Holiday Driving Safety Tips

Christmas is coming!!!!
It is a special time for family celebration, so make sure that you celebrate and return home safely. Last year, there were 10 fatalities in NSW and nearly 533 people got injured during Christmas Holidays. We hope that our Holiday Driving Safety Tips will help you to make a little improvement in your road user behaviour and keep the holiday season safe for you, your family and other commuters.

Drink Driving

Alcohol affects your driving skills, moods and behaviour. Once it's been consumed the effects cannot be reversed. The only thing that will sober you up is time. Getting back to zero (sobering up), takes a long time. No amount of coffee, food, physical activity or sleep will speed up the process.

You don't have to be drunk to be affected by alcohol. You might feel normal but no one drives as well after drinking alcohol.

Novice drivers with any level of alcohol in their blood are at a much higher risk of crashing. This is why learner and provisional licence holders are restricted to a zero alcohol limit.

Driver Fatigue

When setting off on a long trip don't leave too early in the morning because your body clock believes you should still be asleep.

Have a 15 minute rest every two hours. On a long trip, especially in holiday season, there are nearly 1400 rest areas across NSW. You will see plenty of signs and warnings about STOP, REVIVE & SURVIVE - so please take advantage of them. Make this a habit if you are on long drives.

Keep an eye out for the signs of driver fatigue which are: yawning; sweaty hands; tired eyes; poor concentration; restlessness; drowsiness; boredom; slow reactions; and over-steering.

Tow Check

If towing a trailer or caravan, ensure:

• good tyre condition and suitable tyre pressure (including spare)
• towbar & towing equipment is secure
• all electrical connections are secure and lights work correctly
• trailer brakes work correctly
• rear view mirrors are adjusted correctly

Distance between Your Car and the Car in FrontIt's a good idea to always keep a minimum three seconds gap between you and the car in front. When it's raining and/or foggy, double the distance to six seconds no matter what speed you're doing.

Smooth Driving

Don't rush into things. Plan ahead when driving. Make early decisions on braking and accelerating. Change gears and brake smoothly to avoid skidding. This will provide a smoother drive for yourself and your passengers while also providing less wear and tear on the vehicle and helping you save on fuel costs.

Keep Left Unless Overtaking

When driving on a dual lane road, always keep to the left lane. Use the right hand lane for overtaking; turning right or when roadworks are being carried out and there is no other choice.

Indicate Early

Always indicate when changing lanes, 30 metres wherever practical, to advise other motorists of what you are doing.

Expect the Unexpected

Drive with your line of sight parallel to the road, not looking down onto it. By doing this you see further into the distance so you can be better prepared if there is a problem ahead. It may even mean you can avoid a crash.

Overtaking

Ensure you have enough room to go past the vehicle you are overtaking and not cut them off. Pick your time carefully as overtaking can be quite dangerous and making the wrong decision may result in a serious crash.

Stopping before the Intersection

Always slow down coming to an intersection especially if you are towing a van. Your braking distance will be greater than when you're not towing, so make sure you allow for this. You must stop on a stop sign/line.

Driving at Night

Driving at night requires more skill and concentration than at daytime due to your restricted vision. Oncoming headlights can obscure your vision and pedestrians can be near impossible to see. Leave a bigger gap between you and the car in front to allow for your reduced vision and reaction time.

Road Rage

Stay relaxed and try not to let other people's driving skills or decisions worry you. If another driver makes a mistake, don't get angry; just concentrate on your own driving skills, behaviour and safety. If another driver is courteous towards you, then acknowledge the good deed with a wave.

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From Tragedy to Triumph

Watch our new online video "From Tragedy to Triumph" with inspirational ideas from Ken Marslew AM, CEO of Enough is Enough and music by Andy V "Turn Tragedy to Triumph" written especially for Enough is Enough. Find out some ways on how to turn the pain into the power and negative into positive. Thrive, don't just survive. Make a difference.

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Practical Strategies to Deal with Grief and Loss

Enough is Enough has commenced a Memory Book for those who have lost a loved one through traffic accident

Grief and loss as a result of trauma responses eg. sudden accidents, violent events or disasters is complex and requires special understanding. It can leave a feeling of disorientation and unreality for those grieving. The need to understand and make ‘meaning’ out of these traumatic events often becomes a priority.

Honouring the memory of a loved one is an important part of the grief process. Often there is an unconscious fear of forgetting the meaning the relationship held for us or the unique attributes of a person we have lost.

A way to honour our special memories can be by creating a ‘memory box’.

A ‘memory box’ is somewhere we can hold our treasured memories, perhaps of special photos and memorabilia, included stories or sayings that were part of your relationship with this person. By writing down as much as you can remember, favourite foods, favourite times, music, you create a sacred space to come back to. This is a place that ‘holds the special memories’ so you know they are safe and you can connect with them when you want. This can be an ongoing process as part of the grieving – a place to return to as you gradually remember the special memories of a loved one.

This process also brings into ‘reality’ the loss which can be particularly difficult after a traumatic or sudden loss.

An important part of integrating loss in these special circumstances is through the therapeutic process so that any symptoms of trauma can be understood. Meaning can be made by the retelling of the story.

- by Deborah, Enough is Enough Counsellor

Travelling down the memory lane

is not all black 'n white.

Travelling down the memory lane

is not all lacking light.

Travelling down the memory lane

is not eye filled with tears.

Travelling down the memory lane

brings fresh and soothing air.

Travelling down the memory lane

is a test of time and mind

Travelling down the memory lane

is a joy of it's kind.

__________________________

Enough is Enough proudly presents:

World Day of Remembrance for Road Traffic Victims

Sunday 21st November 2010
Hazelhurst Gallery Gardens at Gymea, Sydney
Start from 10 am

Come and Share This Day With Us

___________________________________

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Peacemaking

Peacemaking means nurturing harmony between individuals or groups of people. Peacemaking begins internally, with a hunger for peace and a basic assumption that the other party is an ordinary person or group with ordinary wants and needs, just like us. 


Peacemaking grows from the humble suspicion that our own perspective is limited and that there are truths we can discover if we listen. It requires flexibility of thought, a willingness to see many sides of an issue, to imagine ourselves in the situation of another party.

The greatest barrier to peacemaking is fear. Fear makes us see ourselves as victims or potential victims and blinds us to the harm that we ourselves have dome or the threat we pose to others. Embracing peacemaking doesn't mean that we always avoid conflict, but we recognize its real costs and weigh those costs as if they would be borne by ourselves and our loved ones. 
Peacemaking is a journey as well as destination.

http://www.wisdomcommons.org

__________________________

Enough is Enough proudly presents:

Michael Marslew Peace Foundation

The object of the foundation is to promote practical peace strategies amongst young people, giving them the responsibility to deal the level of violence in today's society.

The project is dedicated to the memory of Michael Kenneth Marslew, 25th March, 1975 to 27th February 1994

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Protecting Yourself - Your Personal Safety Plan

"Protecting yourself" is not isolated to warding off violent attacks. The benefits of self-defence training include protecting your physical health, your mental health and your emotional well-being.

It is important to be aware of and exercise your right to safety. Unfortunately, it is not a perfect world and your personal safety may be threatened. It’s a good idea to follow safety strategies so you are able to deal in a range of situations which we may find ourselves everyday as well as possible abusive, violence and bullying situations. It is also important that you acknowledge and respect that all people have the right to safety.

Everyone should have their own Personal Safety Plan. It consists of safety strategies you choose to suit your own lifestyle and abilities. The more you follow them and know that they work, the more they will become habits. It should not involve succumbing to a list of rules provided by another person.

The next 8 Core Concepts of Personal Safety which will help you develop your Personal Safety Plan .

1. Keep fear of violence in perspective

Many people have a fear of violent crime that is wildly disproportionate to its reality. This fear often results in unnecessary limitations being placed on your lifestyle. Education is the key to putting this fear into perspective. If you know the trends associated with personal violence offences, such as how often, when, where they occur and by whom, you can work out how likely it is that you would become a victim, and in what circumstances. If you follow practical safety strategies you can significantly minimise these risks.

This way, preventative strategies are based on the actual risk, rather than restricting your lifestyle based on an exaggerated fear.

2. Commitment

Being committed to your personal safety is fundamental to maintaining it. Many people have a strong commitment to keeping their loved ones safe, and are willing to do anything to protect them, but don’t have the same level of commitment to their own safety. Value yourself and keep yourself safe, by making safety strategies a part of your lifestyle.

3. Confidence

Confidence is a valuable tool in all you do. In the context of personal safety, having and displaying confidence plays a vital role. Offenders target people they see as vulnerable and the ones who would offer them the least resistance. So that vast majority of threats can be deterred if you appear to be confident and self-assured. A confident person is more likely to identify and implement preventative safety strategies; to have faith in their own abilities; and to take action if their personal safety is threatened. A person without confidence tends to be too scared to go out, diminishing their quality of life.

Having confidence is a source of power. And remember – if you don’t feel confident in any situation, fake it! Often visual imagery is a technique you can use to help you act sensibly under pressure. This means imagining yourself in a situation where you are using safety strategies successfully.

4. Body language

Body language is a powerful tool that you can use to your advantage. By appearing confident and comfortable in your surroundings, you decrease your attractiveness to potential offenders.

Strong, confident body language includes standing tall with your head up, shoulders back and walking with a purpose. Making brief eye contact with passers-by is also an effective method of demonstrating that you are not intimidated.

5. Awareness of surroundings

Being aware of what is happening around you will alert you to possible threats to your safety, before they reach you. This gives you the opportunity to remove yourself from the situation.

The key is to look relaxed and comfortable, rather than paranoid, thereby appearing “streetwise”. This decreases the likelihood of being targeted as a potential victim.

6. Trusting and acting on instincts

Your body senses danger long before your mind consciously works out why. It is vital you listen to, trust, and act on these instincts.

If you do sense danger or pick up “bad vibes” from someone, something or some place, leave immediately and go to a place where you feel safe.

7. Assertiveness

Assertive communication allows people to express their points of view objectively to reach an agreeable solution. It does not involve backing down (being passive) or standing over someone (being aggressive).

Assertive behaviour does not come naturally to most people. However, by practising assertiveness in handling minor matters, such as advising a shop assistant if you have been short-changed or sending back unsatisfactory food at a restaurant, you can enhance you ability to be assertive in other aspects of life.

In most day-to-day situations, you should be able to communicate assertively and confidently. But there may be occasions where acting either aggressively or passively will be the best way to keep safe.

8. Networks

Many people find it difficult to trust others with their feelings, experiences or concerns. Often those most in need of a trusted person to talk with, such as victims of domestic violence or people contemplating suicide, are the most isolated.

It is important to develop a network of people you trust and can contact for advice or assistance in an emergency, of if you feel your personal safety is threatened. They can include relatives, friends, community groups, neighbours and police. A supportive network also increases your confidence and self-esteem and can positively impact on all aspects of your life.

Example: Developing a 'Dealing with the Intimidator' Strategy
An intimidator controls you by making you fear him. He/she does this by using a variety methods like shouting, verbal abuse, accusing, and even threatening physical harm. If you look around and observe the relationships of your friends, relatives, co-workers, etc , you will see that some of them play the role of the intimidator. He/she can use control techniques because they play into your own fears and self doubts.

Your Basic Steps:
1. How to breathe
When you begin to feel scared, or even angry, try this easy breathing exercise:

• Gently and slowly breathe in through the nose, to the count of three
• Hold your breath to the count of six,then
• breathe out through the mouth to the count of six
• hold for three and keep repeating... in for 3, hold for 6, out for 6 & hold for 3.

When you maintain this constant cycle or rhythm of breathing, your awareness is being held on your breathing patterns instead on what the intimidator is doing.

2. Where to look

The intimidators are far less likely to pick on people who don't show them any fear, anger or judgment.


Even if you are feeling scared on the inside, your "Plain Eyes" will show your confidence in such difficult situation.

To show a bully your "Plain Eyes" it it important to keep looking at a special spot on the bad guy which changes depending on how far away they might be which is either on the:

• Top lip of a bad guy when they are on the 'Neutral Zone'
• Bridge of their nose when they are inside the 'Neutral Zone ' or
• Skin of their lower eyelid if you are ever 'eyeball to eyeball' to a bad guy.
  
  
  3. What to say
  
  

  You need to gain an understanding of :

  1. His/her shouting and intimidations represent his/her own unhappiness. By recognizing this, you can understand that he/she 'owns the problem', and it has nothing to do with your actions.

  2.All of us need to overcome our different fears which have their basis in childhood (or in any other periods of our life) when a shouting and threatening parent (or other person) was a real threat for a number of many reasons. Even as full-grown adults, a shouting person may trigger off our subconscious reaction to a 'former similar' we experienced as young, overwhelmed children.

  Let him/her know clearly and strongly that you will no longer give in into his/her shouting and attempts to intimidate you. You can say: "I don't like the way you talk to me. Please stop". Allow him/her to calm down. When he/she calmed down, suggest that the two of you try again to discuss the subject. Let him/her know that you are willing to make compromises if he/she would just express his/her needs, honestly and clearly. Try to remember that he/she is living a life that may not be very satisfying and might welcome an opportunity to change.

  Depending on your's situation you can develop your own 'Dealing with the Intimidator' Strategy as a part of your Personal Safety Plan. We will appreciate if you'll share your thoughts with us.
  
  

  Resources:

  1. NSW The essential guide into adulthood.  www.smarthandbooks.com.au
  2. Be Safe in Your Space , Non-violent self-defence by Gary Simmons

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Domestic Violence and Abuse

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Nonviolent Peace Building

Enough is Enough participated at the "Other Ways: Growing Alternatives to Violence" Program at Strathfield on 24 Sept. to celebrate Australian achievements over the past 10 years . The participants shared their experiences of active peacemaking together and affirmed the learnings of Decade to Overcome Violence (2001-2010) in Australia.

" ‘It has been immensely encouraging to celebrate Australian achievements over the past 10 years’, said Doug Hewitt, convener of the organising committee, ‘achievements such as the National Apology to the Stolen Generations, hard-won improvements in welcoming asylum seekers, the growth of inter-religious relationships, developing ecological awareness, and the unprecedented scale of the peace movement at moments such as the build up to war with Iraq. But in all those areas where we celebrate improvements, we recognise we still need to do better. At the end of a decade which began with the September 11 attack on the USA and ends with our troops still in quagmire in Afghanistan, it seems however that Australian governments and opinion shapers are still slow to recognise the truth that violent methods only breed further violence.’

In the wake of the recent UN human rights panel’s comments and the visit of the ‘Living Letters’ team of the World Council of Churches to Northern Territory Aboriginal communities, the racist ‘dog-whistling’ of the Federal election and the continued lack of progress in Afghanistan, the Middle East, and on climate change, the ‘Other Ways’ participants particularly call on Australian authorities:

• to replace the failed Northern Territory Intervention with genuine Aboriginal participation and self-determination

• to respond to the Australian Catholic Bishops’ call for a bipartisan approach by national leaders to end demonisation of asylum seekers and to meet Australia’s responsibilities to the vulnerable of our world

• to set a deadline for withdrawal of Australian troops from Afghanistan

• to promote actively the UN resolutions on Palestine-Israel

• to act with maximum urgency in implementing the clear wish of the Australian public for substantial climate change measures

• to promote peace education at all levels of Australian society.

The keynote speakers at the ‘Other Ways’ gathering were Claudette Werleigh, secretary general Pax Christi International, and past Prime Minister of Haiti; Sister Susan Connelly, Mary MacKillop East Timor Mission from Sydney, and Azim Khamisa, founder and teacher of “Achieving Peace through Forgiveness” from the USA.

The event was jointly organised by the NSW Ecumenical Council, the Columban Mission Institute, the Edmund Rice Network, the Franciscan Friars, Pace e Bene Australia, Pax Christi Australia, Uniting Care NSW.ACT, and the National Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Ecumenical Commission.” (1)

(1) http://sjaroundthebay.org/?p=1744 Media Statement

T

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8 Secrets to a Strong and Happy Family

The family is the basic social unit of society. It is in the family that we first learn to play, to share, to help and to love. Some families effectively prepare kids to be strong and resilient, teaching them on how to cope with life’s frustrations and inevitable problems; others do not.

All families have challenges and weaknesses. But some families use key strengths to grow and prosper. Years of research have found that strong families cultivate 8 important traits that are found in the majority of strong, happy families. Here are the traits that are essential to a strong, happy family. Where is your family now? If your family is strong in a certain area, put plus in the box, if it is weak, put a minus, and if it doesn’t exist, put a zero. Then, try to turn the minuses into pluses!

1. Commitment: One for All, and All for One

The most important trait in strong, happy families is commitment. Commitment to the family – putting the family first – and commitment to each individual in the family in helping him or her become everything he or she can be. Commitment to the family – investing time and energy in family activities and not letting work or other priorities take too much time away from family interaction. In short, family life is priority.

A winning attitude is “I’ll forgo my own immediate gratification to help a child or a mate succeed, because I know the personal joy that I experience when I help another family member.”

2. Effective Communication: The Basis for All Family Strength

It’s hard to believe that the amount of high-quality communication time could be only 10 minutes per week, as one study found. Because you are product of your experience, each day you are a new person. Without taking and listening to each other family members can soon become strangers. To understand each other, a family has to be willing to invest the time necessary to share their feelings and opinions. Strong families are often task-oriented in their communications, identifying problems and discussing how to solve them together.

Have regular family meetings. Family meetings help us give proper attention to our family. They provide a forum of discussion for family issues, and an opportunity to plan for family time.

3. Appreciation and Affection: Do not Afraid to Express Your Love

A number of years ago a survey was done among women asking what they considered men’s worst faults. “Lack of appreciation” was the most frequent response. Do you let your children and mate know they’re appreciated? Can they tell by the way you treat them that you think they are pretty special? Strong families focus on the strengths of each other – not the faults.

If you think your family needs improvement in this area, try serving a compliment with each meal – at least 3 times a day. “ I really like the way you...” “You are special to me because...” “One of the things I like best about you is...” “You make me happy when you...” “You have a real talent when it comes to...” “ I love you ..” “You make me proud when....”” You make me feel wonderful when you...”

4. Time Together – Enjoy Being Together

One study of 1,500 schoolchildren asked, “What do you think makes a happy family?” Few replied that money, cars, fancy homes, or Disney World made a happy family . Most children said that a happy family is one that does things together, and that genuinely enjoys the times family members share with each other.

Plan time together. Schedule it. Play together, read together, travel together, walk together, and enjoy leisurely times together. Don’t let jobs, school, or personal hobbies steal family time.

5. Spiritual Well-Being /Religion - “the family that prays together stays together.”

People in strong families describe this concept in a variety of ways: some talk about faith in God, hope, or a sense of optimism in life. Other talk about their families in almost religious terms. Other expresses these kinds of feelings in terms of ethical values and commitment to important causes. “Spiritual well –being can be seen as the caring centre within each individual that promotes sharing, love and compassion. It is a feeling or force that helps people transcends themselves and their day-to-day stressors, and focus on that which is sacred to them in life.”(2) A spiritual connection provides sense of purpose in life, direction, and perspective.

6. Successful Management of Stress and Crisis

Healthy families aren’t problem-free; they just admit to problems and get the help they need to solve them! The longer a problem drags on without a solution, the more discouraging family life becomes. Don’t allow this to happen! If you wait it can destroy you – and your family. Keep searching for answers. Keep reaching out!

Strengthening Families in Times of Crisis by Stephen R.Covey (3):

“There are three things that I encourage everyone to do with their families in good times or bad:

1. Write a family mission statement – identify what kind of family you want to be. For instance, what qualities define your family, what kinds of feeling do you want in your home, how do you want to build relationships? Get everyone involved in these questions and write something that describes your family and how you want to be.

2. Hold weekly family meetings – gather your family once a week to talk about issues, problems or good things in your family. Refer to your mission statement to see how you are doing. Enjoy this time together; do something fun.

3. Remember the emotional bank account – similar to a bank account, you can make deposits or withdrawals from each of your family relationships. Make a conscious effort to make meaningful deposits in your relationships. When you make a withdrawal, apologize and correct the mistake.

As you do these things, you will find your relationships strengthened in your family. You will take control of your life and your family’s life rather than being tossed away by the storms of problems or crises that come your way and your family will be your greatest source of strength and support.”

We highly recommend to read:
5 Building Blocks of Active Parenting

7. Common Interests and Goals – Your Own Family Rhythm

The more that family members have in common, the more they tend to do together. Having similar interests and developing common goals gives the family something to look forward to, to plan toward, and to experience together. A vacation is a great example. The planning of it sometimes is almost more enjoyable than the actual vacation!

The healthiest families are also open to change. They have routines, rituals, and traditions that give direction, meaning, and structure to the daily flow of life. They have learned to adapt to the changing needs of their family. They grow with the times and one another. From both the past and the present grow new traditions and new rhythms. The harmony and rhythm may change in creative ways, but the beauty of the music continues.

8. Play and A Sense of Humour

Happy families have fun together; they laugh together. Having a sense of humour during tense, troublesome moments is like pouring oil on boiling water. It defuses the tension and has an immediate calming effect.

Happy Family Journey!

Resources:

1. Joycelyn Tucker Burgo, Kids and SELF-ESTEEM
2. Stinnett and DeFrain, The Family Strengths Model
3. Stephen R. Covey , Strengthening Families in Times of Crisis
4. Kay Kuzma, What makes a strong, happy family? - Essential traits for happiness

Related articles:   How You Parent?    My Out-of-Control Teen