PaH4Dg5IR1BQmoMuUNG_MNmltqkho3YcfVi6bRR1c_PjkX2QI8QhYtGxTSZXmDvoAf4mzHQIQiBN7jwBdaauF-BTRRAE3tw8iNLxXaH-oB/s1600/girls.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="197" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirzBnoVYLqvrvUmjbHoWWyYUqEvny9eOjGa_PaH4Dg5IR1BQmoMuUNG_MNmltqkho3YcfVi6bRR1c_PjkX2QI8QhYtGxTSZXmDvoAf4mzHQIQiBN7jwBdaauF-BTRRAE3tw8iNLxXaH-oB/s200/girls.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="line-height: 115%;">“A healthy part of every child’s development is involvement with their peers. This is especially true during adolescence as teenagers develop a sense of independence from their parents.” – by Bruce A.Epstein</span></b></span></td></tr>
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<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">We all feel pressure (either from inside or outside ourselves) to be like other people. Peer pressure plays a big role in determining who we are and how we talk, act and dress. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">How we chose to react to peer pressure defines who we are as an individual. Are you a leader or a follower? Another thing to remember is that people in groups act differently and do things they’d never do on their own. Why? Because we all lose at least some of our identity in a group. And the normal controls we put on our behaviour can crumble before the need we all feel to fit in and be respected by others.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>The difference between negative and positive peer pressure is the outcome.</b> Good friends can encourage teens to get involved in positive activities, help them learn good social skills and other ways to work out problems, and give teens good advice. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b style="color: #990000;">Negative peer pressure</b> is when teens feel pressured to do something they know is wrong, such as doing drugs, smoking, drinking, stealing, or something they don’t want to do such as having sex, etc.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<b>Why young people (and not young too..) are vulnerable to negative peer pressure?</b></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● To be accepted and liked by people their own age</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● To appear grown up</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● Afraid of being rejected</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● Afraid of losing a friend</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● Afraid of being teased /bullied</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● Don’t know how to say “no”</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● To be a part of the group, don’t feel alone</span><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
● Don’t know what they really want</span><br />
<div style="color: #990000;">
<br />
<h2>
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Tips for parents</span></span></b></span></h2>
</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2MVgC2skiViDuOtYaxENTlJZLwVmO1iaAdiksbHisC6yijXKCtl4ermGYFGETJN2J70Ob9q4SAh5claHMJTzUBYljsKFXL_tfRTxx0k0Qve0vlgFAvzMymbvNlNCYmikWlULvyYq_id5z/s1600/peerpressure1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="201" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2MVgC2skiViDuOtYaxENTlJZLwVmO1iaAdiksbHisC6yijXKCtl4ermGYFGETJN2J70Ob9q4SAh5claHMJTzUBYljsKFXL_tfRTxx0k0Qve0vlgFAvzMymbvNlNCYmikWlULvyYq_id5z/s320/peerpressure1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="line-height: 115%;">" </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"></span></span><span lang="EN-GB" style="line-height: 115%;">Parents should not underestimate the role of peers in a teenager’s life, but should try to encourage their child to have his own ideas, opinions and wants. " by Jolien Sichien</span></span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></span></td></tr>
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<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">“Adolescents want to be independent and dependent at the same time,” says Benjamin Siegel, MD, paediatrician. “On one hand, they want to assert their independence. On the other, they need their parents.” </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Yours rules and structure give your teen a framework for understanding the world, even if he protests. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><br /></b>
When teens were asked what their parents could do to discourage drinking, the answers were surprisingly simple:</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● <b>Talk to us.</b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Teens say they want to know what their parents think and how they make decisions</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● <b>Punish us.</b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Teens who break rules typically wait to see what happens. If there are no consequences, the rules don’t matter.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● <b>Limit overnight visits.</b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Not having to go home can be too much freedom to handle</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● <b>Wait up for us.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Knowing they have to face mum or dad, or both, in a few hours makes most teens think twice about the shape they will be in when they get home.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Parents need to set clear expectations for behaviour, establish rules about communicating where and with whom their teenagers are spending their time. By communicating your expectations and consequences, your adolescent cannot claim they “did not know” that you would be upset.These boundaries need to be included in your teenager's internet use.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">If you really believe that a particular peer group is negatively impacting you child, it is important to deal with reasons your teen is being influenced in this direction. An adolescent is drawn to a particular group because <b>it “feeds” them in some way.</b> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">He or she may have problems with <i>self-confidence and self-esteem </i>and feel it is necessary to fit in any way possible. Parents will not change the teen’s attitude by forbidding access to these peers. They can only change the attitude by dealing with the primary issues that cause it in the first place. </span></div>
<blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Talk to your children about peer pressure. Explain what a powerful force it can be, and... tell them that you will never accept the excuse that “Everyone did it”... that they will be held responsible for their actions.” Tom McMahon</span></b></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">If you believe your concerns are serious, talk to your teenager about behaviour and choices – not the friends. Encourage your teen’s independence by supporting decision making based on principles and not other people. Encourage reflective thinking by helping your teen think about his or her actions in advance and discussing immediate and long-term consequences of risky behaviour. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">If you are in Sydney, please contact our Counselling Unit to arrange a private counselling sessions with your teen on 02 9542 4029. <br />
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</span><br />
<h2>
<span style="font-size: small;"><b style="color: #990000;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Tips for Adolescence</span></span></b></span></h2>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpgINDHD8fh57RAci6r2SUVKGWR80RjEp-nMfkBheZTPgIltzqqdsV_0Fh0hQy3I-J0W05J3R_31vU1G-W_R0lHfrHVdHsWoh5debS-FHqwB-x2DKvCWxH2F8jn2-w2edWiRnjHOffsa0-/s1600/307644_10150336725004863_81294109862_7663366_843571222_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpgINDHD8fh57RAci6r2SUVKGWR80RjEp-nMfkBheZTPgIltzqqdsV_0Fh0hQy3I-J0W05J3R_31vU1G-W_R0lHfrHVdHsWoh5debS-FHqwB-x2DKvCWxH2F8jn2-w2edWiRnjHOffsa0-/s1600/307644_10150336725004863_81294109862_7663366_843571222_n.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">It’s important to have <b style="color: #990000;">a strong self-image</b> because it develops confidence in what you do and how you relate to your peers and loved one. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Peer pressure is testing your will to refuse something you don’t want to do, or know that is wrong for you such as high-risk behaviours. </b></span></blockquote>
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<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>What consequences?</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Drugs and alcohol have really consequences that can affect the quality of your life for a long time. Think about the changes in brain chemistry that can follow periods of drug use. Think about it. You can be involved in an accident, violence crime, and hospitalisation. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
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<h3>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Learn how to handle peer pressure</b></span></h3>
<span style="color: black;">
Peer pressure can be direct or indirect. Peer pressure can be negative and positive. But even pressure to do good things can be bad for you, if you don’t learn to say <b style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">NO </span></b>when you need to. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcnUBALsrnkXIVIjcE9p-VxyTYf95BSYMtDpDqokdMkHVaXVS_bnjvdy_HyCxTQch-IJLoMiDEStbvsr3XVHUFwDC11QaJJabQAo7QIZKTUyMa9JVTSKiPmPOX22N9hxZDfUEk0_REAKML/s1600/no.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcnUBALsrnkXIVIjcE9p-VxyTYf95BSYMtDpDqokdMkHVaXVS_bnjvdy_HyCxTQch-IJLoMiDEStbvsr3XVHUFwDC11QaJJabQAo7QIZKTUyMa9JVTSKiPmPOX22N9hxZDfUEk0_REAKML/s1600/no.jpg" /></a></div>
<blockquote>
<div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<b><span style="font-size: small;">Practice ways to say No:</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Avoid following PEER PRESSURE such as</b>, "...if you're my friend, you'll help me; if you love me, you'll have sex with me; if you want me to be happy, you'll go along with my plan." These are bully tactics -- don't fall for them! </span></div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<b><span style="font-size: small;">You can say:</span></b></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● “Not tonight. I have to study.”</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● “No, thanks. I am in training.”</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● “Hey! No way!”</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● “Just leave me alone.”</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● Alcohol’s NOT my thing.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● Back OFF!</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● Why do you keep pressuring me when I’ve said NO?</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">● <b>“I’m fine.”</b></span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">
<span style="color: #990000; font-size: large;"><b>Learn to Say NO nicely – “N.I.C.E” to say NO</b></span></div>
<blockquote>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b style="color: #990000;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">N</span>:</b> Say “No”. Not “maybe” or “later”. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: #cc0000;">I</span></b>: Follow with an “I” statement: “I’m not going to .... , it is not part of my life plan”</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: #cc0000;">C:</span></b> If pressure continues, “Change”. Change the topic. Change your conversation partner. Change the location. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: #cc0000;">E:</span></b> If these strategies do not help, you need “Exit “plan. Leave a bad situation immediately. </span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Sometimes you can feel pressure just watching how others act or dress (indirect peer pressure), without them saying a word to you. This <b style="color: #990000;">“unspoken pressure”</b> is especially hard to resist, because instead of standing up to a friend, you are standing up to how you feel inside. In this case, your best strategy is to decide what you really want and always being true to yourself and your values. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Think about your options and what consequences will be of your decisions and actions.</span><span style="font-size: small;">It actually takes courage to be your own person. Don’t forget, there is no other person exactly like you. We are all unique, and can’t really be compared to anyone because our experiences have all been different. Have confidence that you can do what you set out to do in life, without relying on what other people think. <br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><u>A true friend will take NO for an answer and not try to make you do something you don’t want to do. </u></b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And you will find that when you are self confident, you exert an energy that makes others want to be around you.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; text-align: center;">
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<div style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">
<b><br />
</b></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Enough is Enough</b> have been successfully presenting <a href="http://enoughisenough.org.au/site/21/schools-programs" target="_blank">programs in primary and secondary schools, Juvenile Justice and adult Correctional Centres</a> for over ten years. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Programs include responsibility, resilience, leadership tools, alternative schools of thought and tools for positive change. These programs are suitable for students, teachers, youth at risk and those who work with them. We also have programs for those with special needs. Programs are presented nationally. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b></b></span></span></div>
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<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; text-align: right;">
<i><b><span style="font-size: small;">Resources:</span></b></i></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: small;">1. Denise Witmer, The difference between negative and positive peer pressure.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: small;">2. Jennifer James, Peer pressure and choices: How to Think for Yourself.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: small;">3. Joanne Barker, Brunilda Nazario, MD, Teens and Peer Pressure.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: small;">4. Port Clinton, Help Teens Say No!</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: small;">5. Parents, Speak Up! U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: small;">6. ABS Statistics</span></div>
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</div>Enough is Enough Anti Violence Movementhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16036344541649908910noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6281290728939072122.post-25187853947200689952011-09-29T14:26:00.017+10:002012-05-09T16:43:30.712+10:00Staying Safe (tips for teens and adults)<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinR1hTwJLZcYZHeT4tjveElNrbACsOO5JgWj27LSMISUqdkgMKkrCJSzu1v07fJJbx4JV7WTIb6oxK3wp2nP9VsjUUVmyXv3J4MtHtt9V_BDBYK8trgrMUPJ7XEztpoM7J-SG0iuXnMaQw/s1600/teensparty.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinR1hTwJLZcYZHeT4tjveElNrbACsOO5JgWj27LSMISUqdkgMKkrCJSzu1v07fJJbx4JV7WTIb6oxK3wp2nP9VsjUUVmyXv3J4MtHtt9V_BDBYK8trgrMUPJ7XEztpoM7J-SG0iuXnMaQw/s320/teensparty.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We face risk every day in the things we do. The food we eat is a form of risk taking. You may be allergic to it. Going out and having fun, first date, online chatting, driving, parties with friends and holidays trips –yes, it is a great time in your life, but all of these have a series of risks attached. All our behaviours, emotions, feelings and words also involve some risk in terms of dangerous and unpredictable consequences. </span></span><br />
<blockquote style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Safe </b>means zero risk and is not achievable at all times in all places under all circumstances.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Safety Behaviour</b> is managed risk-taking behaviour and is achievable.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Safety Behaviour depends on Risk Perception.</span></b></blockquote>
<br />
<div style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<h2 style="color: #660000;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="color: #990000;">How much is ‘at risk’? Shaping our perception of risks</span></b></span></h2>
</div>
</div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_-rTtC35S0OunUWtZux_Cz1j_k0WrQDrQ9hUYxfHUj6L886za1_Vx4cfxxzxkTYGQelZk02lW4Lll7O9kjAL2-U6_j6nA0CSf6jJU68PZQu4eNRCLkb41ag-FBeNFecbCpA335v_xWEAv/s1600/risk2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="103" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_-rTtC35S0OunUWtZux_Cz1j_k0WrQDrQ9hUYxfHUj6L886za1_Vx4cfxxzxkTYGQelZk02lW4Lll7O9kjAL2-U6_j6nA0CSf6jJU68PZQu4eNRCLkb41ag-FBeNFecbCpA335v_xWEAv/s200/risk2.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Are dangers really increasing or are we more afraid?</span></b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Risk perception</b> is an essential factor in every human decision making. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Our perspective affects how we identify risk, how we see the level of risk and in turn, evaluate these risks and make a decision. Each of us envisages risk as a result of what we believe to be the likely outcome, the chance of the outcome actually occurring and how concerned we are if it does happen.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">There are <i>internal </i>(memory, experience, mood) and <i>external</i> (physical environment, sensory information) factors that contribute to influence our perception and the decisions we make.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">A large element of our memory is based on previous experience, so it is logical that our perception of risk is also influenced by prior experience. Many psychologists believe that we repress memories of traumatic experiences and what we recall is not always an accurate reflection of events or today’s reality.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Our mood affects how we function and our risk perception. Mood gets in the way of retrieving information: if we are feeling grumpy, we are more likely to recall negative events and situations whereas if we are content we focus on happy memories. People in positive moods increase the likelihood of helpful, safe behaviours. People in negative moods use less information to make decisions, are more selective of what information they pay attention to, are less detailed in their approach. As a result, their ability to manage safety risks may be reduced. <br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<h3>
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Knowledge and information is the core contributor to risk management and safety.</span></b></h3>
</div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">By being informed we are able to better indentify the risks and can make an informed decision because we better understand the consequences. If we do not know or understand the situation or do not have an experience base on which to make informed decisions, we may choose to take a calculated risk level, using 2 risk components such as <i>likelihood and consequence. </i></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVDvZrYxhi51N6h0GBB4YS90foT0kiSKbKAQirOE3FguMD9MPJlZ-GMSYWaBdAC8gufdlCegpRys04o-nFyJH3qUju1poZRWr9eHJ89dGLmVOpBmfZ5ce2XMJIdho0GLrqyGX3EkyQrvgc/s1600/risklevelcalculator.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="355" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVDvZrYxhi51N6h0GBB4YS90foT0kiSKbKAQirOE3FguMD9MPJlZ-GMSYWaBdAC8gufdlCegpRys04o-nFyJH3qUju1poZRWr9eHJ89dGLmVOpBmfZ5ce2XMJIdho0GLrqyGX3EkyQrvgc/s400/risklevelcalculator.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<h2>
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Making a decision to be safe</span></b></h2>
</div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">We make decisions every day; consciously or unconsciously, on how we are going to behave. Keep in mind that at every stage of your life you will have risk, it’s important to understand what these risks are and have a plan to minimize the consequences.<br />
</span></div>
<blockquote style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<h3>
Step 1: Identify the risks<br />Step 2: Decide how risky it is<br /><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">
Step 3: Evaluate the situation and make a decision</span></h3>
</blockquote>
<div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<h4>
<b>Example: Safe Celebrating</b></h4>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuszPx9LR0QJFAd735nCQ8-gsrrLEyOS90PnkuB_V4R0B9mrRSpckEBtEse6nw-K30XFDhWfaDeC51q8th7nEikQpFwg67hRW052WvAI2lFZOXbgCcYtQfEiLsrDkP_9GJo-DxhIJmwAp6/s1600/partysafety.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="105" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuszPx9LR0QJFAd735nCQ8-gsrrLEyOS90PnkuB_V4R0B9mrRSpckEBtEse6nw-K30XFDhWfaDeC51q8th7nEikQpFwg67hRW052WvAI2lFZOXbgCcYtQfEiLsrDkP_9GJo-DxhIJmwAp6/s320/partysafety.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;">Party safe: This or this?</span></b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Step 1: Identify the risks:</span></b></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Risks</b> associated with <u>being young</u> include:</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• a desire for sensation</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• a tendency towards high-risk behaviours</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• the impact of group/peer dynamics</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• a lack of maturity<br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Risks</b> associated with <u>substance</u> use include:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">• inexperience with alcohol</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">• a tendency towards binge drinking -intoxication/ reduced inhibition</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">• the use of illegal drugs<br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Risks</b> associated with <u>places </u>chosen for celebrations include:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">• unsupervised use of facilities, especially around</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">water (beaches, rivers, pools)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">• limited supervision/emergency support<br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Risks </b>associated with <u>road use</u> include:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">• increased independent use of roads</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">and vehicles</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• inexperience of drivers</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• car overcrowding</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• many of the activities occurring at night</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">• fatigue</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">• limited transport options</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">(Source: http://www.youthsafe.org/images/initiatives/scg_section1.pdf)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Step 2: Decide how risky it is for you using your experience, knowledge, research and our risk level calculator</span></b></div>
<blockquote>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;"><b>There are six signs that tell you when a risk is NOT a good idea.</b></span> <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;">If any of the following apply, think twice before you taking the risk.</span></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
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<b><span style="font-size: small;">1. There's a good chance you could lose everything.</span></b></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">You drink too much, lose your wallet with all ID and money, plus your mobile. No way to get home and no phone to call home..</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<b><span style="font-size: small;">2. You have to put a lot on the line to get only a little.</span></b></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">You risk your health and life experimenting with amphetamines at a party because others told you it was OK.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
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<b><span style="font-size: small;">3. There are too many factors you can't control.</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">You drink too much at a party, cannot control those around you and what they do to you, cannot control yourself and what you do, cannot control your stomach (in from of everyone).</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></div>
</blockquote>
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<b><span style="font-size: small;">4. You feel the odds are against you.</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Peer pressure among friends can be overwhelming if you choose to listen.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></div>
</blockquote>
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<b><span style="font-size: small;">5. There is no way to fix the outcome if it doesn't turn out how you want.</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">People take photos of you on their mobiles while you are drunk. These get sent to the internet instantly – no control to reverse the situation, they are on the internet forever.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></div>
</blockquote>
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<b><span style="font-size: small;">6. You have to take the risk before having a chance to prepare and/or evaluate it.</span></b></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">You get drunk, get into a fight with a friend, throw up on your friend and break something before you realise you have had too much to drink.</span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Step 3: Evaluate the situation and make a decision</span></b></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
Make a decision to be safe and develop your <b>own safety plan</b>. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">The follow tips <i>can be</i> part of your safety plan.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">1. Know the people who’s party you are attending<br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">2. If you chose to drink, have a sober ride home</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">3. Never accept any drink that you did not prepare or see prepared yourself</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">4. Never leave a party with someone you don not know well</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">5. Never walk alone at night</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">6. If you have an alcoholic beverage in your hand – do not go outside<br />
</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">7. If you are drinking, do so responsibly</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">We hope that our tips and ideas will help you to minimize the risks of having a good time and keep you in safety!</span></b></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Source: Taking Risks: How to Take Calculated Risks to Get Ahead in Anything</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: small;">by www.SixWise.com</span></div>
<br />Enough is Enough Anti Violence Movementhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16036344541649908910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6281290728939072122.post-1486758712695148332011-09-23T13:38:00.021+10:002012-06-26T15:34:17.945+10:00Happiness and Joy<span style="color: #cc0000;"> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxG0CLqFYGXe1JuQ0GGrPrAh8n3NPM1DXDmpHd64CodAMUAFnhSpgV884BjfT59h9713gpPmM_Kn8HOT5D8Xao9TtbNbAR8EP0coqPQaTN8dlIwwrwu8B6u8gj62djZ6afW180YVGlzKDI/s1600/joy1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="114" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxG0CLqFYGXe1JuQ0GGrPrAh8n3NPM1DXDmpHd64CodAMUAFnhSpgV884BjfT59h9713gpPmM_Kn8HOT5D8Xao9TtbNbAR8EP0coqPQaTN8dlIwwrwu8B6u8gj62djZ6afW180YVGlzKDI/s200/joy1.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<h2>
<span style="font-size: large;"> <b>JOY: HOW IT WORKS</b></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;">We have feelings about <i>our needs</i> (like food, air, water, etc.).<br />
When needs are satisfied we feel joy.</span> <span style="font-size: small;"><br />
<br />
We have feelings about <i>our wants</i> (for love and affection, even for things like a new house, car, etc.).<br />
When wants are satisfied we feel joy.<br />
<br />
Our emotions constantly push us toward joy. When we use our anger positively, we increase our odds of getting what we want and to feel joy.<br />
<br />
When we use our sadness positively, we replace what we’ve lost and feel joy again.<br />
<br />
When we use our fear well, we protect ourselves and feel joy.<br />
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<b>We feel excited whenever we are “on our way” toward what we want!</b> Excitement mobilizes our energy to keep us on track toward joy.</span></div>
</blockquote>
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<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Source: About Joy by Tony Schirtzinger, Therapist </span></div>
</blockquote>
<span style="color: #cc0000;">----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span> <br />
<blockquote style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">
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<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>TAKING THE TIME TO FEEL THE JOY</b></span></h2>
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</blockquote>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Life is changing constantly, and that means that our wants, needs, feelings and choices are changing too. We need to re-evaluate them on a regular basis.</span></div>
<blockquote style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<b><span style="font-size: small;">Ask yourself questions:</span></b><br />
“What is truly important to me in my life, and why?”<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">“What is in my day that is stopping me feeling happy?”.</span></blockquote>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Your goal is to find your top priorities in your life and focus on what really matters for you. <b>Make sure you know what are your true needs and wants, and why</b>. Everyone you know probably has an opinion about what should be important to you. Keep in mind that this is your life, your needs and your wants.</span></div>
<blockquote>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Consider a <i>Concept Living by Half </i>by Jonar C. Nader : “Half everything in your life that is not adding value to you , so you will have time to double anything else that creates value and bring more daily enjoyment.” Try to balance your “need to do” activities with a few things you really want to do.<b><br />
It is important to make time every day for the things you really enjoy.</b></span></div>
</blockquote>
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<br />
<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>
GETTING MORE JOY IN YOUR LIFE</b></span></h2>
</div>
<ul style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Give yourself <b>small doses of joy</b> regularly using your IMAGINATION.<br />
The easiest way to get more joy in your life is to simply IMAGINE that you’ve got something you want. Close your eyes and picture a situation or place that feels peaceful and joyful. Are you a music lover? Tune in to the soundtrack of nature-crashing waves and birds singing. Buy a small fountain, so you can enjoy the soothing sound of running water in your home. Surround yourself with smells using scented candles, scented sheets, or your favourite perfume. <br />
</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Consider the <b>habitual </b>regular joys.<br />
Every single time we take care of a bodily need we feel a considerable amount of joy. Experiment with your sense of touch: give yourself a hand or neck massage, wear clothing that feels soft against your skin, pet a dog or cat. Taste! When we eat a great meal we feel quite a bit of joy. Movement ! Anything that engages the muscles can work: go for a short walk, dance, even some simple breathing exercises can bring more joy to you.<br />
</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Don’t forget about the<b> joy of getting “Stuff”</b>, but remember that this feels good only for a relatively short while.<br />
There is real joy to be had from getting stuff (everything from new clothes to a new house). Take the time to enjoy these things, but don’t be surprised when you notice that abrupt end to such joys. The excitement of a new car usually lasts only a few days or weeks, and it then just becomes background. The excitement of new shoes, or clothes last only hours or days before it become background.<br />
</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Give and receive<b> joy of affection & attention.</b><br />
Hang out with people who bring out the best in you. Send blessings to people who are hurting, imprisoned, or in pain. We all want the same three things: to give love, to receive love and to know that we matter. Simple acts of kindness such as a smile at strangers or giving a compliment will not cost you anything, but they add enjoyment to your life and the lives of those around you. <br />
</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><b>The BIGGEST JOYS will come!</b><br />
The biggest joys of life come from getting your needs met regularly and from getting big doses of attention and affection. Regularly examine your life’s priorities, your new wants and needs and give them first place in your life. Take care of your own needs and wants, plan your time for small and “stuff” joys and your biggest joys will definitely come!</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="color: #cc0000;"> </span><span style="color: #cc0000;">----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;"><b style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">IT ALL COMES DOWN TO THIS:</span></b></span><b style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
After each bite of food,<br />
After each trip to the bathroom(!),<br />
after each “stroke” you get from the people who like you,<br />
after every opportunity for joy,<br />
stop everything for a moment<br />
and<br />
</span><b style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="color: #c00000; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: large;">NOTICE THAT GOOD FEELING OF JOY!</span></span></b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ2b0G5Kq383QBc_DtVaEiYGkPZ3Fuj6JkNnJkxPfNfY8Ja8QIzZkqCQSuG6e4zO8iE650D1iN4CqYbfT9VseCY7O1mBV-8jGOqbFhL_xVn0Y7-TFHCYegOsMsjUW_qYEv7MhEl1-dnESL/s1600/happiness.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="147" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ2b0G5Kq383QBc_DtVaEiYGkPZ3Fuj6JkNnJkxPfNfY8Ja8QIzZkqCQSuG6e4zO8iE650D1iN4CqYbfT9VseCY7O1mBV-8jGOqbFhL_xVn0Y7-TFHCYegOsMsjUW_qYEv7MhEl1-dnESL/s200/happiness.png" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"></span></b></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> <b>Source: </b><i>About Joy by </i></span><i style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Tony Schirtzinger, Therapist</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"> </span><span style="color: #cc0000;">----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><span style="font-size: small;"><i style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> </i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><br />
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<br />Enough is Enough Anti Violence Movementhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16036344541649908910noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6281290728939072122.post-84880676911215629772011-09-12T11:43:00.010+10:002012-05-23T10:41:04.910+10:00Building Resilience in Youth<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih-COeSpGXpwfQv9EHpbgofJl2GAX4EEiYhLmbuZWTWDXkwVxBZ2PSFnjj6oj9Oq2nieROlEnQP0VEmHhpBeKDKuzPoxbKH16OzYnmYveEiETM9pEsliNWYWkuOQT6rqEjRe8dhfZIndby/s1600/Resilience+Picture+for+Blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih-COeSpGXpwfQv9EHpbgofJl2GAX4EEiYhLmbuZWTWDXkwVxBZ2PSFnjj6oj9Oq2nieROlEnQP0VEmHhpBeKDKuzPoxbKH16OzYnmYveEiETM9pEsliNWYWkuOQT6rqEjRe8dhfZIndby/s400/Resilience+Picture+for+Blog.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<blockquote>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<h3>
<b style="color: #990000;">Resilience</b><b><span style="color: #990000;">. We hear this word a lot these days! What does it mean? </span></b>The Oxford dictionary definition is “Recoiling, springing back, resuming original form after stretching or bending.”</h3>
</div>
</blockquote>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">What does it mean in real terms?</span></div>
<ul style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;">The ability to bounce back from a difficult situation and in some cases take a completely new perspective on that and other difficult situations.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Manage life’s challenges, changing and pressure effectively.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Cope and adapt to adversity.</span></li>
</ul>
<blockquote style="color: #20124d; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<h3>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>You Cannot Change What Has Happened</b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">
You Can Control How You Think About It</span></b></span></h3>
</blockquote>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">When some thing ( a plan, a project, a relationship, a situation) does not go the way you want it to go, what is the first question most people ask? <b>WHY ME?</b> This is the wrong question! What happens when you ask the wrong question? Yes! You get the wrong answer and a lot of negative feedback. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">What then would be the right question? <b>WHAT CAN I LEARN FROM WHAT JUST HAPPENED?</b> And you get a completely different interpretation back – and a positive lesson can be learnt.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: #990000;">Resilience is like a muscle</span></b> – when you develop the right exercises you can build resilience. Negative thoughts are the biggest threats for building resilience. Some people have resilience muscles built in, others need to develop them.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: small;">Some people allow fear to stop them from seeing the opportunities in situations.<br />
</span><span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: #990000;">Fear</span></b> in most cases is:</span><span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: #990000;">F</span></b>alse </span><span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: #990000;">E</span></b>vidence </span><span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: #990000;">A</span></b>ppearing </span><span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: #990000;">R</span></b>eal</span></blockquote>
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<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Resilience</b></span> is associated with the following factors:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<b>- HAPPINESS</b></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">What makes you happy? Do more of it!</span></div>
<div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">-</span> SELF ESTEEM</b></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">You are a worthwhile person! Love yourself!</span></div>
<div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">-</span> ENERGY</b></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Are you sleeping enough, exercising enough, eating the right food?<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></b></span></div>
<div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">- </span>OPTIMISM</b></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Do you look for the positives, not the negatives – the reasons why you can, not the reasons why you cannot.<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div>
<div style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">- </span>DIRECTION</b></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Do you have your goals for the future written down? Do it now!<br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;"></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;">
<h2 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>Understanding Emotions</b></span></h2>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggYKsMcHbdcqmT1LSkStNAP3gTlYBGAnV4U77Q5LEkAOpZ1psYV6tAmJC-brNfE2fkMQsoIx0QqMzKdHC_F8EC_PzO2NxkV0l8Crw1-VIXW5SLqqQD_eoH8_jpPIyzar8wXSE3MorLlGbD/s1600/deal_anger1.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="71" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggYKsMcHbdcqmT1LSkStNAP3gTlYBGAnV4U77Q5LEkAOpZ1psYV6tAmJC-brNfE2fkMQsoIx0QqMzKdHC_F8EC_PzO2NxkV0l8Crw1-VIXW5SLqqQD_eoH8_jpPIyzar8wXSE3MorLlGbD/s200/deal_anger1.gif" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>We highly recommend reading:</b><br />
<a href="http://enoughisenoughau.blogspot.com.au/2011/04/anger-management-and-violent-behaviour.html" target="_blank">Anger Management & Violence Behaviour</a><br />
<a href="http://enoughisenoughau.blogspot.com.au/2011/10/peer-pressure-and-risk-taking.html" target="_blank">Peer Pressure and Risk Taking</a><br />
<a href="http://enoughisenoughau.blogspot.com.au/2011/07/how-to-handle-difficult-people-its-your.html" target="_blank">How to Handle Difficult People</a><br />
<a href="http://enoughisenoughau.blogspot.com.au/2011/07/ten-keys-for-building-resilient-mindset.html" target="_blank">Ten Keys for Building a Resilient Mindset</a><br />
<a href="http://enoughisenoughau.blogspot.com.au/2011/05/4-steps-to-finding-your-voice.html" target="_blank">Building Resilience - Find Your Islands of Competence</a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: small;">This is one of our greatest challenges. We sometimes misinterpreted our own feelings. </span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">T</span>he only person we have the power to change is us. </b><b>Other people will only change if they want to.</b></h3>
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<span style="font-size: small;">We sometimes misinterpreted other people feelings. All of the factors we have mentioned, you have control over when you understand yourself and your emotions.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>The most important relationship you will ever have – is with you.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Reading books, attending courses, mixing with positive people will help you understand your emotions and how they effect you and other people.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">There have been many good books written on developing Resilience in young people. <br />
Two of that I recommend:</span></div>
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<li><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Learned-Optimism-Change-Your-Mind/dp/0671019112">Learned Optimism by Dr Martin Seligman</a></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
Positivity by Dr Barbara Fredrickson</span></li>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Ken B Marslew, CEO of Enough is Enough</b></span></div>
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</div>Enough is Enough Anti Violence Movementhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16036344541649908910noreply@blogger.com0